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Rudy Park

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-03 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-03 Pub. Date: 2015-12-03
Image Number: 135995
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … uh … never mind, we're sorry. It can wait. Please forgive us. Breaking News!!!!! Nobody messes with my routine. It'll never happen again.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-19 Pub. Date: 2015-11-19
Image Number: 135391
Caption: This just in: A deadly new disease called "turkey leprosy" is threatening to ruin this year's holiday season. Symptoms include numbness in the feet, muscle weakness after working out, and potentially disfiguring dandruff. Sadie M. Cohen, the worlds foremost expert on turkey leprosy, issues the following statement from her front lawn. "You are all ignoramuses. There will be no further comment." What did she mean by that, Harvey? Good question. Let's discuss that for a few days.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-24 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131657
Caption: Not cool, little buddy. Not cool. What're you talking about? Someone on Facebook posted a video of themselves making out with a ham sandwich … and you "liked" it. What? How did you know that?! We're Facebook friends. Every time you "like" something, it shows up in my newsfeed. But I thought you could only see my "like" if you've watched the video too. No ... No, I don't think so.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-15 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-15 Pub. Date: 2015-08-15
Image Number: 131014
Caption: This just in: A sheriff's deputy in Kentucky is being sued over a video posted on Youtube … of him handcuffing a crying third-grader's biceps behind his back in a position most of us may consider torture. The child hadn't committed any crime, but he had displayed symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder and PTSD. Breaking news!!!!! Maybe the police ARE a tad out of control. Some say the child brought it on himself by having a disability.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-19 Pub. Date: 2015-07-19
Image Number: 129104
Caption: Breaking news! The Hubble telescope has just detected a rogue planet the size of Venus, plummeting through the asteroid belt. Its gravity is pulling Ceres and several dozen mountain-sized asteroids along with it. NASA believes their combined gravity will be enough to pull Mars and the moon along with them as they scream past earth and plummet into the sun. There will only be one place on earth that won't be utterly devastated by gravimetric forces. Find out where that is later in this broadcast. But first stay tuned for sports, after these messages ... OH COME ON!!! Tired of outrageous cable bills? Switch to satellite (until they all get knocked out of orbit)!
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-11 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129354
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking news!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-06 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-06 Pub. Date: 2015-05-06
Image Number: 126576
Caption: There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124320
Caption: Rudy, gas prices are rising again. I bet somehow this is bad news for me. I suppose you're wondering how that affects the café. Uh … sure. Well, did you know that a great many products are made from oil? Such as plastic? And did you know that, for a brief time, manufacturers would actually pay people to cart away all their plastic shavings? ... And did you know that it's much cheaper to cut coffee grounds with plastic shavings than to serve pure coffee? Theoretically, of course, I would never do such a thing. Anyhow, our profit margins have plummeted 0.02%, so I'll have to cut your pay. Yes! I just won a bet!
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-23 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-23 Pub. Date: 2015-03-23
Image Number: 124709
Caption: 47 Republican senators sent a letter to the government of Iran saying any agreement they reach with the president is worthless. Students in Oklahoma were caught cheerfully singing chants about lynching black people. Hillary Clinton used a private email address, and Kim Kardashian is blond now. I told you, constantly getting breaking news alerts on your phone would not end well. Jellyfish protein may help improve memory.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-22 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-22 Pub. Date: 2015-03-22
Image Number: 123750
Caption: This just in: People can get used to anything. Scientists at Tonga Technical Online University have discovered that 81% of Americans become accustomed to horrendous news after being repetitively exposed to it for more than six weeks. Participants in the study were fed with regular updates on ISIS, Ukraine, missing airliners, the measles outbreaks, Bill Cosby and Brian Williams. 100% of participants were initially shocked. By week two, 95% had progressed to being appalled. By week six, a whopping 87% were either bored or had completely forgotten about the story that had outraged them just weeks earlier. Fix your attention span, America! By week 7, 0.01% had either moved to Syria, become pilots, refused to vaccinate their kids, started eating Jell-O pudding pops, or mistakenly "remembered" they were at Gettysburg.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-05 Pub. Date: 2015-03-05
Image Number: 123747
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Brian Williams said he wrongly remembered being shot down over Iraq, and reporters who were there are saying Bill O'Reilly's really exaggerated his experiences during the Falklands War. What do you think of that? THEY'RE LIARS!!! But it's nothing new. Even Edward R. Murrow lied about being in World War II. I have it on good authority he filed all his "battlefield" reports from a love nest in the Swiss Alps, while I - I mean, while an unknown buxom beauty massaged his toes.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-30 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-30 Pub. Date: 2014-12-30
Image Number: 120913
Caption: To be an alpha male, little buddy, you've got to live like you've got nothing left to lose. I don't know, Randy. How could I just stop worrying about losing my dream job, or losing my life savings, or losing my looks ... or losing the respect of other men and the respect and adoration of the ladies? Good news and bad. Good: If you've never had any of that stuff, you can skip right to the "nothing left to lose" part. Ok ... and the bad?
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-13 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-13 Pub. Date: 2014-09-13
Image Number: 116263
Caption: All the police brutality in the news makes it seem like it's happening more. It's not? Of course not. We've had police brutality ever since we first had police. You youngsters don’t know what police brutality is. Everything you've seen on your TV is what's done by police who know they're probably being recorded. When I was your age, there were no cellphone cameras or dashboard cams. Imagine what cops did before cameras existed! Anything that happened before I was born is meaningless to me.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-31 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-31 Pub. Date: 2014-08-31
Image Number: 114993
Caption: Tired of having your intimate moments and in-person communications interrupted by cellphone calls and incoming texts? Great news from At-Mobile. If you get our True Friends calling plan, we GUARANTEE it will repair all your personal relationships! No longer will you be distracted with rings at inopportune moments or by an endless stream of virtual interruptions. Why? Because At-Mobile continues to have the WORST coverage in the wireless industry. With our service, you'll continue to not be able to get signals in all kinds of places, like your home and office, local cafes, even in your car. For $49.95, you can't afford not to have the wireless plan that lets you focus on the people who are right in front of you. Stop into our local retail store and check out the new no-coverage maps that show where our wireless signal is shoddier than anyone else in the business.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-10 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-10 Pub. Date: 2014-08-10
Image Number: 114177
Caption: GREAT NEWS! Scientists have cured many, many diseases! They've used new discoveries and innovative techniques to CURE inherited liver disease … … To cure cardiac disease caused by a formerly fatal genetic disorder … … to cure all forms of cancer with no side effects ... ... and to totally REVERSE THE AGING PROCESS ... ... in mice. OH COME ON!!! When will all this be applicable to humans, Chuck? We asked a scientist, but he just glanced at a tiny hole in the wall and said ... "Shhh ... there are ears everywhere."
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-19 Pub. Date: 2014-05-19
Image Number: 111622
Caption: We interrupt this breaking news to bring you breaking news! About half an hour ago, we interrupted "The Price Is Right" to bring you breaking news. An elderly "Price Is Right" fan emerged out of nowhere and began pummeling our news van with rotten eggs. Our newscopter is bringing us video of the lady chasing our van. What is that she's driving, Chuck? I believe that's a Rascal Scooter, Ted.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-27 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-27 Pub. Date: 2014-04-27
Image Number: 109908
Caption: THIS JUST IN: Nothing new happened today. Opinion polls are unchanged … No missing people were found … no new ones went missing … there were no shootings … the weather is the same as yesterday … Russia hasn't begun any new invasions, no natural disasters have struck, nobody "stood their ground" in Florida ... ... No celebrities have done anything dumb ... ... There are no new rumors about the next iPhone ... ... In short, we have 24 hours to fill and nothing to talk about. What's that mean? Stay tuned for expert analysis.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-06 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-06 Pub. Date: 2014-03-06
Image Number: 108285
Caption: Two weeks ago … In other news, a local café manager named "Rudy Park" was hospitalized today … … When dozens of enraged Ukrainian visitors mistook him for their deposed president and pummeled him with fried curd cheese fritters … … A Ukrainian delicacy that for some reason was being sold at the cafe as "revenge fritters." The cafe's owner issued the following statement: "To show my thoughts are with Mr. Yanukovych, the fritter and hospital map combo is now half off."
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-21 Pub. Date: 2014-02-21
Image Number: 107785
Caption: You're always chastising Rudy for using the web, yet here you are. How do you explain yourself? Something magical happened. I saw a small child break into tears at this computer and run away. I came to see what happened. That's when I discovered it. The comments section beneath a news article. A wonderland of mockery, bitterness and good old-fashioned blood feuds. Is that Sadie hugging that computer? Let's talk about something else.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-28 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-28 Pub. Date: 2014-01-28
Image Number: 106957
Caption: How does it hurt anyone if I download movies illegally? It just does. But it's not like I'd be paying to see them if I didn't download them. I'm broke. If I was never gonna pay to see it anyway, then it's not like they're losing money they woulda gotten. You don't think you'll ever grow up and get a job? Duh, haven't you been watching the news?
     
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