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Candorville

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41. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-17 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-17 Pub. Date: 2010-10-17
Image Number: 53007
Caption: Kelly called me last week, said she was coming to town that week to visit me. I was so happy … I stayed home all week. But she never came. I called her and e-mailed her, but she didn't answer. She finally called me this morning. Did you cave in and let her sweet-talk you? ... Or did you take what you learned in therapy and tell her that after all these months of jerking you around ... ... you deserved better than to be stood dup, and that you never want to hear from her again? What was option A again? Fascinating.
     
42. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-03 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-03 Pub. Date: 2010-10-03
Image Number: 52457
Caption: So, what brings you to therapy? I'm arrogant. They all tell me so … my sister, my associates and other losers. I don’t want to answer any useless therapist questions. I just want to know one thing … Will the losers think I'm less arrogant if I travel to the third world and adopt a famine-baby? Because if not, I'd rather not waste my time. That's disgusting. You're right. Why should I care what losers think.
     
43. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-26 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-26 Pub. Date: 2010-09-26
Image Number: 52197
Caption: I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. Ok … Good … Lemont, how do you feel about what it just said? IT'S B.S.!!! Don't I spend a whole hour every day just listening to you and gazing into you? He used to spend four hours a day doing that. But now he spends most of his time with the internet. I can't deal with this jealousy! It's like he gives the internet a meal. And all I get are crumbs. I bet he's thinking about his iPhone right now. I AM! ... NOT! I AM NOT!
     
44. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-29 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-29 Pub. Date: 2010-08-29
Image Number: 51242
Caption: I think I'm starting to get over Kelly, Doc. The seven times she broke up with me are starting to sink in. Seven … I'm already forgetting what I loved about her. Anyway, I'm forgetting her big brown eyes that simmer like the moonlight. I no longer recall her voice, as smooth as silk sheets and as melodious as a songbird ... I've forgotten how her skin was the color of mocha and smelled like lavender, and how her lips tasted like butterscotch candy. I'm glad to see you're making progress. Does that mean you think she'll call me again?
     
45. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-14 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-14 Pub. Date: 2010-08-14
Image Number: 50723
Caption: I think they're better, vindictive, and trying to destroy my self-confidence. That's the only way to explain how they come on to me … make me think it's a sure thing … And then the second I apply myself and try to et them, they turn me down flat. It's natural to think women are toying with you. Women? I'm talking about the credit card companies.
     
46. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-08 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-08 Pub. Date: 2010-08-08
Image Number: 50410
Caption: My mom and dad used to point out a person's ethnicity for no reason. Every joke or story would start with that. Like "So this one Korean dude asked me for the time at the bus stop today." Or "So this one Mexican cat told me there's a sale on records down on Broadway." What did ethnicity have to do with anything? It's like they tossed in random, unhelpful observations ... ... because they didn't really have anything interesting or insightful to say. You don't think it's insightful of me to point out that you always change the subject? That's so random!
     
47. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-11 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-11 Pub. Date: 2010-07-11
Image Number: 49489
Caption: I think I realized what went wrong between Kelly and me. I realized it after seeing "Up in the Air," that movie with George Clooney. Clooney's character had a fling with some chick, but when Clooney tried to turn that into something lasting … she shut him down. Kicked him to the curb. Because she already had a real life, and she only wanted this fling when it was a momentary escape from that. So what did this make you realize? That I'm paying way too much for therapy. Fascinating. You don't even give me popcorn.
     
48. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-04 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-04 Pub. Date: 2010-07-04
Image Number: 49076
Caption: So, tell me about your mother. Why? For some reason, you won't let go of Kelly, even though she's not treating you the way you want. So the question is, why wont' you let go? What are you holding on to so desperately? What are you so afraid of losing? Because it's not HER. It's something your mother failed to give you. You felt like you got it from Kelly. But she's not giving it to you. She's just like your mother. We spend our lives dating our mothers. Speak for yourself, sicko.
     
49. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-06 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-06 Pub. Date: 2010-06-06
Image Number: 48018
Caption: Kelly told me she needs "space," Doc. Hm. Tell me again about her stalkers. Well, there was the guy from high school … then this guy at work … then this other guy, Ron. They had a relationship. But he just couldn't let go, always calling her, trying harder and harder to get her back. Delusional fool couldn't take a hint. For years he'd call and call and call. Ok ... now ... tell me again what Kelly used to ask you? "If I got nervous and ran, would you follow me?" She would ask me that all the time, and smile when I finally said "yes." ... Fascinating. This might be a test. Maybe I should call her.
     
50. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-23 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-23 Pub. Date: 2010-05-23
Image Number: 47477
Caption: Things were going so well with Kelly. We started off texting. But we grew so close that we couldn't bear to be apart. I drove 400 miles up north to see her. It was magical, like she and I were the only people in the whole universe. So I drove back up the next month. She was busy but I got to see her for a couple of hours. We were so deeply in love! Did she ever drive down to see you? Um ... why do you ask? Fascinating. So I drove up a third time ...
     
51. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-16 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-16 Pub. Date: 2010-05-16
Image Number: 47227
Caption: So how are things with you and Kelly? (sigh) Fine. What was that? What was what? You sighed. That means you're suppressing an emotion. Probably sadness or a sense of futility. Are you sure, Doc? Are you sure I'm not just involuntarily drawing in air to cool down my internal organs? I mean. my ovaries have been kinda hot lately. You don't have ovaries. Kelly does.
     
52. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-02 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-02 Pub. Date: 2010-05-02
Image Number: 46759
Caption: Since you're new to therapy, I'll tell you the ground rules. Since you're new to therapy, I'll tell you the ground rules. What you say is just between us, unless you tell me about abuse or you threaten someone. What you say is just between us, unless you tell me about abuse or you threaten someone. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Stop that. Stop that. I think we can dispense with me asking why you're seeking therapy. I think we can dispense with me asking why you're seeking therapy.
     
53. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-25 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-25 Pub. Date: 2010-04-25
Image Number: 46588
Caption: … So there I was in the underpants aisle, when I saw him! It was my shrink! Buying underpants! We made eye contact! I know we made eye contact! But he totally ignored me. I mean yeah, when I first went to therapy he said he'd ignore me if we ever crossed paths outside this safe room, but c'mon! But then I realized, maybe this shrink did me a favor by being so incredibly rude to me. Being ignored is my worst fear, and he made me face it. He cured me of my problem ... ... By being a complete jerk-ward. I see. Fascinating. But you started therapy to be cured of your passive-aggressiveness. Turns out the world needs jerk-wads.
     
54. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-24 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-24 Pub. Date: 2010-04-24
Image Number: 46587
Caption: So, how are you two getting along? Very well. Dr. Noodle Couple's Counseling. I discovered a cable news channel that sees the world exactly as I do. So now when I turn HER on, she never challenges me with inconvenient facts. Or ratings … I mean, our relationship ... is stronger than ever.
     
55. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-23 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-23 Pub. Date: 2010-04-23
Image Number: 46586
Caption: There were some black slave owners, so slavery is not a black/white issue. If white people hadn't bought slaves, there'd have been NO slave owners. If Africans hadn't SOLD slaves, there'd have been no slave owners. Can we agree there's blame on both sides? NO! Hey, we agreed on something.
     
56. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-22 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-22 Pub. Date: 2010-04-22
Image Number: 46585
Caption: Ok … What was the Civil War about, if not slavery? You don't really want to know; you're just patronizing me. Fine, don't tell me! Well since you asked … It was about people defending their homes against an oppressive, distant government. … That wanted to abolish slavery. Minor detail. YOU SEE WHAT I'M WORKING WITH?!
     
57. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-21 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-21 Pub. Date: 2010-04-21
Image Number: 46584
Caption: The Civil War was not about slavery. YES IT WAS! Hold on, Lemont … Couple's therapy only works if you each allow the other to freely express yourselves. Don't dismiss what your partner says; validate it. Then you say how it makes you feel. The Civil War was NOT about slavery. I see. Ok. That makes ME feel like you're a complete moron.
     
58. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-20 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-20 Pub. Date: 2010-04-20
Image Number: 46437
Caption: The Civil War was not about slavery. It was about patriots fighting for limited government. (Click.) You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, Doctor. That green-blooded son of a BEEP! It's his revenge for all those arguments we lost. Turn it back to CNN, Lemont. Not until she starts making sense! Lemont, this is not the way -- (Click). I AM YOUR FATHER! I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!
     
59. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-19 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-19 Pub. Date: 2010-04-19
Image Number: 46436
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Couple's Counseling. I think she's crazy. Sometimes she says things that just make no sense. The Civil War was not about slavery .. We're going to have to schedule extra sessions. Lose weight without exercising.
     
60. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-21 psychiatric 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-21 Pub. Date: 2010-03-21
Image Number: 45150
Caption: I've fallen in love with another woman. But my wife and I have so much history. This other woman, Kelly, makes me happy. And that makes me miserable! Nobody but my wife should make me happy. What kind of sick jerk am I to allow another woman to make me happy! But things just aren't like they used to be with my wife. We don't have the same spark we used to have. Hmmm ... I see. Should I move on, doc? Considering your wife left you for another man eight months ago, that might not be a bad idea. You don't think it's too soon?
     
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