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Candorville

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-07 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-07 Pub. Date: 2012-02-07
Image Number: 76088
Caption: Dick, when you told me the Fitzhugh meeting was changed from the conference room to the laundromat across the street … … Were you trying to make me miss the meeting. Of course not, Ms. Garcia. It was a simple mix-up. You do not suspect that I'm sabotaging you or that I want your job. Are you trying the Jedi mind trick on me? I may be excused.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-04 Pub. Date: 2012-02-04
Image Number: 75829
Caption: Big L, you doin' wrong, tryna get office jobs and whatnot. You was a journalist. That's WHO you was. You lost your job. You didn’t lose YOU. You need to get back to writing your blog, Big L. Did you know you have over 27,000 emails from readers wondering where you be at? What? Seriously? Wait, how do You know that? That ain't important right now.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-11 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-11 Pub. Date: 2012-01-11
Image Number: 75070
Caption: I'm highly educated. I'm a hard worker. I've had a job - sometimes four at once - ever since I was 13. I'll find a job any day now. I've never had to use unemployment insurance in my life and I never will. Never! Daddy, I'm hungwee. Hello, you've reached the state unemployment office.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-08 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-08 Pub. Date: 2012-01-08
Image Number: 74474
Caption: I resolve never to steal a coworkers ideas again. That's what I just said!
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-25 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-25 Pub. Date: 2011-12-25
Image Number: 73844
Caption: So why'd you quit your job? Told you. Dr. Noodle. Humor me. Fine. One more time … My boss came over to me, turned to everyone and said "I don’t like this brother. I never liked this brother. This brother never works." Seriously. Then she said "We need to get better brothers in this office or not get any at all." Turns out she was talkin' 'bout the printer behind me. Oh. Well that was just a misunderstanding. Then she said brothers must be made by Mexicans.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-09 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-09 Pub. Date: 2011-12-09
Image Number: 31627
Caption: Dear Susan: Was called away on urgent business. We'll talk about your promotion and raise as soon as I return. Cordially, Mr. Fitzhugh. Do I hear typing in there?! No. (Published originally on 2009-04-17)
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-08 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-08 Pub. Date: 2011-12-08
Image Number: 31626
Caption: Sir, I deserve a promotion and a raise. Garcia, ever seen my valedictorian trophy? After Yale, I did graduate work at the Larry Tate College of Advertising. All my years of training have prepared me for this moment. …Hand me that trophy. Click. RUUMBLE. ...Sir? (Published originally on 2009-04-16)
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-07 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-07 Pub. Date: 2011-12-07
Image Number: 31625
Caption: What makes you think you deserve a promotion, Garcia? I'm glad you asked, sir. Since you merged my creative department with PR, I've been doing the work of three people. And here's a detailed analysis showing I brought in 82% of our business last year. Yes, but on the other hand, there's evidence you're terrible for office morale. What evidence? I feel lousy. (Published originally on 2009-04-15)
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-06 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-06 Pub. Date: 2011-12-06
Image Number: 31624
Caption: "Promotion: (noun) the act of raising someone to a higher position or rank." See, sir? It IS a real word. Oh ... IS it? Sir, you can't refute a fact just by questioning it in a cynical tone of voice while raising one eyebrow. Oh, CAN'T I? No, you can't. (Published originall on 2009-04-14)
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-05 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-05 Pub. Date: 2011-12-05
Image Number: 31623
Caption: I'm not sure why you need to talk with me about your promotion. You're my top man, Garcia. You've been handling promotions on your own for years. You handled Pepsi, and Dr. Sasquatch's Depilatory for Extremely Hairy Chicks. No ... Sir ... By "promotion," I mean I want to take on more responsibility for more money and a better title. Oh, I see! I'm not familiar with that usage of the term. (Published originally on 2009-04-13)
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-02 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-02 Pub. Date: 2010-12-02
Image Number: 54753
Caption: Fear, Inc. What's wrong, Alonso? Everyone's excited about convincing a few voters to vote against their own interests. It's PATHETIC! I remember when this company took on the BIG battles. Why, when I was just an intern, I single-handedly convinced Queen Isabella to start the Spanish Inquisition! Oh Lord ... Alonso's going on about the Inquisition again. There's no institutional memory around here at all!
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-05 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-05 Pub. Date: 2010-11-05
Image Number: 53694
Caption: The Law Guy. Let's make a list of pros and cons. Ok, con … My custody battle is in a week, and your uncle, my lawyer, is nowhere to be found. Mm - hm … Mm - hmm … Ok … Pro: my other uncle, Boozer, has agreed to take over your case, for only a slight additional fee. Has he even passed the bar? Uh huh, usually on his lunch break. What? What?
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-04 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-04 Pub. Date: 2010-11-04
Image Number: 53693
Caption: Hello, you've reached "The Law Guy." Hi, Little Billy? I’m calling to find out the status of my custody battle against Roxanne. May I speak with your Uncle Loafer? This is Loafer. No it isn't. I know the difference between the voice of a grown-up and the voice of a six-year-do. I am a grown-up. In fact, you've interrupted me doing my taxes, or watching "Price is Right," or some other boring @#$%. I'm starting to think I should've picked the second cheapest law firm. I am my Uncle and you cannot prove otherwise.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-25 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-25 Pub. Date: 2010-08-25
Image Number: 51238
Caption: If I tell her I wish she wouldn't retire, she'll take it the wrong way. If I tell her I'm glad she'll be spending more time with her family, she'll take it the wrong way. Don't you have ANYTHING to say to me?! If I tell her we can't afford to pay her pension, she'll take it the wrong way.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-23 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-23 Pub. Date: 2010-08-23
Image Number: 51236
Caption: Meanwhile … at the Chronicle … Why aren't you at Cathy's retirement party, sir? She's been here 34 years you ought to go pay your respects. You served fat-free ice cream? Why did you serve fat-free ice cream? There's only room for one of us under here, Olsen. You're on your own. Are you trying to tell me something?
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-26 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-26 Pub. Date: 2010-03-26
Image Number: 45426
Caption: Dick, I want you to track down Mr. Fitzhugh and find out why he's interviewing people to replace me! Dick? What are you doing? You're my assistant. Shouldn't you be at your desk assisting me? So anyway, sir … that's why I think I would make a good Director of Advertising/PR. Are you interviewing people to replace your boss? what would give you that idea? So when do I start?
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-25 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-25 Pub. Date: 2010-03-25
Image Number: 45425
Caption: Hello, little lady … can I help you? How'd you get into my office? Hahahah, how cute … this is MY office! Impressed? This is the Director of Advertising/PR's office. Yes, I know. That's ME. You're just a little hysterical. I'm the new DAPR. Get it? "Dapper"? Short for "Director of --" I GET IT! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!!
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-24 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-24 Pub. Date: 2010-03-24
Image Number: 45424
Caption: Is something wrong, Miss Garcia? Heh heh heh. No. Yes. I don't … Dick … I think my jobs in danger. Someone showed up to interview for MY JOB. But I can't get ahold of Mr. Fitzhugh to get to the bottom of this. Oh. You don't say. Heh heh heh heh heh. Rub rub rub. Dick ... do you know something about this? Why do you ask?
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-23 office 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-23 Pub. Date: 2010-03-23
Image Number: 45423
Caption: Yes? Can I help you? Mr. Fitzhugh, may I have a word? You may. But I'm changing, so ask your question through the door please. Ok. Some guy's here to interview for MY job. Are you firing me? I'm sorry, but a raise is out of the question right now. ... Um ... are you really there or am I talking to a recording? Yes? Can I help you?
     
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