Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
Come in, minion. Did you read that Lemont Brown article from Candorville.com? The one about Delores Park in San Francisco? Apparently you can now reserve a patch of grass for seven hours if you go to the city's website and pay up to $250. If anyone trespasses on your grass, security guards will roust them. This is the biggest breakthrough in the separation of the classes in ages. I'm going to make all our booths and toilets paid-reservation-only. Very bad man.