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Candorville

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-13 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-13 Pub. Date: 2011-06-13
Image Number: 62123
Caption: Mainstream media. Can't I just say one more thing about Anthony Weiner's p -- I SAID NO!
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-31 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-31 Pub. Date: 2011-05-31
Image Number: 61585
Caption: So the judge says DNA testing my son is out of 'cause it violates Roxanne's religion. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the judge being Roxanne's mom. That's the bad news. I saved the good news for last. What's that? Mommy says you're getting railroaded! That does not mean what you think it means. I got us matching outfits.
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-27 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-27 Pub. Date: 2011-04-27
Image Number: 60245
Caption: It's all coming back to me, Doc. I was reporting on the Mexican drug cartels … then it all went wrong. I got kidnapped. I ignored warnings. I made a mistake. AND THE WORLD ENDED. Lemont? We're still here. If the world ended, how can that be? How can the sky glow after the sun as already set? How can smoke rise after the candle has already gone out? Yes, yes ... how can my tongue still taste all aluminum-y long after I finish the diet cola ... Leave the poetry to your patients.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-26 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-26 Pub. Date: 2011-03-26
Image Number: 58866
Caption: Mainstream media. Sometimes you talk about really serious things like -- JAPAN! QUAKE! TSUNAMI! THOUSANDS DEAD! That's what I mean. But other times you talk about really stupid things like cel -- CHARLIE SHEEN! CHARLIE SHEEN! CHARLIE SHEEN! … Um, yeah … but you talk about them both as if they're equally important. Kinda makes me tune you out after a while, you know? Unions are under attack! Prince William and Kate to get married!
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-23 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-23 Pub. Date: 2011-03-23
Image Number: 58863
Caption: What do you mean, what tsunami? The one in Japan! Don't you ever watch the news? No I don't watch the news. The news gonna tell me: politicians corrupt? Nature kill people? People kill people? Celebrities act like fools? Only the names and places change, but the story always the same: we fragile animals here for just a minute before we gone; and while we here, we sometimes wreak havoc, but sometimes we help each other. Only you can make ignorance sound wise. Thanks, dawg. But lots of people can do that.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-22 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-22 Pub. Date: 2011-03-22
Image Number: 58862
Caption: Where you been, Big L? Japan. The paper sent me to cover the search for survivors, after that huge tsunami. Did you bring me anything? Yes, I brought you an angry glare and a friend who can't believe even you could be that selfish at a time like this. Well I hope you saved the receipt, so I can exchange that @#$%.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-21 Pub. Date: 2011-03-21
Image Number: 58861
Caption: Mainstream media. Can't I just tell you one more thing about Charlie Sheen? I SAID NO!!!
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-04 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-04 Pub. Date: 2011-03-04
Image Number: 21746
Caption: Breaking news! Scientists have discovered the meaning of lif- Click. …A zombie was apprehended after devouring several copy editors at the Candorville Chronicle today. Survivor Lem- Click. ..Were shocked when extraterrestrials made contact with- Click. "...Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiife..."
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-17 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-17 Pub. Date: 2011-01-17
Image Number: 56433
Caption: A judge was killed. A Congresswoman was shot. This isn't a time to point fingers. It's not the time to look at how our leaders' increasingly violent language has fomented a violent political climate. It's not the time to look at how people think it's ok to bring guns to political events. Well, when would be a good time to ... Sorry, gotta run, I'm outta time.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-03 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-03 Pub. Date: 2010-12-03
Image Number: 54754
Caption: People are adapting to the whole "total economic catastrophe" thing. … After a while, an empire's citizenry adapts to its decline. Take Rome, for instance: after a while, the news scrolls even had critics who'd rate every new barbarian incursion. Fear, Inc. Tacitus, do you have to ALWAYS compare everything to ancient Rome? This is why I don't like talking to you old-timers. The Great Eberticus gave the Visigoth Invasion two thumbs down.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-01 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-01 Pub. Date: 2010-10-01
Image Number: 52455
Caption: Death is just change, Clyde. And w -- Can I borrow two dollars? Do you mind? I was in the middle of a stirring monologue about death and change and fear of death and change! When you mentioned change, it reminded me I'm out of it. I'll loan you the $2 if you let me at least get to the part where I tie it all in to Fox News. $2.50.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-21 Pub. Date: 2010-07-21
Image Number: 49781
Caption: You … Stephen King … read MY work? I do. It's not like most journalism. Reporting is usually a litany of facts, but people need stories. Fiction. Your reporting is so ludicrous it reads like fiction. Um … thanks. IT'S SO FREAKING ABSURD!
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-17 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-17 Pub. Date: 2010-07-17
Image Number: 49542
Caption: twitter. Twitter.com/(No Suggestions). Turned on CNN. First words I heard were "dirty colonoscopy equipment." Turned off CNN.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-28 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-28 Pub. Date: 2010-05-28
Image Number: 47785
Caption: Can I get a quote from you for the story, Boss? Fire away, Brown. In retrospect, was letting Behemoth Oil do whatever they wanted in our basement a wise idea? Well, I weighted the pros and cons … The con was possible environmental calamity, which, y'know, that's pretty big. But it turns out a billion dollars weighs a lot.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-25 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-25 Pub. Date: 2010-05-25
Image Number: 47782
Caption: Before you leave, I need you to run down a breaking story. To bring in some extra dough, I let Behemoth Oil build a well in the basement of this very building. Say what? I suspect they weren't exactly diligent when it came to safety. Sir, why didn't you tell me about this earlier? It just now came up.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-24 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-24 Pub. Date: 2010-04-24
Image Number: 46587
Caption: So, how are you two getting along? Very well. Dr. Noodle Couple's Counseling. I discovered a cable news channel that sees the world exactly as I do. So now when I turn HER on, she never challenges me with inconvenient facts. Or ratings … I mean, our relationship ... is stronger than ever.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-20 Pub. Date: 2010-04-20
Image Number: 46437
Caption: The Civil War was not about slavery. It was about patriots fighting for limited government. (Click.) You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, Doctor. That green-blooded son of a BEEP! It's his revenge for all those arguments we lost. Turn it back to CNN, Lemont. Not until she starts making sense! Lemont, this is not the way -- (Click). I AM YOUR FATHER! I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-16 Pub. Date: 2010-01-16
Image Number: 42962
Caption: Twitter twitter.com/candorville. At Walmart, dude asks if I have a lighter. I reply "Depends. I'll have 2 check your underpants 1st." Turns out not every1 follows the news. Tap tap tap.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-07 Pub. Date: 2010-01-07
Image Number: 42639
Caption: At the ad agency, Susan meets with Fox "News" … "Why won't you people (hic) lishun ta me?" The Crazy Guy in an Alley Show. Itsh very simple: gays want to fight in the armArmy. You know who hash arms? Alligators. Alligatorsh live in Florida. Cuba is near Florida. Florida is home to Cape Kennedy! Clearly, John F. Kennedy was behind the gay conshpiracy to convert our alligators to Communishm. I don't think I can sell this. We have to top "Glenn Beck" somehow. Am i the only one who sees this, pePeople?
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-06 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-06 Pub. Date: 2010-01-06
Image Number: 42638
Caption: Fear, Inc. I called you all here because the Fox "News" division is blowing you all out of the water. Figmond Trip, I'm looking at you. Your tea party division especially was a serious disappointment. Sir, I don't think that's fair. I mean, Mr. Armey and Ms. Bachmann had no chance against Fox's O'Reilly and Hannity. I mean, the three-legged race is stacked in their favor. Hannity's inhumanly quick. I suspect steroids, if you wanna know the truth. ... Um, we're not talking about last week's picnic, are we. Sit down, Figmond.
     
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