1. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2019-08-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-10 |
Image Number: |
178911 |
Caption: |
R. Kelly's crisis manager said he wouldn't leave his teenage daughter alone with him, an' then quit. Wait a second … a big PR agency just quit representing one of the private border camps where migrants are being mistreated. Could it be the country's actually growing a conflux? ... I mean, a concave? ... I mean, a conglomerate? The word conscience ain't been used much lately. it'll come to me!!!
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2. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2018-10-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-02 |
Image Number: |
174289 |
Caption: |
I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
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3. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2018-10-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-01 |
Image Number: |
174288 |
Caption: |
Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
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4. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2018-05-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-05-28 |
Image Number: |
171945 |
Caption: |
Would you be disappointed in me if I agreed to create an ad campaign for the NRA? Of course not. In fact, I have an idea. Why don't you do an ad about how the NRA saved us all from smart gun technology that would've made sure only authorized users could fire a gun. I mean, that tech alone would've prevented most school shooting. Thank got the NRA put a stop to that. I really hate sarcasm Mondays. We really dodged the dodge-a-bullet bullet thanks to them.
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5. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2018-04-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-23 |
Image Number: |
170819 |
Caption: |
Starbucks HQ. Can I help you? I'm Lemont Brown, with Candorville.com. I have an appointment to interview your CEO about how one of your stores had two black men arrested for doing what white people do all the time. Are you sure you don't have an appointment with our black COO? She's the on our PR guys say should handle this. I'm sure. Oh, I'm also gonna ask him about the other store that didn't let the black guy use the bathroom 'cause he's black. I really think you should speak with our black COO.
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6. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2016-09-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-23 |
Image Number: |
148765 |
Caption: |
"Fraud: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn't. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "Prison: A building in which people are legally held as a ... " Never mind, it was just an idea.
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7. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2016-09-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-22 |
Image Number: |
148764 |
Caption: |
Sir, Concast Cable's interested in an ad campaign that'll soften up their image in advance of this mega-merger. When people think of their purchase of Slime-Warmer Cable, Concast wants them to think of a mom-and-pop store … and not a corporate behemoth that's going to slash thousands of jobs, create a monopoly and eventually jack up prices. This'll be tough. On the bright side, we get to charge them the "utter (censored)" fee. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002.
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8. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2013-06-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-06-12 |
Image Number: |
97911 |
Caption: |
Justice Department. Hi, I'm Lemont Brown, with The Candorville Courier. I'm covering the government-spying-on-reporters'-emails story. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Brown. I'm Bryan Bryant. I'm in charge of convincing you it's no big deal. Pleased to meet you, too. |
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9. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-12-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-12-07 |
Image Number: |
31625 |
Caption: |
What makes you think you deserve a promotion, Garcia? I'm glad you asked, sir. Since you merged my creative department with PR, I've been doing the work of three people. And here's a detailed analysis showing I brought in 82% of our business last year. Yes, but on the other hand, there's evidence you're terrible for office morale. What evidence? I feel lousy. (Published originally on 2009-04-15) |
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10. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2011-04-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-04-04 |
Image Number: |
59396 |
Caption: |
Garcia, do you think it was professional of you to grab our eighth biggest client by the scruff of his neck and throw him down the mail chute? Is this a trick question, sir? No it's not a trick question. Abercrombie & Fitch wanted us to devise an ad campaign for their push-up bikini top for seven-year-olds. Good point. Seven-year-olds don't have a lot of cash, anyway. Exac ... no, that's not ... Dios mio. |
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11. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-03-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-03-26 |
Image Number: |
45426 |
Caption: |
Dick, I want you to track down Mr. Fitzhugh and find out why he's interviewing people to replace me! Dick? What are you doing? You're my assistant. Shouldn't you be at your desk assisting me? So anyway, sir … that's why I think I would make a good Director of Advertising/PR. Are you interviewing people to replace your boss? what would give you that idea? So when do I start? |
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12. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-03-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-03-25 |
Image Number: |
45425 |
Caption: |
Hello, little lady … can I help you? How'd you get into my office? Hahahah, how cute … this is MY office! Impressed? This is the Director of Advertising/PR's office. Yes, I know. That's ME. You're just a little hysterical. I'm the new DAPR. Get it? "Dapper"? Short for "Director of --" I GET IT! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!! |
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13. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-03-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-03-22 |
Image Number: |
45422 |
Caption: |
Hi, I'm here for my interview. Interview? For the "Director of Advertising/PR" position. Where do interviews happen? Usually down the hall, last door. Thanks. No problem. Wait … that's MY job! |
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14. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-01-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-01-07 |
Image Number: |
42639 |
Caption: |
At the ad agency, Susan meets with Fox "News" … "Why won't you people (hic) lishun ta me?" The Crazy Guy in an Alley Show. Itsh very simple: gays want to fight in the armArmy. You know who hash arms? Alligators. Alligatorsh live in Florida. Cuba is near Florida. Florida is home to Cape Kennedy! Clearly, John F. Kennedy was behind the gay conshpiracy to convert our alligators to Communishm. I don't think I can sell this. We have to top "Glenn Beck" somehow. Am i the only one who sees this, pePeople? |
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15. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-01-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-01-06 |
Image Number: |
42638 |
Caption: |
Fear, Inc. I called you all here because the Fox "News" division is blowing you all out of the water. Figmond Trip, I'm looking at you. Your tea party division especially was a serious disappointment. Sir, I don't think that's fair. I mean, Mr. Armey and Ms. Bachmann had no chance against Fox's O'Reilly and Hannity. I mean, the three-legged race is stacked in their favor. Hannity's inhumanly quick. I suspect steroids, if you wanna know the truth. ... Um, we're not talking about last week's picnic, are we. Sit down, Figmond. |
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16. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-01-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-01-04 |
Image Number: |
42636 |
Caption: |
Fear Inc. We were a little worried, what with the way it started. But 2009 turned out to be a good year. Fear, Inc. Great, in fact. Yeah, "Obama's a secret Muslim" went nowhere … But "Obama wants to kill Grandma" performed well in the third quarter. Turned things around for us. First quarter wasn't all bad, sir. "Quick, give the banks all our cash or Western civilization will crumble tomorrow" flew off the shelves. True. |
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17. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-18 |
Image Number: |
41949 |
Caption: |
… So I'm sick and tired of all this talk about Tiger Woods! He's just a guy who can hit a ball with a stick! He has no impact on my life or yours! For the love of God, somebody explain to me why the media thinks I care that Tiger Woods has a couple chicks on the side! Um ... actually, what I asked was, "Are you aware your best friend, Lemont is missing and no one's seen him for weeks?" And I thought the alleged mistress count was up to eight. Nine. ... What? |
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18. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-17 |
Image Number: |
41948 |
Caption: |
At the ad agency … I don't need you anyway … … My CD of Tiger Woods jokes practically markets itself! Listen … Nike won't drop Tiger Woods even after learning about all his hot, steamy extramarital affairs. That ain't surprising. After all … It's not like this is Nike's first experience with sweatshops! OUT. Too political? |
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19. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-16 |
Image Number: |
41947 |
Caption: |
Today, at the ad agency. I'm sorry, Mr. Gold, we don't create ad campaigns for free. You misunderstand! I'm offering you something far more valuable than any "fee." I'm offering you a 10% back-end royalty! When I sell just the first 10 million "jokes about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife" CDs, you'll rake in a cool $50K, easy. Out. But it's a gold mine! |
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20. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-06-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-06-23 |
Image Number: |
35435 |
Caption: |
At the advertising agency … I'll be honest, little goil … I ain't too good at dis whatchacall … modern thinking. Fear, Inc.'s been tryin' ta scare the bejeezus outta people about this there "university healthcare" plan. "Universal." "Socialized Medicine" is too "old-fashioned," the bigwigs said. They want me to be more "modern," more, whachacall ... "Fear-forward." You've come to the right pl-- We'll use "Harry an' Louise." They're the latest thing. |
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