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Candorville

Comics about being ready and readying.

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Result page:    2  Next  (34 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-22 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-22 Pub. Date: 2019-03-22
Image Number: 176839
Caption: Boss, if you could be any animal on earth, which one would you be? I'm glad you asked, minion. I'd be a nocturnal, camouflaged Wobbegong at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. There I'd lie in wait, ever vigilant, ever hungry ... ever ready to devour any creature large or small unlucky enough to brush against my whiskers. I'm going to back away now. No, no ... don't back away, minion ... That's when the Wobbegong will get you.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-27 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-27 Pub. Date: 2018-12-27
Image Number: 175587
Caption: Sometimes being a journalist is really frustrating, Clyde. Take this Facebook story … My sources told me they were letting companies like Netflix and Spotify read, write and delete people's private messages. I asked all three companies if it was true, and all three weaseled out of answering. It's just like when I ask friends if they're ready to repay the $2 I loaned them, and ... Clyde?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-26 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-26 Pub. Date: 2018-10-26
Image Number: 174604
Caption: 'Sup, Big L?* *We now have more years behind us than we have ahead of us. What's up, Clyde?* *Yeah. I used to feel I'd have time to see everything there was to see 'cause I was going to live forever. Cough cough?* *I'm not ready to grow old, Lemont. Yawn* *I don't know how to cope with it either.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-27 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-27 Pub. Date: 2018-09-27
Image Number: 174194
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-24 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168665
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-19 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-19 Pub. Date: 2018-02-19
Image Number: 168660
Caption: North Korea just detonated a hydrogen bomb and warned that it's ready to go to war. Click. An alarming new study proves that something in your apartment is almost certain to cause elbow cancer. Stay tuned to find out what it is. Click. The dwarf planet Ceres seems to have broken orbit and is plummeting straight toward earth. Stay tu ... Click. " ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiiiife ... "
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-15 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-15 Pub. Date: 2018-02-15
Image Number: 168416
Caption: You ready to see Black Panther tonight, Big L? Almost. I got the tickets, I got a baby sitter for Lionel … but I still need to sew my costume. You have any idea how hard it is to find black spandex? What? You're not afraid to be seen with a man wearing spandex tights, are you? Bruh, after what you wore to The Little Mermaid, ain't nothin' faze me.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-07 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166341
Caption: I saw that article you wrote about net neutrality being killed. What a bunch of whiny, panicky snowflakery. You wrote "get ready to pay extra to stream your favorite shows and make internet calls." Yeah. Before net neutrality, AT&T throttled Skye and didn't stop until pressured by the FCC and consumers. You scared? You wrote "get ready to pay a fee to connect your smart home to the internet." That's right ... Without net neutrality, there are no rules to prevent your ISP from charging you whatever fees they want. Maybe you need a safe space where the big bad ISP can't get to your piggy bank. You know, you're kind of rude. Oh, you're going to get personal now? You've clearly lost the debate if you have to resort to personal attacks. What the -- you got personal. I was just ... (sigh) ... oh, forget it. Don't get upset. I just won the Gaslighting Association's Internet-Arguing World Championship. I'm just celebrating.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-15 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162601
Caption: Six months, bruh. Six months till they start deporting 800,000 "dreamers" to countries they don't know how to live in. I dug a hole in my closet an' I got canned food. I'm ready. Ready for what? Ain't you never read "Anne Frank's Diary"? What are you asking: Have I read it, or have I never read it? You and your double negatives. Ain't you never heard of the Underground Railroad? Now you're just messing with me.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-27 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-27 Pub. Date: 2017-07-27
Image Number: 160760
Caption: Hey, Lionel, it's daddy! You ready to go home? Everyone hazta go through me. Day Care. What? Who are you, little big man? Themz callz me "Bulldogz." Are you one of Lionel's little friends? Aren't you cute. Anyway, Lionel, let's go home. Dinner's waiting. did you tell my boy to deal with a bully by hiring a 4-year-old bodyguard? No. Ahmz only threeez.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-09 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-09 Pub. Date: 2016-09-09
Image Number: 148218
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-03 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-03 Pub. Date: 2016-02-03
Image Number: 138594
Caption: The Double Date. So … you and Lemont seem happy.* *You'd better not be toying with my best friend's emotions. Employees must wash hands. You said … "So … you took my love. That can't be." … Ready to send? Yes. … Wait, what?! No! No, Siri, don't send! Sending. Siri, you @#$%, I will strangle you! You said ... "Listen here, @#$%, I will strangle you. ... Ready to send? Definitely not! No! Sending ...
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-16 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-16 Pub. Date: 2016-01-16
Image Number: 137668
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-11 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-11 Pub. Date: 2016-01-11
Image Number: 137663
Caption: North Korea just detonated a hydrogen bomb and warned that it's ready to go to war. Click. An alarming new study proves that something in your apartment is almost certain to cause elbow cancer. Stay tuned to find out what it is. Click. The dwarf planet Ceres seems to have broken orbit and is plummeting straight toward earth. Stay tuned. Click. " ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiiiiiife ... "
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-20 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-20 Pub. Date: 2015-03-20
Image Number: 124248
Caption: Where do babieth come fwom? Well, it's simple, son. You've heard of men? Uh huh. And women? Uh huh. Well, when men and women have relations, each of them contributes 23 chromosomes that combine to form a diploid cell that becomes a blastocyst, which undergoes a multi-phase gestation until it's ready to leave the womb. Babies come from the hospital. Oh.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-11 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-11 Pub. Date: 2014-02-11
Image Number: 107414
Caption: Even I'm more ready than Clay Aiken is to run for Congress. Nonsense. Clay Aiken's well-known, he's a nice guy, he's worked with autistic kids and charities, and he's dedicated himself to serving others for years. Exactly. What a dude like that know about manipulatin' voters, colleagues an' donors? Dude'll be eaten alive in Washington. Stop being right. It's weird.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-11 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-11 Pub. Date: 2012-09-11
Image Number: 87230
Caption: At the Candorville Chronicle … So … Brown … Ready to come back from your sabbatical? My what? Welcome back. You start Monday. Editor-In-Chief. I wasn't on "sabbatical." You fired me over a year ago. Are you trying to trick me into coming back … ? This have anything to do with my website stealing all your site's readers? Coincidence. Editor-In-Chief.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-27 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-27 Pub. Date: 2011-10-27
Image Number: 67157
Caption: Hello, Lemont. I just wanted to wish you luck and show you there are no hard feelings. Well … Thanks, Roxanne. In fact, after mother … I mean, the judge … grants me full custody, I promise only to tell our son about your many shortcomings in the most positive light. My attorney tell me I have a good chance, Roxanne. We've given the judge a lot to think about. The judge is ready to rule?! It's only been thirty seconds! We're dead! We're ... Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there. How much of that did you ... Maybe I'll do you a favor and not tell him about you at all.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-20 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-20 Pub. Date: 2011-05-20
Image Number: 61000
Caption: Roxanne says she's never even HEARD of you? Custody battles can be vicious. I thought I was ready for anything. Like her saying you're poor, inadequate, slovenly … a little bit fat, or -- YES, like that. But then we didn't know what to do, so the judge declared a recess. I'm always prepared for this eventuality. Batman or Boba Fett? What's your poison?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-06 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-06 Pub. Date: 2011-05-06
Image Number: 60511
Caption: Don't worry, Lemont. I'm prepared for whatever your evil ex's lawyer says. The can call you neglectful, say you're abusive, a terrorist, poor, inadequate and slovenly. And a little fat around -- I GET IT! But I'm prepared for anything! I've got rebuttals! I've got expert testimony! I've got -- Your honor, Ms. Dubois has never even heard of this man before. ... I've got poopy pants. Me too.
     
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