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Candorville

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-21 Pub. Date: 2011-03-21
Image Number: 58861
Caption: Mainstream media. Can't I just tell you one more thing about Charlie Sheen? I SAID NO!!!
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-04 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-04 Pub. Date: 2011-03-04
Image Number: 21746
Caption: Breaking news! Scientists have discovered the meaning of lif- Click. …A zombie was apprehended after devouring several copy editors at the Candorville Chronicle today. Survivor Lem- Click. ..Were shocked when extraterrestrials made contact with- Click. "...Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiife..."
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-17 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-17 Pub. Date: 2011-01-17
Image Number: 56433
Caption: A judge was killed. A Congresswoman was shot. This isn't a time to point fingers. It's not the time to look at how our leaders' increasingly violent language has fomented a violent political climate. It's not the time to look at how people think it's ok to bring guns to political events. Well, when would be a good time to ... Sorry, gotta run, I'm outta time.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-03 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-03 Pub. Date: 2010-12-03
Image Number: 54754
Caption: People are adapting to the whole "total economic catastrophe" thing. … After a while, an empire's citizenry adapts to its decline. Take Rome, for instance: after a while, the news scrolls even had critics who'd rate every new barbarian incursion. Fear, Inc. Tacitus, do you have to ALWAYS compare everything to ancient Rome? This is why I don't like talking to you old-timers. The Great Eberticus gave the Visigoth Invasion two thumbs down.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-01 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-01 Pub. Date: 2010-10-01
Image Number: 52455
Caption: Death is just change, Clyde. And w -- Can I borrow two dollars? Do you mind? I was in the middle of a stirring monologue about death and change and fear of death and change! When you mentioned change, it reminded me I'm out of it. I'll loan you the $2 if you let me at least get to the part where I tie it all in to Fox News. $2.50.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-21 Pub. Date: 2010-07-21
Image Number: 49781
Caption: You … Stephen King … read MY work? I do. It's not like most journalism. Reporting is usually a litany of facts, but people need stories. Fiction. Your reporting is so ludicrous it reads like fiction. Um … thanks. IT'S SO FREAKING ABSURD!
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-17 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-17 Pub. Date: 2010-07-17
Image Number: 49542
Caption: twitter. Twitter.com/(No Suggestions). Turned on CNN. First words I heard were "dirty colonoscopy equipment." Turned off CNN.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-28 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-28 Pub. Date: 2010-05-28
Image Number: 47785
Caption: Can I get a quote from you for the story, Boss? Fire away, Brown. In retrospect, was letting Behemoth Oil do whatever they wanted in our basement a wise idea? Well, I weighted the pros and cons … The con was possible environmental calamity, which, y'know, that's pretty big. But it turns out a billion dollars weighs a lot.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-25 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-25 Pub. Date: 2010-05-25
Image Number: 47782
Caption: Before you leave, I need you to run down a breaking story. To bring in some extra dough, I let Behemoth Oil build a well in the basement of this very building. Say what? I suspect they weren't exactly diligent when it came to safety. Sir, why didn't you tell me about this earlier? It just now came up.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-24 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-24 Pub. Date: 2010-04-24
Image Number: 46587
Caption: So, how are you two getting along? Very well. Dr. Noodle Couple's Counseling. I discovered a cable news channel that sees the world exactly as I do. So now when I turn HER on, she never challenges me with inconvenient facts. Or ratings … I mean, our relationship ... is stronger than ever.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-20 Pub. Date: 2010-04-20
Image Number: 46437
Caption: The Civil War was not about slavery. It was about patriots fighting for limited government. (Click.) You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, Doctor. That green-blooded son of a BEEP! It's his revenge for all those arguments we lost. Turn it back to CNN, Lemont. Not until she starts making sense! Lemont, this is not the way -- (Click). I AM YOUR FATHER! I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-16 Pub. Date: 2010-01-16
Image Number: 42962
Caption: Twitter twitter.com/candorville. At Walmart, dude asks if I have a lighter. I reply "Depends. I'll have 2 check your underpants 1st." Turns out not every1 follows the news. Tap tap tap.
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-07 Pub. Date: 2010-01-07
Image Number: 42639
Caption: At the ad agency, Susan meets with Fox "News" … "Why won't you people (hic) lishun ta me?" The Crazy Guy in an Alley Show. Itsh very simple: gays want to fight in the armArmy. You know who hash arms? Alligators. Alligatorsh live in Florida. Cuba is near Florida. Florida is home to Cape Kennedy! Clearly, John F. Kennedy was behind the gay conshpiracy to convert our alligators to Communishm. I don't think I can sell this. We have to top "Glenn Beck" somehow. Am i the only one who sees this, pePeople?
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-06 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-06 Pub. Date: 2010-01-06
Image Number: 42638
Caption: Fear, Inc. I called you all here because the Fox "News" division is blowing you all out of the water. Figmond Trip, I'm looking at you. Your tea party division especially was a serious disappointment. Sir, I don't think that's fair. I mean, Mr. Armey and Ms. Bachmann had no chance against Fox's O'Reilly and Hannity. I mean, the three-legged race is stacked in their favor. Hannity's inhumanly quick. I suspect steroids, if you wanna know the truth. ... Um, we're not talking about last week's picnic, are we. Sit down, Figmond.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-05 Pub. Date: 2010-01-05
Image Number: 42637
Caption: Fear, Inc. 2009 turned out to be a banner year for our division. Fox News Channel. In fact, if it weren't for us, the company would've ended the year in the red. Did you say red? You know who really liked the color red? … KARL MARX. Everybody give a round of applause to the 2009 "Salesman of the Year," GLENN BECK! Know who else measured time in years? ... Nazis.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-19 Pub. Date: 2009-12-19
Image Number: 41950
Caption: In other news, the president is escalating the War in Afghanistan. This just in: thousands of Americans died this year for lack of health insurance. Zzzzz. In other news, Tiger Woods has SEX! Munch munch. Top story: thousands of Americans lost their jobs this month.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-18 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-18 Pub. Date: 2009-12-18
Image Number: 41949
Caption: … So I'm sick and tired of all this talk about Tiger Woods! He's just a guy who can hit a ball with a stick! He has no impact on my life or yours! For the love of God, somebody explain to me why the media thinks I care that Tiger Woods has a couple chicks on the side! Um ... actually, what I asked was, "Are you aware your best friend, Lemont is missing and no one's seen him for weeks?" And I thought the alleged mistress count was up to eight. Nine. ... What?
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-05 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-05 Pub. Date: 2009-12-05
Image Number: 41434
Caption: (a) No, I hadn't heard the recession was over, and (b) your house is on my foot.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-30 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-30 Pub. Date: 2009-10-30
Image Number: 40268
Caption: Hi, I'm David. I will be your kidnapper today. I'm Lemont Brown, a journalist. Nice to meet you. I'm at the forefront of Mexico's burgeoning "Kidnapping American Professionals" industry. Thriving U.S. companies pay me a lot of money to release their workers. Where should I send your ransom note? CNN? NBC? Well, I work for a newspaper. It's ... That was nice of them to give us 50 pesos. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-10 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-10 Pub. Date: 2009-08-10
Image Number: 37212
Caption: I'm back! How're you doing, Roxanne? How's Lionel? What nerve! While you were on vacation for a month, I had to raise Lionel all on my own. (a) I don't think he was RAISED in a month, and (b) I wasn't on vacation. I was held prisoner in an Iranian dungeon. Don't quibble. IT WAS ALL OVER THE NEWS!
     
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