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The News Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-22 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-22 Pub. Date: 2018-09-22
Image Number: 174111
Caption: For health reasons, we'll be watching only two hours a day of pre-election tv coverage. Oh, snookums … How sweet. You're so worried about me getting overly-taxed by intense political debate. Pshaw! That pipsqueak Olbermann gives me hives and Hannity is so physically hunky and so amazingly stupid that he confuses my hormones. I'm talking about my health, geezer! Too late, old bag! You just admitted you love me as much as I love you!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-20 Pub. Date: 2018-09-20
Image Number: 174109
Caption: It's well a month before November and your uncle's already overdosed on pre-election tv coverage. Earlier than usual. We've got to cut his use. How? I've taken the liberty of messing with his television signal. I've switched up his channels. Help! You're not Keith Olbermann! Next: Iron Chef bakes with only rodent ears.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-19 Pub. Date: 2018-09-19
Image Number: 174074
Caption: Clyde, you notice all that ash outside? That's because of that wildfire raging 50 miles away. I don't recall having massive wildfires all the time when I was a kid. 'Course not. You was always inside watching tv. If they didn't mention it on The Love Boat, you didn't know @#$ about it. I watched the news, too. Don't remind me. You was the only six-year-old came to Halloween dressed like Ted Koppel.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-19 Pub. Date: 2018-09-19
Image Number: 174108
Caption: How can you keep getting so ramped up for elections? Are you serious? Elections are not just the lifeblood of our democracy, but of the nation; our communities, schools, restaurants! Restaurants? Gymnasiums, night clubs, hat fitters, taxidermists, hair stylists ... maybe taxidermists. I overdosed again on Fox and CNN.
     
5. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-09-18 news 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174011
Caption: I got an email from that outfit that did my DNA analysis. They have some very good news. Oh? Yes. Just listen to this … According to their report, my genetics indicate that I am unlikely to go bald.
     
6. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-09-18 news 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174004
Caption: That can't be right. Read the definition again … A slit through which a button is passed. You mispronounced the Word o' the Day. What'd I say? Well you sure as heck didn't say buttonhole. Picky picky … News. The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. Yves Saint Laurent.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-11 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-11 Pub. Date: 2018-09-11
Image Number: 173983
Caption: Bus is late. Fake news. What? Have you interviewed the bus dispatcher? Have you been here all day? It's just as likely the bus has been running early all day. And so we missed it. But I guess that wouldn't fit in with your bus is late narrative. Not everything in this country has to be an argument. Yes it does!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-07 Pub. Date: 2018-09-07
Image Number: 173883
Caption: I read that news article you wrote comparing the president to a mafia boss. You mean my humor column? It was totally inaccurate. Yes, the president called Cohen his fixer. And yes, he keeps praising stooges who don't flip on him. But he never gave Jared Kushner the title of patsy. He never threatened to make Mueller's career sleep with the fishes. And he does not celebrate signing every executive order by yelling bada-bing! (Sigh) you always know someone has no argument when he gets extra-literal about everything. A person can't get literal. A person's interpretation does that. Don't you know anything?
     
9. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2018-09-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2018-09-07 Pub. Date: 2018-09-07
Image Number: 173875
Caption: Good news! Your exemplary life qualified you for pre-check status! You can probably guess the bad news.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-05 Pub. Date: 2018-09-05
Image Number: 173919
Caption: Peek inside, will you, a press conference held by our very own namesake, Rudy Park. He's vowed to reveal some powerful news. And here it comes … I'm fed up with Apple. I can tell from your stunned silence that you're desperate to hear more. We're riveted. Hold down the clamor.
     
11. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2018-08-30 news 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2018-08-30 Pub. Date: 2018-08-30
Image Number: 173692
Caption: Good news! Test results confirm you're half full.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-27 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-27 Pub. Date: 2018-08-27
Image Number: 173795
Caption: Great news. I got an iPhone. Shut up! You did? Is it not awesome? It is not. Huh? You mean it is awesome or it is not awesome? Yes. Let us begin again. Is it not the greatest device of any kind ever invented? You're making no sense. My point: I hate the iPhone. You're making no sense.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-05 Pub. Date: 2018-08-05
Image Number: 173086
Caption: Am I the crazy one, doc? All day long all I hear from the news is Russia stole the election. Dr. Noodle. Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia! Russia didn't purse hundreds of thousands of voters in key states … The Republican crosscheck programs did that. Russian didn't challenge the voter registrations of thousands of black people and students all over the place. Vote-caging did that. Russian didn't throw out millions of provisional ballots. America did that. And America doesn't seem to have a problem with any of that. I thought you said you didn't even vote ... because they didn't let me! OMG, why didn't you hear that part?! I know I added that part ... or did I? ... I don't even know anymore.
     
14. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2018-08-04 news 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2018-08-04 Pub. Date: 2018-08-04
Image Number: 173149
Caption: News. E-Commerce News. It says there's a company providing a payment method for buying blemish cream. That should call it "zitcoin"!
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-29 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172980
Caption: This just in: There's nothing in. We here at CNM have finally realized why our ratings have been plummeting. For years, we billed ourselves as a 24-hour news channel. We gave unbiased reports on the major events of the day. But it turns out: There aren't that many major events. How many minor updates can we give you on a fire that takes place at a polygamist compound, or a northeast snowstorm or a traffic snarl? We can admit this because no one is listening. The 24-hour news channels have grown desperate and giddy. We're going to one hour of news, and 23 hours of political bickering and nude juggling.
     
16. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-07-29 news 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172931
Caption: A true story … Overnight a tornado touched down outside of Folkston. Live-Five reporter Boyd Crieswolf is at the scene. Boyd? Thanks, Eric. As you can see behind me, the twister left a path of destruction … Demolishing a convenience store, a gas station and several signs. I spoke with authorities who said - had people been present, there could have been catastrophic loss of life. Back to you in the studio, Eric. Some very lucky people are waking up in Folkston this morning, Boyd. How's the commute looking, Shyann?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-25 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-25 Pub. Date: 2018-07-25
Image Number: 173089
Caption: This just in: Air Force One is missing. It was last seen flying in the general direction of Russian. Click … Despite the empty Big Mac boxes suddenly piling up in his trash can in Moscow, Edward Snowden denies he's got a new roommate. Click. In Moscow, there's been a sudden increase in reported incidents of grabbing. Click. Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the Millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-19 Pub. Date: 2018-07-19
Image Number: 172928
Caption: Thank you for doing this, Anderson Cooper. After Vietnam, I owe you. See The Starbucks at the End of the World, page 161. Here's how it'll go down: I ask to interview the refugees again. When the guards refuse, you create a distraction. You have one in mind? Affirmative. I fake a split personality and accuse myself of being fake news before I take offense at that and put myself in a headlock. Then ... Best I don't know the details. Ok. That's the air duct you'll be sneaking into? No. That's chocolate. I had a Snickers.
     
19. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2018-07-10 news 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2018-07-10 Pub. Date: 2018-07-10
Image Number: 172696
Caption: With all the news that's going on these days, they've definitely had some work.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
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