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81. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-22 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-22 Pub. Date: 2010-03-22
Image Number: 45422
Caption: Hi, I'm here for my interview. Interview? For the "Director of Advertising/PR" position. Where do interviews happen? Usually down the hall, last door. Thanks. No problem. Wait … that's MY job!
     
82. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-18 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-18 Pub. Date: 2010-03-18
Image Number: 45147
Caption: Confession: When I realized I was in a hopeless relationship while you were in love with that Dick Fink, that loser from your office, I wanted to die. But it's ironic: the only thing keeping me from becoming bitter NOW is your successful relationship with Dick. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad passionate love affair. ... You don't say. I DO say. ... I wanna take you love-birds to dinner.
     
83. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-07 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-07 Pub. Date: 2010-03-07
Image Number: 44616
Caption: Put. The fork. Down. 'scuse me? I'm you from two years in the future. Keep eating that stuff, you'll end up at Jenny Craig. You won't even have to move, you'll just expand until you're sitting in their office. Hey! That … … That's funny. Can I use that in my next column for the paper? Sure. Just be sure to give me credit. HA HA HA HA HA. You gonna eat that?
     
84. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-01 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-01 Pub. Date: 2010-03-01
Image Number: 44610
Caption: Explain why you haven't subpoenaed Roxanne yet. I want custody of my son! The Law Guy. Well, there was the storm. And then the court was closed for the holiday. Made it hard to get the subpoena. Then there're the three process servers who disappeared without a trace trying to deliver it. ... See, I'd have led with that last one.
     
85. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-25 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-25 Pub. Date: 2010-02-25
Image Number: 44348
Caption: The problem with you Republicans and you Democrats is you're all corrupt elitists! We should vote EVERYONE out in office and put REAL PEOPLE in charge! Just like the animals did in that book "Animal Farm." Um … did you FINISH reading that book? Not really. Why?
     
86. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-17 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-17 Pub. Date: 2010-02-17
Image Number: 44138
Caption: So, I've decided to go ahead and sue Roxanne for custody of Lionel. Ok! I foresee only one problem … I'm broke and she's rich? I'm the dad and she's the mom? I've been institutionalized and she hasn't? Ok! I foresee only four problems …
     
87. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-16 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-16 Pub. Date: 2010-02-16
Image Number: 44137
Caption: I must've left your case file in my library. I'll go get it. The Law Guy. You don't have a library. I've been here before. It's just this one room. And the bathroom. There are any number of ways we can change the subject here. YOU HANDLE MY CASE FROM THE TOILET?! That's not one of them.
     
88. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-15 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-15 Pub. Date: 2010-02-15
Image Number: 44136
Caption: Because … of … the … bad … economy … I've … had … to … The Law Guy. Raise … my … STOP IT!!! Hourly … rate …
     
89. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-26 Pub. Date: 2010-01-26
Image Number: 43362
Caption: Where am I? Well … Blink blink. Mister Russell, you promised not to write on the walls … No one will give me any paper … Thin walls. (Pant! Pant!) What is this? Sunnydale. Do you know where you are, Buffy? No, none of that's real, none of it. Dentist's office? Optometrist? No? Not exactly.
     
90. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-09 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-09 Pub. Date: 2010-01-09
Image Number: 42641
Caption: Dick Fink. As my assistant, you've betrayed me, humiliated me time and again … And I'm pretty sure it was you who sold my car on e-bay. That was never proven. But I have faith that anyone can change, Dick. Even you. Gotta say, for someone asking for a personal favor, this isn't exactly the best preamble. After all, even Kai Winn redeemed herself in the fire caves on Planet Bajor, and I hang out with Lemont way too much.
     
91. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-06 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-06 Pub. Date: 2009-12-06
Image Number: 41435
Caption: Wanna go for a run at the marina, Lemont? Dunno, I have a pretty full day, Susan. Lemme check my planner … 8:40 - take trash out. 9:05 - eat froot loops. 9:30 - go to the trekbbs.com discussion forum, argue with twelve-year-old from Reseda about whether "Superman Returns" was a box office flop. 10:05 - read his dumb response, waste an hour researching my counterargument. 11:15 - publicly humiliate him with biting sarcasm and erudite wit. 11:45 - read the props from other posters congratulating me for tearing the twelve-year-old apart. I'm free after noon. Sorry, I'm scheduled to spend the afternoon trying to forget what I just heard.
     
92. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-12 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-04 Pub. Date: 2006-05-12
Image Number: 13722
Caption: What's going on in here, Garcia? Mr. Fitzhugh, Dick Fink, my assistant, tried to trick me into signing this resignation letter. He's after my job. Ms. Garcia, are you questioning my character? I'm a hard-working family man. Notice he's not denying it. Oh, I'm shocked. My delicate sensibilities can't take these irresponsible allegations. He's not denying it. It's not nice to attack a family man's character, Garcia.
     
93. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-22 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-22 Pub. Date: 2009-06-22
Image Number: 35434
Caption: Fear, Inc. Top floor. Department of Discrediting the President. Sorry, Bunker, we're demoting you. To a less… stressful … department. Consider it your last chance to prove you can create ideas that appeal to today's younger voters. Socialist. … SO NO MORE OLD-FASHIONED "RED SCARE" NONSENSE! YOU UNDERSTAND ME, BUNKER?! YEAH, I UN'ERSTAND, ALREADY! YA DON'T HAFTA YELL! Basement. Department of Derailing Universal Healthcare. Picture this: we'll call it ... "SOCIALIZED MEDICINE."
     
94. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-10 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-10 Pub. Date: 2009-06-10
Image Number: 35001
Caption: You haven't given me anything to persuade a court Lionel would be better off in your custody. Here's how the judge'll see it. Roxanne's rich, you're poor. She's White, you're Black. She's the mother, you're just the father. (sigh) I didn't want to tell you this, but... Wait, I'm forgetting one... Roxanne is a vampire. SNAP. Thank you. She's sane. You're not.
     
95. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-09 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-09 Pub. Date: 2009-06-09
Image Number: 35000
Caption: The Law Guy. This morning… To win custody of Lionel, we'll have to convince the judge Roxanne's an unfit mother. Is she broke? Does she live in a pitiful hovel in a bad part of town? Does she hang around any unsavory people? Yes! All of the above! Good, good. Wait, were you asking about me, or Roxanne? Crumple. Crumple. Ok. Plan B. Has she been spotted with Al-Qaida?
     
96. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-30 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-30 Pub. Date: 2009-05-30
Image Number: 34379
Caption: The dentist won't be available to make appointments until two months from now. Would you like to call back on the 24th or the 25th of July to schedule your visit? Lemme get this straight… You want me to make an appointment to make an appointment right now? Unless some other time is better for you.
     
97. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-29 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-29 Pub. Date: 2009-05-29
Image Number: 34378
Caption: It's not enough. I've laid off everyone except you, and it's still not enough. Executive decision, Brown! I've decided to eliminate our ink budget. But that's… Um… How are people going to read the words on the paper? Paper?! You think we can afford paper?! PAPER DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, BROWN! Hello, you've reached 9-1-1. To report a recession-related nervous breakdown, press "1".
     
98. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-02 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-02 Pub. Date: 2009-05-02
Image Number: 32001
Caption: I knew it. A Black man gets elected president an' all of a sudden a southern state talks about seceding from the union. Oh, please. It's a well-known fact that this has nothing at all to do with race. A fact? Page 189,543: "Sudden talk of secession right after the first Black president takes office is purely coincidental, and based wholly on differing views about unemployment compensation." You really need to get your own copy of "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others."
     
99. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-19 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-19 Pub. Date: 2009-03-19
Image Number: 30976
Caption: You don't have to tell me these lies to break Roxanne and me up. I was gonna leave her anyway. Say what? Soon as I got that promotion, I knew I had a chance at last. I went to a lawyer… I'm here to sue for custody. I KNEW IT! GET MY LYING WIFE ON THE PHONE!!! ...And then I went to a different lawyer.
     
100. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-16 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-16 Pub. Date: 2009-02-16
Image Number: 30185
Caption: I'm telling you, your fiancée and her dad…They're vampires! Yeah, I get it, they're bossy. No! Look, when Obama limited CEO pay to $500k at bailed-out companies…Roxanne's dad got mad. Went around the office biting everyone's head off. Yeah, he can yell. "That reminds me of my first day as the paper's White House correspondent..." Press. It was a bloodbath! Y'mind? You're interrupting a perfectly good flashback.
     
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