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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-17 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-17 Pub. Date: 2019-04-17
Image Number: 177234
Caption: I said: Get me a @#$% coffee! You're healed. What saved you? I was watching the news and I saw you - on my tv - spending the night to buy a new iPhone as soon as they went on sale. Your mindless consumerism made me so @#$% angry, that I spontaneously healed so I could come back here and strangle you! Hand over that &@#$ iPhone, loser! No way, it's keeping you healthy.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-15 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-15 Pub. Date: 2019-04-15
Image Number: 177232
Caption: Sadie? I have something to tell you. I never thought I'd say this, but it's good to see you in the café. You better sit down. Sit down? Is it bad news? Are you dying? Shut yer @#$% and sit! Insult to injury.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-03 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-03 Pub. Date: 2019-04-03
Image Number: 177048
Caption: Mrs. Cohen you've got some spots on your larynx. What is it, doctor? Oh, good news. I'm not a doctor. Just a nurse. Good news. Under your plan, if you're seeing a doctor, it's already too late. @#$! HMO!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-15 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-15 Pub. Date: 2019-03-15
Image Number: 176740
Caption: Great news, Mrs. Cohen. Screw off, geek boy. Remember that video I took of you screaming? Well I loaded it on to Youtube. You're one of the day's most watched videos. Action. Aaaaahhhh.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-25 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174826
Caption: Tired of long-winded pundits overanalyzing the news? Your days of boring news talk shows are behind you! Welcome CNM viewers to a sizzling new concept in talk shows: No you are! I'm Brit Johnson, your host. Today's first topic, Health Care Reform. Joining me from the left, Damon Silver. From the right, Paula Doyle. Damon, your thoughts? It's complicated but I'll tell you what's obvious. Paula's all wrong. She's a decent person, but when it comes to health care, she's an idiot. No you are! No you are! No you are! Whoa, calm down. Keep it civil. Next up, the deficit. Paula? No you are! Love this show. No YOU are! I know you are but what am I?!
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-04 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-04 Pub. Date: 2018-11-04
Image Number: 174632
Caption: Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-22 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-22 Pub. Date: 2018-09-22
Image Number: 174111
Caption: For health reasons, we'll be watching only two hours a day of pre-election tv coverage. Oh, snookums … How sweet. You're so worried about me getting overly-taxed by intense political debate. Pshaw! That pipsqueak Olbermann gives me hives and Hannity is so physically hunky and so amazingly stupid that he confuses my hormones. I'm talking about my health, geezer! Too late, old bag! You just admitted you love me as much as I love you!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-20 Pub. Date: 2018-09-20
Image Number: 174109
Caption: It's well a month before November and your uncle's already overdosed on pre-election tv coverage. Earlier than usual. We've got to cut his use. How? I've taken the liberty of messing with his television signal. I've switched up his channels. Help! You're not Keith Olbermann! Next: Iron Chef bakes with only rodent ears.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-19 Pub. Date: 2018-09-19
Image Number: 174108
Caption: How can you keep getting so ramped up for elections? Are you serious? Elections are not just the lifeblood of our democracy, but of the nation; our communities, schools, restaurants! Restaurants? Gymnasiums, night clubs, hat fitters, taxidermists, hair stylists ... maybe taxidermists. I overdosed again on Fox and CNN.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-05 Pub. Date: 2018-09-05
Image Number: 173919
Caption: Peek inside, will you, a press conference held by our very own namesake, Rudy Park. He's vowed to reveal some powerful news. And here it comes … I'm fed up with Apple. I can tell from your stunned silence that you're desperate to hear more. We're riveted. Hold down the clamor.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-27 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-27 Pub. Date: 2018-08-27
Image Number: 173795
Caption: Great news. I got an iPhone. Shut up! You did? Is it not awesome? It is not. Huh? You mean it is awesome or it is not awesome? Yes. Let us begin again. Is it not the greatest device of any kind ever invented? You're making no sense. My point: I hate the iPhone. You're making no sense.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-29 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172980
Caption: This just in: There's nothing in. We here at CNM have finally realized why our ratings have been plummeting. For years, we billed ourselves as a 24-hour news channel. We gave unbiased reports on the major events of the day. But it turns out: There aren't that many major events. How many minor updates can we give you on a fire that takes place at a polygamist compound, or a northeast snowstorm or a traffic snarl? We can admit this because no one is listening. The 24-hour news channels have grown desperate and giddy. We're going to one hour of news, and 23 hours of political bickering and nude juggling.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-23 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-23 Pub. Date: 2018-06-23
Image Number: 172387
Caption: Great news! You set a record holding up the line in the post office? Better. I got my wanted picture in the post office. I'm like an old-time bad guy. It's awesome that at my age, I can still accomplish something of meaning. I wonder if I can bring down the internet. Dare to dream.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-16 Pub. Date: 2018-06-16
Image Number: 172245
Caption: This just in: A massive sinkhole just opened across the bridge in a suburb of Candorville. The ent … Click. One structure was spared obliteration: A local café that had advertised that one of its muffins contained a free-gas-for-life card. The entire town was there ... Click. Candorville's mayor, Ronald Thump, has closed the bridge, preventing sinkhole refugees from reaching. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... mun mun mun -
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-14 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-14 Pub. Date: 2018-06-14
Image Number: 172243
Caption: Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-10 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171298
Caption: You're saying aliens built the Great Pyramid of Giza? Either that, or ancient mankind had reached outer space. The Great Pyramid of Giza is at the exact geometric center of earth's landmasses. You can't know where that is unless you're looking down from orbit ... or unless it's just dumb luck. Too late. Case closed. I've settled it. All counter-arguments are fake news.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-23 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-23 Pub. Date: 2018-04-23
Image Number: 170875
Caption: Boss, I got your memo about the café's new patrons-only bathroom policy. Good. One question: Why's it say this only applies to scared people? You're aware of the recent Starbucks news? Their mistake was they engaged in negative discrimination. My studies show positive discrimination actually boosts customer retention. Now get back out there, and when you hand a patron the potty key, don't for to say this is only for the brave! I've been saying that. But it just makes them afraid to go in there.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170596
Caption: How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170592
Caption: Sadie, I can't stop checking my phone. Every alert is starting to feel historic. For the first time, I'm not sure whether our system of government is going to survive. What will they uncover about the president? What will the president do in return? If he falls, what will his followers do? Is this how it felt when you kept checking the cave paintings for news of the latest mastodon hunt? Sadie smash.
     
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