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Rudy Park

Comics about reading and readings.

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-30 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-30 Pub. Date: 2016-01-30
Image Number: 138318
Caption: In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school. If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without. When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to even the scales for you. You pushed them down in the dirt and stole those sandwiches on your own! I think I read about you in "Lord of the Flies."
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-21 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-21 Pub. Date: 2015-12-21
Image Number: 136902
Caption: You never told me what you thought of 'Star Wars.' I was waiting. For what? For the consensus. My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict. If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-21 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-21 Pub. Date: 2015-11-21
Image Number: 135393
Caption: I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-24 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-24 Pub. Date: 2015-10-24
Image Number: 134165
Caption: Did you hear Playboy's not going to show revealing photos anymore? What's Playboy? House of Java.net Cybercafe. Oh, right. Let me guess: You've never heard of it. Or maybe you have, but you've only read it for the articles. The only thing sadder than you telling those old jokes is if you really don't know ... Is it like Google?
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-14 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-14 Pub. Date: 2015-10-14
Image Number: 133872
Caption: Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-13 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-13 Pub. Date: 2015-09-13
Image Number: 131663
Caption: Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the muscle. When you run out of that, you start slicing every last molecule of bone you can. The goal is to see if you can maximize your profits while running on pure marrow. That, my minion, is the holy grail. I call it The Tao of Armstrong. Armstrong Maynard. If I can ever figure out how to cut the marrow, I will have touched the face of god. Everyone has their own religion.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-11 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-11 Pub. Date: 2015-09-11
Image Number: 132288
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in educational programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never even opened.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-28 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-28 Pub. Date: 2015-08-28
Image Number: 131661
Caption: What's that? It's called a "book." It's what normal people read in pursuit of wisdom, education or titillating escapism. It doesn't light up, or beep, or do any of the dumb things you kids today seem to need. That's kind of harsh. No, that's the title of my memoirs. I've been published! ... Care to hear the subtitle?
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-26 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-26 Pub. Date: 2015-08-26
Image Number: 131659
Caption: What're you reading? You've been reading that all day. Oh, nothing much … Just a printout of all your most humiliating Facebook posts, "likes" and conversations, which have all become exposed to the world because you never updated your privacy settings. I'll be performing a dramatic reading of the most damaging ones on my radio show. I'll begin with the bed-wetting status update. Yes! I've gone multimedia!
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-21 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-21 Pub. Date: 2015-08-21
Image Number: 131354
Caption: A smart reader would get a Kindle and have thousands of books on just one device. A book is a universe. The goal, my dim nemesis, is to lose yourself in that universe. While reading, nothing should exist outside of you and the book. Having several other books just a tap away ruins the intimacy of the reading experience. That's the problem with your generation. As readers, you're all philandering hussies.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-02 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-02 Pub. Date: 2015-08-02
Image Number: 129606
Caption: I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Our closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What we should do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that immediately fill you with joy. Almond Joy. Joy Behar. The human mind is much like a closet. To be truly happy, we must eliminate any unnecessary thoughts that don't bring us joy. I meditate every morning to ensure all my thoughts are profitable. It's important to focus. My next car might be a yellow Ford Focus.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-11 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-11 Pub. Date: 2015-06-11
Image Number: 128139
Caption: I've read fifteen books in the last three months, Randy. What? You? Read? Books were invented 5 thousand years ago, little buddy … and I thought if a technology was created prior to the year 2000, you weren't interested. That is my motto. But Amazon's new Kindle Voyage e-reader is cutting-edge tech. HOJ. I don't know, little buddy, it sounds like a dangerous paradox to me. I have been having nightmares about the Ghostbusters crossing the streams.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-14 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-14 Pub. Date: 2015-05-14
Image Number: 126890
Caption: Facebook is an awesome thing but it's got one big flaw that makes it really horrible and dangerous. What's that, little buddy? If you have a public fan page, you can't block a stalker from reading it and posting to it. You can "ban" them from seeing your personal profile, but they can still see your fan page. it's downright criminal that Facebook allows that to happen. Why on earth do you have a "fan page"? Just 'cause no one knows who I am doesn't mean I'm not famous.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-16 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-16 Pub. Date: 2015-04-16
Image Number: 125627
Caption: I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought it off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-15 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-15 Pub. Date: 2015-04-15
Image Number: 125626
Caption: I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But … but … but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great Scott … it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I meant "Whatever. See you around."
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-14 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-14 Pub. Date: 2015-04-14
Image Number: 125625
Caption: Little buddy, you asked me to make sure you're following every step in "Randy's Guide to Being an Alpha Male." Go away, Randy! Have you read chapter 14? It's called "Yes, they are noticing how long you spend in the john." GO AWAY! A decisive man has decisive bowels. GO AWAY!
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-18 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-18 Pub. Date: 2015-03-18
Image Number: 124316
Caption: Please help, I'm in turmoil. What is it, my son? Apple and Google are competing vigorously. Yes, the war of the patron saints. As it was foretold. What? You knew this was going to happen?! I read analyst reports. I'm not a dolt. Computer Villa.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-15 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-15 Pub. Date: 2015-02-15
Image Number: 122187
Caption: I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's all part of my best-selling "MAN-ual" series.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-13 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-13 Pub. Date: 2015-02-13
Image Number: 122756
Caption: Haven't your eyes gotten tired of reading after 150 years? If you're waiting for that to get a rise out of me … you'll be waiting longer than your impatient, addle-brained, flimsy, flighty, plastic, flashing, tweeting, beeping and booping attention-deficit-disordered generation is capable of waiting. You might as well pull up a chair. Get cozy. I wasn't listening to what you just said, but I'm calling you old! I'll respond to that when I've finished this chapter.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-06 read 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-06 Pub. Date: 2014-12-06
Image Number: 119728
Caption: Okay, dictation monkey, can you read back to me my Hypochondriac's Handbook Rules To Live By? Not really. While you were talking, I was pretending to type what you said, but I was actually playing a video game on my phone. I can't strangle you because I don't want to touch your cold-and-flu ridden corpus. One of those moments I just relish.
     
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