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Candorville

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-21 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-21 Pub. Date: 2009-01-21
Image Number: 29568
Caption: You wanted to see me, Sir? Come in, Brown. As you know, our parent company wants us to cut costs. Fifty reporters, fifty salaries… It all adds up. We've come up with a novel solution. How much do we pay you to write our blog? Nothing. How would you like to double that while doing fifty times as much work?
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-18 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-18 Pub. Date: 2009-01-18
Image Number: 29379
Caption: No caption. (Barack Obama takes the oath of office from Justice Thurgood Marshall as Martin Luther King, Jr. stands to watch. They are surrounded by slaves as well as leaders of the civil rights movement and others who contributed to the advancement of the cause of racial equality.)
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-10 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-10 Pub. Date: 2008-12-10
Image Number: 28587
Caption: Reverend Wilfred, the Obama people came to see me last night. They're looking for a new pastor and asked me about you. Did you tell them I'm a patriot who's never said a bad word about America. Sort of. I told them you suddenly became a right-wing Liberal-hating demagogue in hopes of getting millions of dollars from Bush's Office of Faith-based Initiatives. But did you put a good spin on it?
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-26 Pub. Date: 2008-09-26
Image Number: 26926
Caption: Meanwhile, at the Candorville Chronicle… The Pentagon's sending Delta Force to rescue John McCain's lost honor from a prison in Vietnam. There's room for an embed, but we have to move fast. All our best people are busy covering Hurricane Britney. Who's left? Life as the Chronicle's Blogger, by Lemont Brown **** 8am - Realized tacos are a perfect metaphor for life. Tap tap tap tap. Is Milton back from vacation yet? The window washer?
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-23 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-23 Pub. Date: 2008-09-23
Image Number: 26923
Caption: John McCain's office. If you're calling to ask why we ran an ad saying Obama wanted to teach kindergarteners about sex… …when he really sought to protect them from sexual predators… Press "one". Boop. John McCain had to face much worse things than lies when he was a captive in a stinking rat hole in Vietnam! Oh, for the love of...
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-20 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-20 Pub. Date: 2008-09-20
Image Number: 26783
Caption: What do you mean I can't fire Dick Fink? He patched my private phone conversation into the office intercom! Now everyone knows all my intimate stuff! Yes… But on the other hand, it was very, very funny. I… I'm speechless. That's odd, I thought I just heard you say something.
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-19 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-19 Pub. Date: 2008-09-19
Image Number: 26782
Caption: Y'know, you really shouldn't use "Dr. Sasquatch's depilatory for extremely hair chicks. Wait a minute… How did everyone in the office know exactly what you and I'd been talking about on the phone? When you asked me to connect you with Lemont Brown, I may have accidentally patched your call into the office intercom. Dios mio... Dick Fink, I oughta... AAAARGH! I may have also accidentally uploaded it to youtube.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-18 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-18 Pub. Date: 2008-09-18
Image Number: 26781
Caption: I, for one, think you're doing the right thing with your boyfriend, Phil Anders. It takes real loyalty to stick with someone who criticizes you all the time. Especially after he said you're a sloppier kisser than his dog. (A) Aren't you that kid from the mail room, and (B) HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?! Phil's right about your temper, though.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-17 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-17 Pub. Date: 2008-09-17
Image Number: 26780
Caption: Maybe your boyfriend, Phil Anders, was joking about being married, but maybe not. Dana? I don't remember telling you about Phil. Have you thought of talking to him about this? Or at least hiring thugs to beat the truth out of him? What does "at least" mean on your planet? At least try your stun gun on him.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-15 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-15 Pub. Date: 2008-09-15
Image Number: 26778
Caption: Dick Fink, please get me Lemont Brown on the phone. Get him yourself. The world owes you nothing. Stop expecting other people to do things for you, you worthless slacker! What? Haven't you ever heard of "tough love"? You're my ASSISTANT. You'll thank me someday.
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-02 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-02 Pub. Date: 2008-09-02
Image Number: 26379
Caption: When's the last time you saw a dentist? Last month. Why? No reason. Wait…are you saying my breath stinks? 'Course not. Your breath smells fine. As smooth as a baby's bottom. That phrase doesn't apply to smells. Well it should.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-11 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-11 Pub. Date: 2008-08-11
Image Number: 25784
Caption: Al Gall-Mart's regional headquarters… Sir, why did you call us here? Oh, no reason. Can't a corporation summon thousands of workers to mandatory meetings without there being some sort of "reason"? We just want to hang out. Maybe play some team-building games. Ooh! I know! Maybe a word association game. I'll say something like "Obama," and you'll say something like "dangerous."
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-04-23 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-04-23 Pub. Date: 2008-04-23
Image Number: 23046
Caption: Citing security concerns, Mayor Tupac has rerouted the Olympic torch. "It's just a small precaution," said the Mayor's office, adding… …"The torch is till an untarnished symbol of hope and brotherhood." I think I see it! It really is beautiful. End genocide! Free Tibet! Leave Britney alone!
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-16 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-16 Pub. Date: 2008-01-16
Image Number: 21203
Caption: How long have you had this feeling of hope, Mr. Dogg? Couple weeks. Since right 'round the time that state tha's almost 100% white voted fo' a black man fuh president. It affectin' my work, Doc. I ain't wrote nut'n but positivity eva since. Many gangsta rappers beset by hope go on to live long and productive lives. Whimper.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-13 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-13 Pub. Date: 2008-01-13
Image Number: 21015
Caption: Dear idiot… I am very offended by your latest "blog" where you smear Mayor Tupac, saying he's "unfit for office" just because he's been "dead" for "several years." My great granddad died ten years ago and I have many other deceased ancestors as well. I suppose all of a sudden, THEY'd be "unfit" too in your narrow-minded world. You obviously have no deceased ancestors, otherwise you wouldn't be so bigoted against the dead. I'M NEVER CHECKING MY E-MAIL AGAIN. I demand an apology on behalf of all necro-Americans.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-17 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-17 Pub. Date: 2007-11-17
Image Number: 19377
Caption: Oh, Doctor. I don't think my Ray Ray would want to be kept alive by artificial means. Waiting Room. For heaven's sake, Darlene, all I have is a hangnail. Pull the plug! He's suffering! Darlene! Note to self: Cancel life insurance.
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-28 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-28 Pub. Date: 2007-10-28
Image Number: 19040
Caption: On today's SUNDAY MORNING POLITICAL SHOW, we discuss Clinton's suggestion that the government give every child a $5000 savings account. Here to discuss this, we have Rudy Giuliani. Thanks, Bob. Hillary's taking a page from George McGovern's playbook. When he ran for office, he promised every American $1000. It was bribery, and it was pathetic. And here to debate Mr. Giuliani, we have Rudy Giuliani from 1972. Hello, Bob. I obviously don't think McGovern's pathetic. In fact, I just voted for him. Bob, this Giuliani character just confessed to having poor judgment. Bob, THIS Giuliani guy will say just about anything.
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-26 Pub. Date: 2007-10-26
Image Number: 19038
Caption: See thish (hic) thish PIN here, shon? THISH ushed to be a shinning, glorioush shield. Why, a m-man could sell hish votesh, betrayyy hish oath of offish, an' he'd SHTILL be a patriatriot. …'Long ash he wore a flag pin on hish jacket. You that Congress dude e'rebody be lookin' fo'? "Senator Flagpin." Had the name changed thish morning.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-04 Pub. Date: 2007-10-04
Image Number: 18781
Caption: C-Dogg's Attitude Adjustment Clinic. Doctor Dogg. The other day I was driving behind a slow, elderly woman. Instead of just passing her, I stayed behind her honking and cussing. I feel big behind the wheel like I own the road. YOU PUNK-@#*, WHA'S YO' PROBLEM, FOOL?! YOU AIN'T @#&$, SON! YOU AIN'T NUTHIN! YOU TINY, PUNK! TINY! Wow. Thanks, Doctor. I don't feel big anymore. Schedule your followup with Nurse Lysol.
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-03 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-03 Pub. Date: 2007-10-03
Image Number: 18780
Caption: Have you got road rage? Do you yell at other bruthas even when it's yo' own #$% fault? Do you get mad at people you mug when it turns out they ain't got no money? Do you blame them fuh wastin' yo' time? Come in to C-Dogg's Attitude Adjustment Clinic. We'll set yo' punk-@%$ straight. CLYYYYDE! Located in that alley over that way. We accept Blue Cross.
     
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