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Rudy Park

Comics about profits and profiting.

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Result page:    2  Next  (38 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-10-13 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-10-13 Pub. Date: 2019-10-13
Image Number: 179831
Caption: Mort, I seek your counsel with a political question. Zoinks. Should this country's health care system permit easier access to birth control? Hmm. Before I give you a long-winded, six-part answer, let me first compliment you - of all people - on caring enough to ask about these complex issues. Thank you. It is so complex. When people have babies, they get exhausted and they need more coffee. But they also tend to stay at home so they may make their own coffee and not buy it from me. If you got some chick preggers, would you buy more of my java? Part one: You're a cheat @#$%!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-09-26 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-09-26 Pub. Date: 2019-09-26
Image Number: 179530
Caption: Rudy, you're addicted to you iPhone. You've spent $4,256.99 on apps. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're averaging 22 apps per day. You wake up in the middle of the night to buy them. You were mentioned favorably in Apple's quarterly earnings! Thwack! Hee hee.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-11 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-11 Pub. Date: 2019-07-11
Image Number: 178475
Caption: I just looked at our books. We could go into the red this month. The red. Calm down. I haven't been unprofitable since I was seven. Even my business loaning lunch money to poor 4th graders was profitable. I charged 12 percent, plus an origination fee. There's not time to reminisce about the glory days! Very bad man.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-09 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-09 Pub. Date: 2019-07-09
Image Number: 178473
Caption: Help me! I am unprofitable? This is why you are condemned to wear the red letter U. It can't be. I've raised prices, cut labor costs, I … wait … Isn't the letter supposed to be scarlet? You're in the red. Failed Capitalist.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-08 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-08 Pub. Date: 2019-05-08
Image Number: 177540
Caption: Some airlines are charging for coffee and water. Brilliant efficiency, but also a threat. To us? We're a café. They're finding new revenue streams. It's a challenge to all business to do better. Can we compete? I've got an idea. We will now start charging our patrons for airline travel! Am I a genius? Walk away slowly, hold on to wallet.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-07 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-07 Pub. Date: 2019-05-07
Image Number: 177539
Caption: Listen up, people! I'm just one person. The airlines have set a new bar for efficiency. They are charging captive passengers for water and coffee. It's genius. How can we compete? Can we charge for bathroom time, straws, napkins, silverware … Ooh, oxygen! Sort of exciting to see him inspired.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-06 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-06 Pub. Date: 2019-05-06
Image Number: 177507
Caption: Infuriating. What? The airlines are starting to charge for coffee, tea, water, even pillows and blankets. This upsets you? They are so cheap. So amazingly frugal. Charging for water - in a captive airplane! They're making me look terrible. We must raise our bar. Comprehension.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-19 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177236
Caption: I've been working here more than seven years. I'd like to talk about retirement benefits. I'd like a long-term contract. Ha ha. I wouldn't mind a dental plan and you know what else? Profit sharing! Hee hee, ho ho, ha ha. I really did just do it for the laughs. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-22 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-22 Pub. Date: 2018-10-22
Image Number: 174633
Caption: I'm out of ideas. I'm tapped out. Of what? I can't think of any ways to squeeze more money out of customers. I've lost my cheapskate muse! Return to me, creative Goddess of Frugality! This is just beyond weird.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-02 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171060
Caption: Did you clear all the homeless people out of the alley, minion? You were serious? They're people, not leaves. I can't just sweep them all away, boss. Housing is getting unaffordable. It's not their fault. Hmm … you may have a point, minion. They're a sign of the times. They lend the cafe authenticity. There must be a way to monetize them. Survey the customers. See how much they'd pay to take selfies with authentic 21st century Americans in the background. Very bad man.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-31 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-31 Pub. Date: 2018-03-31
Image Number: 169902
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3 a.m, we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-06 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-06 Pub. Date: 2018-01-06
Image Number: 166790
Caption: Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be? Insurance-Adjuster-Man. In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure. Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast. "Heroes" aren't in it for the money. Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance ...
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-29 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-29 Pub. Date: 2017-10-29
Image Number: 163866
Caption: I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up." It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Out closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What should we do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that immediately fill you with joy. Almond Joy. Joy Behar. The human mind is much like a closet. To be truly happy, we must eliminate any unnecessary thoughts that don't bring us joy. I meditate every morning to ensure all my thoughts are profitable. It's important to focus. My next car might be a yellow Ford Focus.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-20 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163919
Caption: Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-18 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158722
Caption: I forgot my phone at the hotel. How do I get to the planetarium? That depends on how much it's worth to you. What? What do you mean? Do you want the long way or the short way? Do you want the safe way through the cobblestone paths of Lily Pad Meadow … or do you want the treacherous way over the frigid Reaper Mountain Pass? Do you seriously expect me to pay for directions? Is that a serious question? This is America, where we have an obligation to turn a profit on every interaction, unless we're donating to charity for a tax write-off. Unless you're a 501-3c I have to charge you. It's in the Constitution. I only have $5 on me. I'll print out the treacherous directions for you. For an extra $1 I'll make sure it avoids most of the rabid grizzly squirrels.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-14 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-14 Pub. Date: 2016-09-14
Image Number: 148487
Caption: I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-14 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-14 Pub. Date: 2016-07-14
Image Number: 145831
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-16 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-16 Pub. Date: 2016-06-16
Image Number: 144577
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll double - no, triple - our sales. Not again. No, hear me out. This one's great. You know how we've been trying to figure out a way to keep customers from going to Coffee King? Yes. We've paid sweatshops in Foreignvania to post negative Yelp reviews ... We've planted rats in their kitchen ... and we've besmirched their name in many ways. Well here's my idea: why don't we try serving better coffee than them? Where's the fun in that?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-03 profit 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-03 Pub. Date: 2016-02-03
Image Number: 138612
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
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