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Candorville

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-16 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-16 Pub. Date: 2011-03-16
Image Number: 58578
Caption: Of course I'll come to your custody hearing tonight, Lemont. I mean, I AM spending every waking moment staving off the financial collapse of our paper, playing with my grandkids, and waiting for your long-overdue article about the Wisconsin union protests. But I think I can steal an entire evening away from my dying wife to sit in night court testifying on your behalf. Great! Be there at 10 p.m.
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-14 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-14 Pub. Date: 2011-03-14
Image Number: 58576
Caption: I was gonna come waste my valuable time testifying at your custody hearing last night, Big L … but my grandma died, all sudden an' #@$%*. Oh man … I'm sorry to hear that, Clyde. I really am … but the hearing's still going on. You can come tonight. Um ... sure-wait ... tonight? Can't dawg. We expecting her to have a relapse tonight. Wait ... I was at your grandma's funeral. In 1994. It's a chronic thing.
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-06 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-06 Pub. Date: 2011-02-06
Image Number: 56821
Caption: You look happy! That's 'cause I have an awful cold and couldn't sleep all night! Huh? When I lay down, I was all snotty and congested. But when I sat up, I was perfectly fine. That's when it hit me … an invention that'll make me millions! A bed that bends so your back is completely vertical! I wanted to call it the "vertibed," but that's too clunky. Gotta get it down to one syllable. Like "ved," or "bup." Or "chair." What?
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-30 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-30 Pub. Date: 2011-01-30
Image Number: 56625
Caption: Whutsis? This is your wake-up call. No matter what you say or do, they'll call you a socialist who's trying to destroy capitalism. Saywhat now? You could give every CEO a big wet kiss … Wrong number … … And they'd say you're forcing businesses to buy chapstick. Also, your ears aren't getting any smaller. YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!!
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-24 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-24 Pub. Date: 2011-01-24
Image Number: 56619
Caption: I think dreams are about wish fulfillment. Even the negative ones. We either wish things WOULD happen, or we wish they WOULDN'T happen. Our dreams tell us everything we want to know about our fears, our desires, our wishes. I dreamt that instead of running out of the clock so you can bill me more, you actually let me talk about the dream I had last night. We're out of time. Would you like to schedule another session to discuss that?
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-20 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-20 Pub. Date: 2010-12-20
Image Number: 55455
Caption: I could've sworn I saw you and Clyde looking through my window last night. It's not what it looked like, Susan. Then what is it? We were Christmas tree shopping. This year we can't afford our own trees, so we're scoping out which ones we're going to take when their owners dump them on the curb after new year's. I'd rather it HAD been what it looked like. YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, GREAT RECESSION!
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-16 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-16 Pub. Date: 2010-12-16
Image Number: 55239
Caption: Younger me, I remember this like it was yesterday. Sasha Mitchell Facebooked us … and you're not sure whether to write back. But that's because you only remember her as that 17-year-old teenager you knew in college, so you're in no hurry. But trust me ... ... write back to Sasha Mitchell right now, and ... you will meet the WOMAN of your dreams. Great. You oversold it. Now she'll NEVER live up to that. It's Obama all over again.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-15 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-15 Pub. Date: 2010-12-15
Image Number: 55238
Caption: Hello, younger me. I've come back through time in your dreams to tell you something that'll change the whole course of your life. Sasha Mitchell, your "one that got away," Facebooked you a couple of days ago. You have to write back … NOW. Surely it can wait till morning. No it can't, and ... and ... um ... mph. Oh go ahead, we know we want to. DON'T CALL ME "SHIRLEY"! ... last time I swear.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-28 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-28 Pub. Date: 2010-11-28
Image Number: 54485
Caption: Wuzzat? I said "I'm you, from decades in the future." I've come back through time in your dreams to give you directions - a roadmap that'll prevent a lifetime of financial hardship. Refuse any college loans. Instead, apply for ten credit cards and pay for college with those. Then, when you graduate, declare bankruptcy. Bankruptcy doesn't wipe out college loans, but it DOES wipe out credit card debt. Um ... I graduated from college over a decade ago. Oh. Which way is 1999? That way.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-23 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-23 Pub. Date: 2010-06-23
Image Number: 48742
Caption: Lemont travels back through time to keep his younger self from making the biggest mistake of his life … U.C. Berkeley Dormitories Freeborn Hall. So you're saying Sasha is the love of our life, I screw that up, and she becomes "the one that got away"? You never kiss her. But I don't know if she wants me to kiss her. She comes up to your dorm room every night, lays in your bed, you hold each other and she gazes into your eyes for HOURS. Maybe she's just friendly. Was I really this stupid?!?!
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-04 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-04 Pub. Date: 2009-12-04
Image Number: 41433
Caption: Another journalist investigating the deaths in Juarez. I bet you fell for the cover story … Huh? The "Drug cartels warring with each other" nonsense. The truth is worse. Much worse. It has to do with creatures that stalk the night, robbing people of their souls. Pfft. Everyone I saw was wearing shoes. What? What?
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-27 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-27 Pub. Date: 2009-11-27
Image Number: 41224
Caption: The other day I saw a wolf roaming the street at night, all alone. Which was weird, 'cause there ain't been no wolves in Candorville, not since 1806 when Jebediah oldman made that fateful bet. If Jeb beat the wolf king at thumb wrestling, all the wolves'd leave. If the wolf king won, they could eat all the people. As fate would have it, wolves ain't that bright, and wolves don't have opposable thumbs. Will stop following you while telling nonsensical stories, for $$.
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-11 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-11 Pub. Date: 2009-10-11
Image Number: 39258
Caption: Who is it? This is a wake-up call for Lemont Brown. I donm mumble. You've got to stop using your cell phone in the bathroom. Pardonm I domble … If you keep doing it, at least get acquainted with your "mute" button. Just cupping your hand over your phone's microphone doesn't always work. Huh? Anyway, think of it this way ... If you get an urgent call while you're in the John, what the heck can you DO about it? Zzzzz. You'd have to wait till "flush" you're out anyway, right?
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-09 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-09 Pub. Date: 2009-07-09
Image Number: 35971
Caption: Dead Superstar Michael Jackson visits Lemont's dream. End of the line! Do you hear that? Hear what? That! "Lullaby, and good night, you're your mother's delight … Shining angels beside my darling abide … "… sleepyhead, close your eyes. Mother's right here beside you. I'll protect you from harm. you will wake in my arms." I prefer acid jazz. Don't ruin the @##$ moment!
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-08 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-08 Pub. Date: 2009-07-08
Image Number: 35970
Caption: Michael Jackson visits Lemont's dream. Ever heard of parents selling their innocent little boy's soul to the devil? Heh. Yeah. "Reaper." Now that was a TV show. Of course, since I loved that show, it got canceled. I've got a pretty bad track record when it comes to my favorite show getting-- Hello! Dead superstar here shedding light on his inner demons! Can we please focus?
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-07 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-07 Pub. Date: 2009-07-07
Image Number: 35969
Caption: Michael Jackson visits Lemont's dream. I'm conflicted. On one hand, kids accused you of some serious offenses and I never completed bought your story. But on the other hand … I was a depressed kid. No dad. An outcast. But when I heard you sing and watched you dance, I felt full of life. What the heck. You entertained me so I'm willing to overlook your stupid decisions and your embarrassing naiveté. Thanks a lot. It's the least I could do.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-06 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-06 Pub. Date: 2009-07-06
Image Number: 35968
Caption: What the -- who's there? Dead "King of Pop," Michael Jackson. Are you a ghost? I am a beautiful, angelic entity. A force of love and life. I was put on this earth to bring mankind together in peace. What was up with those kids you -- Don't spoil the moment or I'll tap dance on your spleen!
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-01 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-01 Pub. Date: 2009-07-01
Image Number: 35734
Caption: Two weeks ago … Twitter. IranProtestr: Mousavi & Staff have been arrested. Oh no! RandmStrangr: Iranian militia storming local comic book store. Oh N … Huh? Twitter might not be the ideal source for news. iMightBcrazy: Supreme Leader Khamenei deposed by Conan O'Brien.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-04 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-04 Pub. Date: 2009-04-04
Image Number: 31253
Caption: You! I had the weirdest dream last night 'cause of you, you scary little stray wolf/dog thing… …And the second I get home from work, I'm Fed-Exing you to Bangkok. Slurp. Oh. Dios mio… (Sigh). What do you want for dinner, Kibble or motorcycle gang? Grrrrr.
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-06 night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-06 Pub. Date: 2009-03-06
Image Number: 30450
Caption: Grrr? What is it, girl? You want your tummy scratched? I want you to tell me where Lemont Brown went. … It's ok. Harlot, you're only dreaming. No more churros before bedtime. By the way, that wet spot is only drool, I swear.
     
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