1. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2019-11-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-22 |
Image Number: |
180495 |
Caption: |
Randy, the Christmas ghosts have me thinking. I feel conflicted. My stinginess has long-term implications for our economic stability. If we create huge income disparity, then we might someday face a revolution that will undo us all. On the other hand, I should be able to afford weapons to decimate the poor, unwashed rebels. Oh, conflict. Gotta get better ghosts.
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2. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2019-09-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-27 |
Image Number: |
179531 |
Caption: |
You're right. I know I'm addicted to my iPhone. I know I buy a lot of apps. I do it because I'm bored. If I don’t do this, I'll ask Randy for dating tips. Or play a joke on Sadie, or pester Darlene, or ask Armstrong for a raise. Where did everyone go? What about my intervention? Thwack!
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3. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2019-06-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-27 |
Image Number: |
178264 |
Caption: |
You played Xbox 360 with another woman?! Who?! Whom. What? The proper phrasing of the question is: With whom did you play 360? Whom has been advising you?!!! Randy. He said the grammar bit could backfire.
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4. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2019-06-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-16 |
Image Number: |
178108 |
Caption: |
You ever have a nickname? Not really. Too bad. Usually nicknames are terms of endearment. If you have one, it means people like you. Randy's got one. If I'm not mistaken, his meathead football friends call him The Rock. I guess that's true. No biggie. I'm sure people just didn't get around to giving you one. Whatever. What if we call you The Spendinator? Means: Miserable indebted failure who lacks soul in an endearing way. Old bag, you played this one beautifully.
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5. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2019-03-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-03-02 |
Image Number: |
176514 |
Caption: |
Randy, you're going to represent Rudy in our private relationship matter? I've been retained. That's outrageous. He can speak for himself. He has. By choosing me as his representative. So you're his stand-in. Well, what if I feel like giving Rudy a big kiss right now? Hey! What's good for the goose, baby. I may lower my fee.
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6. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-12-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-13 |
Image Number: |
175400 |
Caption: |
Randy "The Rock" Taylor's new unified theory of picking up chicks: You've got 20 seconds to get her attention before an email, text, phone call or tweet interrupts. Hey babe. I've got huge biceps, a sweet hybrid with fold-down seats and an iTunes collection with the year's hottest smoochin' music. Beep! Hold that thought. I've got an incoming call. Interesting. Make that fifteen seconds! Pardon? Were you talking? Wait, incoming text.
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7. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-11-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-02 |
Image Number: |
174751 |
Caption: |
I've been reduced to extreme measures. Randy? Is that you? This is the only way to prevent myself from hitting on gals. I can't be allowed to see or smell them. Of for them to see or hear me: My strong but tender hands, the lips that whisper like a gentle ocean breeze, the ... Oh, no! My turn-of-phrase is too sexy to be contained by a shroud! An ocean breeze with bad coffee breath.
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8. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-09-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-09-21 |
Image Number: |
174110 |
Caption: |
Which one of you devils sabotaged my television coverage? Randy, I know it wasn't you because you're too stupid to figure that out. Wrong! Really? You fell for that? Stupid, no; egoistic, to a fault.
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9. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-07-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-07-09 |
Image Number: |
172759 |
Caption: |
Still no word from Mort? Nothing. Are you worried. Worried? Am I worried that Mort's lost somewhere on a van trip with vagrants like Rudy and Randy? Am I worried? Actually, what I'm think I'm feeling is hunger. Well, I'm worried! No Rudy means no service! |
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10. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-06-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-06-09 |
Image Number: |
172100 |
Caption: |
What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
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11. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-05-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-05-22 |
Image Number: |
171807 |
Caption: |
Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with another man's wife, and he found out. We're all supposed to go to the same party next week. But now that he knows … should I still go? Of course. Never run away. But what if he confronts me in front of everyone? I'd be so embarrasses. Just keep repeating Randy's seven golden man-words" I don't know what you're talking about.
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12. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-05-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-05-16 |
Image Number: |
171509 |
Caption: |
You'll never guess what happened, Randy. What's that? The cryptocurrency I created exploded last night. People are mining and trading like crazy. There are only 100 million Rudycoing in existence, and once they're gone, they're gone. Guess what I did? I bought you 1,000 of them before the public caught wind of it. Now you 1,000 coins are worth $15,000 each. I have not idea what any of that means, but it sounds like you're single-handedly destroying the whole world's economy. Once Rudycoins are all taken, I'm going to start Flippercoin. It's names after my goldfish.
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13. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-04-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-20 |
Image Number: |
170596 |
Caption: |
How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
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14. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-04-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-02 |
Image Number: |
170204 |
Caption: |
Today's lesson for the lustful man is called Do As the Ladies Do. Part One: The Look. If you spot someone who's super-hot, don't stare. Look away and watch her using your peripheral vision only. You'll find peripheral vision exercises on page 47 of my new book: How to survive and thrive in the #Metoo era. It's the latest in my best-selling Randy's MANuals series. Available in bookstores and mancaves near you.
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15. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-03-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-29 |
Image Number: |
169900 |
Caption: |
Guess what else I found on Youtube, Randy? Evidence Vladimir Putin is an immortal. There are two photos of soldiers who look exactly like Putin, taken in 1941 and way back in 1920. Exactly like him. Could be they're related. The notion of genetics is a huge conspiracy by the immortals. I found that out on Youtube.
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16. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-03-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-22 |
Image Number: |
169641 |
Caption: |
I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.
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17. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-03-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-08 |
Image Number: |
169198 |
Caption: |
Donald Trump said he'd have run into that school shooting without a gun to stop it. I'm way ahead of you, Randy. I've already developed a first-person shooter based on the Call of Duty engine. You play Trump, all decked out in his usual black suit and red power tie. Video-game Trump has to personally take out all of America's enemies. He's armed with nothing but his uncouth tweets. Game has a bug, though. As soon as it starts, video-game Trump keeps getting deferments because of bone spurs. Call of deferments has a ring to it.
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18. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-03-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-05 |
Image Number: |
169195 |
Caption: |
Hey, little buddy. Did you know that men often confuse a heart attack with a bout of constipation. Go away, Randy! That's why so many men who croak from heart attacks are found in the loo. Go away! The first responders are on their way. I haven't been in here that long!
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19. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-02-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-02-27 |
Image Number: |
168934 |
Caption: |
Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm tired of holding my girlfriend's purse while she's shopping. How do I get out of doing that? Simple. Lose her purse. But wouldn't she be mad at me? I'd be in the dog house! Dog house is just the codependent man's way of saying man cave.
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20. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
Viewable Date: |
2018-02-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-02-06 |
Image Number: |
168187 |
Caption: |
I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
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