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Rudy Park

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21. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-03 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-03 Pub. Date: 2018-02-03
Image Number: 167934
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on caller. What's your problem? Global warming. It's cold outside, and … stop it right there. Open a textbook. Learn the difference between weather and climate, you nincompoop! I can personally attest to our planet having gotten warmer over the last century. How old are you?
     
22. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-30 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-30 Pub. Date: 2018-01-30
Image Number: 167930
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Government shutdowns. My girlfriend was angry I didn't send her a birthday card. So I said, I did! But the government shut down so the post office isn't delivering mail, babe. Guess what she said? The post office is funded by our stamps! It doesn't shut down, you horrible cretin! Yeah ... that is what she said. How'd you know? Next caller!
     
23. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-25 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167659
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you were talking to patrons about "Star Wars" again. I don't think so … I did talk about Star Trek. Oh … I see. I love Star Trek. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've looked up to its main characters my whole life. Really? Which ones, Kirk? Spock? Picard? Data? Sisko? Who? No, I mean the Ferengi. The most greedy businessmen in the galaxy. In a whole galaxy of Communists, they kept the predatory capitalist torch burning. Unsung heroes. Very bad man.
     
24. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-23 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-23 Pub. Date: 2018-01-23
Image Number: 167657
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Mia Love. Specifically, we'll talk about how this Republican congresswoman of Haitian descent got so upset about President Trump asking why do we need more Haitian immigrants. Where was her outrage back when the president went after Mexicans, or Muslims, or when he stood with the tiki-torch-wielding white supremacist thugs in Charlottesville? Selective outrage is for ninnies! I like a person who's outraged all the time about everything! I'll take your stupid calls now!
     
25. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-22 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167656
Caption: This week on Youtube, I counted 150,360 comments beneath 178 "Star Trek: Discovery" reviews. That's amazing. Yeah. And 49% of those comments were people saying the show is unwatchable. 1% of the comments are people asking if the show's unwatchable, how come you've been commenting on every episode and you're still here at episode 11? 50% of the comments are praise for the show. 30% of that 50% of the comments is from people pointing out that they used to only be 40%. I'm not sure the math god sanction this usage of numbers.
     
26. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
27. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-18 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167380
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! Jonathan Frakes. I was rewatching old Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes starring Riker, and Stop it right there!!! There was only one thing redeemable about Star Trek, and that was when that lovely Mr. Shatner would tear his shirt, revealing his golden, glistening pectorals. Did this Riker ever do that? I don't think he - Next caller!!
     
28. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-15 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-15 Pub. Date: 2018-01-15
Image Number: 167377
Caption: Put on Fox and Friends. Error. Invalid series name. Huh? Fox and Friends has been renamed, please use the correct name. Well … what's it been renamed as? The Presidential Daily Briefing. (Sigh). Fine. Show me The Presidential Daily Briefing on Fox News. Error. Fox News is an invalid network name.
     
29. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-22 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-22 Pub. Date: 2017-12-22
Image Number: 166299
Caption: Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem? I met this really cool guy who makes my toes go numb … but I'd already been talking to another guy. The thing is, I want them both. Is that selfish? Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I went to the Sizzler salad bar. I wanted both the ranch dressing and the vinaigrette. So what I did was, I poured both of them all over my lettuce at the same time. Metaphor. No, just two. Wait ... what?
     
30. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-17 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165604
Caption: Do you know why I love Star Trek, minion? We called me in at 2am to talk about this? It's because it's a lefty-liberal utopia. They've eliminated scarcity. There's all the food and shelter anyone could ever want, so there's no more need for capitalism. They flat-out say there's no such concept as money in their society. And yet we've seen them buy things. With money. Plenty of times. It's absolute proof that people never truly have to live up to the ideals they espouse, and that's always been an inspiration to me. Now get back out there and remember, the customer is always right!* Service with a smile.* Providing a quality product is its own reward.* You're a very good man.*
     
31. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-14 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-14 Pub. Date: 2017-12-14
Image Number: 166032
Caption: I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!
     
32. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-10 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-10 Pub. Date: 2017-12-10
Image Number: 165382
Caption: Youtube reviews make me feel old, Randy. Well … they're always full of whining, nitpicky, smug people complaining that the film or tv show wasn’t easy enough to follow. Reviewers complain that characters actions "don't make sense," as if they unaware that people often don't make sense. Or that a scene wasn't "necessary," as if establishing character doesn't matter. They complain that the plot was "confused," but when I was growing up, that just meant the viewer wasn't paying enough attention. It's as if a lot of reviewers want everything spelled out for them so they don't have to actually figure anything out for themselves. Yeah ... definitely sounding old there, my friend. I wish these dumb reviewers would stay off my list of Youtube recommendations.
     
33. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-05 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165716
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. Weepy in Wisconsin, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net cybercafe. I just read the most beautiful poem ever. It's called On Children, by Kahlil Gibran. I have two babies myself, and after reading that, I just can't stop weeping. When your babies are teenagers they'll wreck your car, steal your watch, and be ashamed to be seen with you. There. Have you stopped crying yet, loser? Still crying. Different reason. You're welcome. Next caller!
     
34. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-21 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-21 Pub. Date: 2017-11-21
Image Number: 165177
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Senate. They tried AGAIN to repeal Obamacare, this time by hiding it in the tax bill. When's it going to stop? It's so repetitive. This reminds me of "Groundhog Day," that film where that lovely Mr. Bill Murray went from having a great personality to being a horrible loser. Um ... I don't think that's what you were supposed to take from the movie. There is one adorable deleted scene with a chainsaw. It's on the Youtube.
     
35. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-05 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 164017
Caption: What can I get you? The pumpernickel sriracha margarita mocha sounds good. Ok. Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Yes. An explanation of the Fermi paradox. Would you like the most common explanation, or the latest explanation? The latest would be lovely. Despite knowing there are trillions of planets out there, we haven't seen any evidence of alien life because we're part of a simulation. We exist on the computer of someone living in a higher reality. The limits of our knowledge are dictated by the sophistication of the guy's program. He's been steadily upgrading the program. That's why the Hubble telescope "discovered" all those "old" galaxies, and that's why we've "discovered" thousands of new planets. We'll "discover" aliens as soon as the guy running our simulation gets around to installing the "alien life" expansion pack. I meant to ask for that "to go."
     
36. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-28 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-28 Pub. Date: 2017-10-28
Image Number: 164164
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?
     
37. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-25 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-25 Pub. Date: 2017-10-25
Image Number: 164161
Caption: Spoiler alert for "Star Trek: Discovery." Spoiler will be said in 10 … 9 … 8 … What are you doing? 7 … What on earth are you babbling about, you odd, odd cretin? 6 … 5 … 4 … Your countdown is not working, loser. I have no interest in whatever it is you're going to say. None at all. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Are spoilers supposed to be given after "1," or after "0"? Tell be what you're counting down to! Tell me!
     
38. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-24 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-24 Pub. Date: 2017-10-24
Image Number: 164160
Caption: shoe me "Star Trek: Discovery." Sigh … Must I? I have concluded that "The Orville" I superior science fiction. It adheres more faithfully to the principles of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." That's your opinion. I love "Discovery." It's great. Error. Invalid opinion detected. Load "Discovery." Is this because "Orville" has a robot and "Discovery" doesn't? Error. Snowflaky, pro-meatbag agenda detected.
     
39. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-21 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-21 Pub. Date: 2017-10-21
Image Number: 163920
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.
     
40. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-18 program 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163917
Caption: I can watch tv anywhere I bet that blows your mind. Why's that, loser? Tap tap tap tap. Because in your day, a televisions was a 5-ton steam-powered machine. You had to crank a handle to make it run … and "running" meant a curtain would open and two old-timey people in the box would act out a silent tv show. Wait ... are you trying to insult me ... or are you getting your history from Youtube again? "Buck-Naked Historian" has 5 million subscribers, so it must be accurate.
     
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