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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-12 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175377
Caption: Member how I watch your boy for you? Well, I need a favor too right quick. You want me to watch your pet pigeon? Nah, bruh … I want you to testify that you a voice actor I hired to sound like Nat King Cole, 'cause Nat King Cole people suing me for sampling him in my album. I'll watch your pigeon. All you gotta do is up sync to the testimony I recorded for you usin' Nat King Cole voice.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-08 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-08 Pub. Date: 2018-12-08
Image Number: 175267
Caption: I'd really like it if just once I could enjoy the holidays. On Christmas, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, I can't help but be angry that Emperor Augustus deported the Bethlehemians. On Easter, when people celebrate the resurrection, I can't help but mourn all the people Rome crucified. Bethlehemians? Don't even get me started on Kwanzaa.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-01 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-01 Pub. Date: 2018-12-01
Image Number: 175159
Caption: I've lived a very long time, dork-boy, and I've seen a lot of people die early. I know the signs. What are they? There are too many to tell you in the time we have left. Go out, Rudy. Dance. Smell the petunias … Today. I'm not falling for it. See the world. Well ... see the city, at least.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-18 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-18 Pub. Date: 2018-11-18
Image Number: 174714
Caption: It all started when I was a tiny kid. My grandpa made me get up on stage at the family reunion and sing. Dr. Noodle. He'd really built me up. Told everyone how great a singer I was. But when I looked out at the crowd of 200 or 300 people who were strangers to me ... I froze. The room was completely quiet and I saw 200 or 300 sets of eyes staring at me. Burrowing into my soul and holding me in contempt. I forgot all the words. I started to cry. And then I wet myself. The first step toward overcoming shyness is crawling out from beneath my couch. Never!!!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-11 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-11 Pub. Date: 2018-11-11
Image Number: 174713
Caption: How many people bought your new book, bruh? The Worlds Where They Never Stopped Minorities From Voting? So far it's doing well. I painstakingly went through every single election since ex-slaves won the right to vote … and matched polls and private journals with every recorded instance of voter suppression and every dirty trick from the moment reconstruction ended until today ... Several presidential races, dozens of Senate races, and hundreds of Congressional races would've turned out differently. Our nation's history would've been totally different if minorities were never robbed of their right to vote. It took me eighteen years of research and hard work to piece together alternate histories caused by each changed election outcome. Is there a alternate history where you done told me how many people bought your depressing book? It's doing well.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-04 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-04 Pub. Date: 2018-11-04
Image Number: 174599
Caption: You can barely see any stars now, son. But when I was your age, I knew old people who say a sky full of stars when they were your age. No way.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-29 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-29 Pub. Date: 2018-10-29
Image Number: 174715
Caption: This is child protective services, how may we hinder you? Hi, I had my son strapped to my back while I was working. I was reporting on how early voting was going. We were on a bus with a bunch of elderly black people who were on their way to vote, and they were all ordered to get off. I interviewed county officials about why they did that. Explain to me how that's child endangerment! The child was in danger of losing faith in his system of government. Give me back my son!!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-19 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-19 Pub. Date: 2018-10-19
Image Number: 174495
Caption: I hear your campaign's going very well, Mort. My what is going what now? … For Congress. You campaign for Congress. You were running neck-and-neck for a while with the incumbent, Congressman Snidely. But now you're up by three. Oh. Must be that Blue Wave they keep talking about. Or maybe it's that people find my progressive values to be very attractive. Yeah. That, and they finally buried him, so the mourning period is over. I'm looking forward to the debate.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-11 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-11 Pub. Date: 2018-10-11
Image Number: 174390
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have to regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call Momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleaning. Just saying.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-04 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-04 Pub. Date: 2018-10-04
Image Number: 174291
Caption: Our meme division is taking fast, people. Some of our best labels are failing. Fear, Inc. Fear of being called a white knight or a social justice warrior aren't scaring men away from speaking up in support of women in online arguments anymore. It's dragging down the whole GDP. Don't be scared, sir. The gross domestic panic index is overrated as an indicator. That puts me at ease. you're fired.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-03 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-03 Pub. Date: 2018-10-03
Image Number: 174290
Caption: Judge Groperman's supporters are really going to town on the woman who says he attacked her. I spend all night on Facebook defending her from the craziest, most hateful attacks. People called me a social justice warrior and a white knight, but I kept going. What for? Nobody changes their mind anymore. Changing your mind is so old-fashioned. You'll never get me to believe that.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-18 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174073
Caption: The President said his response to the Puerto Rico hurricane was an incredible unsung success. It turns our about as many people died because of the hurricane as died on 9/11. And most of them died in the weeks after the hurricane had passed. He could've done a lot more to save those Americans. I still don't see how this is proof the large Hadron collider shifted us into an antonym universe where words mean the opposite of what they meant in our original universe. In the antonymverse, that means you do see it.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-16 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-16 Pub. Date: 2018-09-16
Image Number: 173878
Caption: Black coffee, please. That'll be extra. What? It's the least popular item on the menu. I'm not following. It's supply and demand. Mocha, white mocha, caramel macchiato, breakfast blend, veranda blend, peppermint onion cactus blend. Those are our most popular drinks. Still not following. People love that stuff, so we have lots of it. You ordered something that's highly unpopular, and therefore it's incredibly rare. Very bad man. You might as well have ordered a unicorn.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-10 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-10 Pub. Date: 2018-09-10
Image Number: 173982
Caption: Did you know they've probably found the advanced, lost city of Atlantis, Susan? They found it decades ago in the Sahara Desert. They call it The Eye of Africa. It fits almost every description Plato wrote: Equidistant, concentric rings of land and what probably used to be water ... mountains to the north showing evidence of ancient rivers, etc. You'd think an army of archeologists would've gone there by now to explore ... but nope. Nothing. I still don't think it's true that They don't want to admit Africa ever created anything. Do you have any idea how many people insist aliens must've built the pyramids.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-05 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-05 Pub. Date: 2018-09-05
Image Number: 173881
Caption: .I don't know if I ever tol' you but … I used to cut Mr. T's hair back in the day. I don't brag about it much, but I'm the one who came up with his iconic hairstyle. Oh, he wasn't happy about it at first. But I said to Mr. T … Mr T? What some people call an accident, a wise man would call an opportunity ... Let me look in the mirror for a second. The mirrors are currently out of order.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-05 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-05 Pub. Date: 2018-08-05
Image Number: 173086
Caption: Am I the crazy one, doc? All day long all I hear from the news is Russia stole the election. Dr. Noodle. Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia! Russia didn't purse hundreds of thousands of voters in key states … The Republican crosscheck programs did that. Russian didn't challenge the voter registrations of thousands of black people and students all over the place. Vote-caging did that. Russian didn't throw out millions of provisional ballots. America did that. And America doesn't seem to have a problem with any of that. I thought you said you didn't even vote ... because they didn't let me! OMG, why didn't you hear that part?! I know I added that part ... or did I? ... I don't even know anymore.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-14 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-14 Pub. Date: 2018-07-14
Image Number: 172718
Caption: At the refugee jail. Look on the bright side, little buddy. Now's your chance to get prison-ripped. What? I'm writing a new book in the "Randy's Manuals" series. It's called "The Alpha Male's Guide to Jail." Chapter six is all aobut using the two hours a day of yard-time to develop titanium buns. I'm not sure this'll be a best-seller. You kidding? We jail more people that any country in the entire world.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-09 people 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-09 Pub. Date: 2018-07-09
Image Number: 172715
Caption: After the township of Canardville collapsed into a giant sinkhole, the Mayor of neighboring Candorville jailed the refugees in an internment camp. I can't believe it. We're not trending. No hashtags, no protests, no mentions on Youtube. NOTHING. Of course not. Don't you see, Rudy? They put babies in concentration camps. BABIES. People were outraged - for about three weeks. I've seen this sort of desensitization before. A country that gets over having baby-jails can tolerate just about anything. How do we know those babies were innocent?
     
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