I wish Mort were here. I need help with this. You can't open an envelope. It's the national radio society's annual prize results. Someone nominated me as Most Obnoxious and Caustic Talk Show of the Year. Great honor. I need Mort's moral support if I don't win. Naturally.
HAHA! I JUST WON THE LOTTERY! I, the wealthiest man in this café, have won the lottery! Can you believe it?! This just goes to show that the rich get richer, and the poor can't afford to boost their odds by buying dozens of lottery tickets. How much did you win? $5. But it's the principle that matters.