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Candorville

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141. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-23 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-23 Pub. Date: 2006-11-23
Image Number: 15340
Caption: Ms. Garcia, while you were out , personnel sent a note asking for your assistant Dick Fink's performance review so I want ahead and wrote one for him in your name. Oh, Ok. Couple things: 1. I have not been out. I've been here the whole time. And 2. You're Dick Fink. Oh, Are you sure? YES I'M SURE.
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-22 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-08 Pub. Date: 2006-10-22
Image Number: 15094
Caption: So, Ebenezer, tell me about these visions you're having. Had to lay off ten people 'cause we couldn't afford to pay their health benefits. Congress does nothing about the health insurance problem. Every time I think about voting them out … Bad people are tryin' to kill you and your family. It happened again, Doc! I picture the President every time I even think about voting democratic ... They wanna kill ya dead! They wanna kill you wife! Whey wanna kill yer puppy dog! They wanna murder yer hamster till it's dead! It has nothing to do with me being afraid of a new congress that might actually hold me accountable for my actions, by the way. Oh, doctor, what's wrong with me? BOO!
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-06 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-06 Pub. Date: 2006-08-06
Image Number: 14296
Caption: Dr. Noodle Couple Sessions Today My husband's a CEO. Ever since corporations took over the government through their armies of lobbyists and their control of the media, he's been… Yes, Mrs. Fitzhugh? Full of himself. Out of touch. Distant. Pish tosh, woman. There's nothing wrong with our marriage. He won't even, well... snuggle at night. How would that benefit the shareholders? Cancel my next five appointments. Did you hear yourself, Ebenezer? That's "Mr. Fitzhugh."
     
144. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-03 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-03 Pub. Date: 2006-08-03
Image Number: 14293
Caption: Bad news, calling today's conflicts "World War III" tested poorly with our focus group. The consensus was that the third installment of any trilogy is just a lame knockoff of the first two. Return of the Jedi, Superman 3, Terminator 3… If you want to really inspire people... The focus group preferred "The First Intergalactic War." Works for me.
     
145. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-06 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-21 Pub. Date: 2006-07-06
Image Number: 14166
Caption: You've reached the office of Mayor Ernest. If you're a member of the press calling to ask whether I think I can govern effectively even though I've just been arrested, press one. Of course I can! You will now return to the main menu. If you're calling about a pothole on your street, contact my defense attorney.
     
146. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-03 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-08 Pub. Date: 2006-06-03
Image Number: 13931
Caption: But I do have a job. Blogging from home isn't a job, Lemont. A job is when you put on a suit, get a bagel and coffee and ride the subway with stinky people at 8AM to a stuffy building with your boss calls you" sweetheart" and then gives your promotion to a less-qualified man. Is there something you want to talk about, Susan? Spoken just like a man.
     
147. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-05 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-08 Pub. Date: 2006-06-05
Image Number: 13933
Caption: In other news, Congress is accusing the executive branch of violating the separation of powers. 'Bout time. Is this about the 750 laws the White House ignored? Is this about their imprisoning folks in secret jails without trials, or spying on Americans without a warrant? Congress demands the Justice Department stop searching the offices of Congressmen accused on taking bribes.
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-06 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-08 Pub. Date: 2006-06-06
Image Number: 13934
Caption: You've reached the office of William Jefferson, democratic congressman from Louisiana. If you're calling to ask whether I've ever taken bribes, please press "one." Beep. Absolutely not! I have never taken a bribe in my life. I'm offended that you asked. You will now return to the main menu. If you're calling to leave a bribe, please press "two."
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-05 Pub. Date: 2006-05-04
Image Number: 13629
Caption: The far-left blames Bush for everything! 9-11, lost jobs, high gas prices, Iraq, the slow response to Hurricane Katrina, North Korea and maybe Iran getting nukes … but it's not all his fault, after all. Ever since he took office, there's been nothing but disaster after disaster. What? Nothing. Thank god for culture clash.
     
150. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-03-19 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-03-24 Pub. Date: 2006-03-19
Image Number: 13284
Caption: As a deacon of this church, I have to tell you, the board of trustees is concerned about what you've been doin' lately, Reverend Wilfred. Explain to me why you accepted money for the White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, and then you coincidentally started talkin' as if you were the White House spokesman. What was that, kind sir? I'm afraid I've become rather hard of hearing. That's ok. Here's a list. Respond to these complaints in writing by next week or you're outta here. I'm afraid I've also gone blind. I also brought it in braille.
     
151. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-20 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-20
Image Number: 13024
Caption: Reverend Wilfred, before we give you this fat check from the White House Office of Faith-based Initiatives, we're just wondering … When are you going to speak out about how liberals ruined Coretta Scott King's funeral? Pardon? Y'know, with all that talk social inequality, the poor, civil rights ...
     
152. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-21 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-21
Image Number: 13050
Caption: The White Office of Faith-Based Initiatives visits Reverend Wilfred. Reverend, you should condemn the liberals who ruined Coretta Scott King's funeral. Condemn those who had the nerve to bash war and social inequality. But Mrs. King herself was an outspoken critic of war and social inequality. That's beside the point.
     
153. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-22 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-22
Image Number: 13051
Caption: The White Office of Faith-Based Initiatives visits Reverend Wilfred. Coretta Scott King would've hated all that talk about social justice at her funeral. The Kings were all about bringing people together, and looking to a future where black CEOs and white CEOs, and Jewish and gentile defense contractors could pillage the country together in peace. Lord, why are you punishing me? The Kings were all about letting bygones be bygones.
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-23 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-23
Image Number: 13052
Caption: The White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives visits Reverend Wilfred. They had the nerve to criticize the President at Coretta Scott King's memorial even though he was in constant view of all the cameras. They callously ruined a very moving photo op. You mean "memorial." What did I say?
     
155. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-24 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-24
Image Number: 13053
Caption: Dear Lord, the government wants me to condemn people who spoke about civil liberties, poverty and war at Coretta Scott King's funeral even though she would've approved. If you think I should refuse, even though it might mean losing half a million dollars in federal aid, please send a sign. Did I mention the loot is tax-free, Lord?
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-25 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-25
Image Number: 13054
Caption: The White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives visits of Reverend Wilfred. My late father marched with Coretta Scott King. I refuse to condemn people who honored her by speaking about social justice at her funeral. This is where I draw the line, If you don't like it, you can take your faith-based initiative money and get the h$#% out of my church. Wow. I must say, I'm impressed by your cour ... Ok, I give in, give me the money.
     
157. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-02-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-02-27 Pub. Date: 2006-02-26
Image Number: 13055
Caption: Reverend Wilfred, Deacon Roscoe is here to see you. D--Deacon Roscoe? What? Why? Well, the board of trustees has been discussing a big charity drive. If I were guessing, I'd say he's gonna tell you to help out with that. Oh. By all means, send the deacon right in! Either that, or he wants to ask you why you went from being a liberal democrat to being a right wing zealot right after accepting half a million dollars from the White House Office of Faith-based Initiatives. Tell him I'm in Detroit.
     
158. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-06 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-06 Pub. Date: 2005-11-06
Image Number: 12153
Caption: Unemployment Checks. Yeah, I'm between gigs right now. Me too. I'm a rapper, usually. What about you? I'm Al Qaeda's number two man in Iraq. The White House coincidentally kills me every time there's a political scandal or the news from Iraq gets too bleak. It's seasonal work, so ... Y'know. I feel you, Dawg. Next!
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-09-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-09-09 Pub. Date: 2005-09-04
Image Number: 11566
Caption: I was just on your blog and I read that new article you wrote: "The Failure of Twinkie™ Diplomacy." What did you think of it, Susan?….
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-09-01 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-09-01 Pub. Date: 2005-09-01
Image Number: 11431
Caption: Republicans are trying to make inroads with blacks by giving black churches tons of cash. All through the White House office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives…..
     
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