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Candorville

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-02 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-02 Pub. Date: 2007-10-02
Image Number: 18779
Caption: Across town, Susan Garcia meets with an old client. I'm diversifyin' my business, girl. Need a whole new ad campaign. Y'know them chiro-doctors? You come in crooked, they straighten yo' @#$%? right out. "Chiropractors." Clyde, you're a dropout. You're not qualified to perform spinal adjustments. Tsk, you got it all wrong. I'm givin' out attitude adjustments. Dios mio.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-27 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-27 Pub. Date: 2007-08-27
Image Number: 18401
Caption: Unemployment Office. Hi, I just got laid off. Need a new job. Where'd you last work, "Mr. Track"? Call me "Laugh." I was on staff at Fox News "Half Hour News Hour"… …The comedy show that once made fun of Barrack Obama by showing a huge crowd of rowdy Africans. Boy, was I needed there. But even my talents couldn't keep them on the air. There's an opening on "Saturday Night Live."
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-05 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-05 Pub. Date: 2007-07-05
Image Number: 17826
Caption: Mr. Cheney, why do you say the Vice President's not part of the Executive Branch? Because the VP casts tie-breaking votes in the Senate. But the Constitution talks about the VP in Article 2, the EXECUTIVE BRANCH article. That doesn't mean anything. Your office is in the White House. How'd you like to be left behind, @#$%.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-04 Pub. Date: 2007-07-04
Image Number: 17825
Caption: PS-911 has a new substitute teacher. The vice president's office is NOT AN ENTITY within the Executive Branch. Huh? Which means it's not bound by the same secrecy rules as the rest of the Executive Branch. So if it turns out that the VP had something to do with outing a covert CIA agent, it's no biggie. Just a hypothetical example, of course. What's Mr. Cheney talking about?
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-02 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-02 Pub. Date: 2007-06-02
Image Number: 17386
Caption: Hi, I'm Mitt Romney. I’m running for president. I'm a Mormon, but man, I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy. What's "polygamy"? It's where one man has multiple women at the same time. Ok, you got my vote. Wait… Did you say you were for it or against it?
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-01 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-01 Pub. Date: 2007-06-01
Image Number: 17385
Caption: Hi, I'm Mitt Romney. I’m running for president. I'm a Mormon, but man, I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy. Really, how 'bout murder, poverty, cancer, slavery, kidnapping, global warming, dying soldiers, genocide, kids and elderly with no health insurance... So you're saying as a voter, you're more concerned about that stuff? "Stuff"?
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-31 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-31 Pub. Date: 2007-05-31
Image Number: 17384
Caption: Hello, I'm Mitt Romney. I'm running for president. Although I'm a Mormon, I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy. Just thought you should know that. Wanna hear a good Mormon joke? Someone's over-compensating.
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-03 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-22 Pub. Date: 2006-07-03
Image Number: 14163
Caption: Reverend Wilfred meets with someone from the White House Office of Faith-Based initiatives. The eagle lands tomorrow, Reverend. The fat man walks alone. Huh? The little boy eats sushi. What's that now? For the love of something important, involving you, is going to happen tomorrow! Oh, why didn't you just say so? The frog swims at noon.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-19 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-19 Pub. Date: 2007-05-19
Image Number: 17245
Caption: You've reached the office of Congressman Gaybaiter. To ask about our freedoms, press "one." To ask why Rep. Gaybaiter thinks gay people shouldn't have the same protection against hate crimes as other minorities, press "two." (2). Thank you for asking about our freedoms.
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-27 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-27 Pub. Date: 2007-04-27
Image Number: 17004
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Here's the thing, Brown, if we're being sold to Trigon Corp. They'll want cost-cutting. Corporations have shareholders. Shareholders demand huge and growing profit margins. I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, son. We can't afford you anymore. But you don't pay me anything. Oh. Well. Carry on, then.
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-26 Pub. Date: 2007-04-26
Image Number: 17003
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Brown, what do you think about lug nuts? Lug nuts, Sir? The Dubois Family built us into one of the most respected newspapers in the nation. They're selling us, Brown, to the Trigon Corporation. You know what Trigon is known for, son? Hint: it ain't journalism. Are you sure that's water in your cup, sir? From now on, all you stories will be lug nut-friendly.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-10 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-10 Pub. Date: 2007-04-10
Image Number: 16748
Caption: You're kicking me out? (A) You have no health insurance, and (B) We need the space. We have an amnesia epidemic coming in. Who am I? …Where am I? …What illegal use of my office for partisan purposes? Another White House appointee coming through!
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-09 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-09 Pub. Date: 2007-04-09
Image Number: 16747
Caption: Not again, Doctor. Not again! I'm afraid so, Kate. Another blogger trying to keep up with all the White House scandals. …Firing prosecutors looking into… Republican corruption while non partisan office illegally used to target Democrats… Obstructing justice... ...momma? Wasn't this one here last year? It might be a chronic condition, Kate.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-09 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-09 Pub. Date: 2007-03-09
Image Number: 16332
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want you to know you can talk to me about your man problems. What? Dick Fink knows you better than anyone. I type your memos, I get you coffee, I rifle through your belongings and read your personal e-mails… …everything a good assistant does. That's not what good assistants do.
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-24 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-26 Pub. Date: 2007-02-24
Image Number: 16213
Caption: Stabbing Co-Workers in the Back For Dummies What?
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-13 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-14 Pub. Date: 2007-02-13
Image Number: 16107
Caption: What're you doing, Lemont? Cleaning out my desk. Papers sverywhere are cutting costs, firing reporters and cartoonists, outsourcing the news. Lemont Brown won't take it lying down, Frank! If Lemont's going down, Lemont's taking his stapler with 'im! Got a problem with that, Frank? Huh, Frank? Yeah. That's my desk. Don't get technical at a time like this, Frank.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-01 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-01 Pub. Date: 2006-12-01
Image Number: 15413
Caption: So at the office's Thanksgiving dinner, O.J. Simpson volunteered to carve the turkey. Is that when the stampeded for the door happened? Not just yet. Aw, man, do I love carvin' up a turkey. Really takes my back. Friends, family, good times, y'know? And that's when the stampeded for the door happened.
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-30 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-30 Pub. Date: 2006-11-30
Image Number: 15412
Caption: Oh man, Susan. You got stuck on the O.J. Simpson account. That's not the half of it, Lemont. Many people think Simpson's a crazy murderer, so he was all along. Mr. Fitzhugh felt sorry for him and invited him to the office's Thanksgiving dinner. So, who wants to carve? That's when the stampede happened? Not just yet.
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-29 Pub. Date: 2006-11-26
Image Number: 15408
Caption: Wanna go for a run at the marina, Lemont? Dunno. I have a pretty full day, Susan. Lemme check my planner … 8:40 - take out trash. 9:05 - eat froot loops. 9:30 - go to the trekbbs.com discussion forum, argue with a twelve-year-old from Reseda about whether "Superman Returns" was a box office flop. 10:05 - read his dumb response. Waste an hour researching my counterargument. 11:15 - publicly humiliate him with my biting sarcasm and erudite wit. 11:45 - read the props from other posters congratulating me for tearing the twelve-year-old apart. I'm free after noon. Sorry, I'm scheduled to spend the afternoon trying to forget what I just heard.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-24 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-24 Pub. Date: 2006-11-24
Image Number: 15341
Caption: Boff! Dick, when I said "Give me my mail the second it arrives," that is not what I meant. Are you sure?
     
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