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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-19 Pub. Date: 2017-03-19
Image Number: 155130
Caption: Dear "journalist," I am offended by your biased hit-piece condemning so-called "Fake News." You wrote " … some of these sites' main sources seem to be their rear ends." Who are YOU to say what's fake and what's real? I don't know that your "sources" are any more "real" than my rear end. I know my rear end. I trust my rear end. You, on the other hand, are a total stranger to me. There's an old saying, doofus: "Truth is in the eye of the beholder." That's actually "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Oh, I suppose one of your "sources" told you that? Sad!
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-16 Pub. Date: 2017-03-16
Image Number: 155655
Caption: Everything's good. I'm happy doctor. Dr. Noodle. Excellent! That's great news! As long as your happiness is genuine. As long as its not actually denial. Or as long as it doesn't cause you to become complacent. Nope. Genuine happiness over here. Let's schedule an extra sessions so we can find out if that's the case. M.A.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-23 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-23 Pub. Date: 2017-02-23
Image Number: 154804
Caption: So, I won the American Press Foundation's Ambrose Award for Snarky Journalism. That's awesome, Lemont! Does it come with any prize money? Yeah, $2500! But I had to travel cross country to accept it in person. The plane tickets for Lionel and me were $600. The attire was "short-sleeved tuxedo," so I had to have one custom made for over $1000. Well, still ... prestigious. And you scored $900! Lionel's tux was $950.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-21 Pub. Date: 2017-02-21
Image Number: 154802
Caption: You remember Omarosa from "The Apprentice"? Well, she works in the Trump White House now. According to a Washington Post reporter, another reporter said Omarosa tried to bully her by telling her she was one of several journalists the White House was keeping "dossiers" on. Wow. And you're a journalist. I can see why you're upset, Lemont. I can totally see. it. what do I have to do to get them to blackmail me? I'm always getting left out. I need to get my eyes checked.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-02 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153974
Caption: Dick, I just got an angry call from Mr. Trump. He said I blew off the meeting. Didn't I tell you to reschedule the meeting for next week? If you're responsible for us losing a multi-million dollar account, Dick, you're … I'm not, ma'am. You told me not to reschedule the meeting. In alternate fact, you told me to take the afternoon off instead of making that call. "Alternate fact" is not actually a thing, Dick Fink. It's not my fault you don't watch the news, ma'am.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-30 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-30 Pub. Date: 2017-01-30
Image Number: 153971
Caption: This just in: President Trump has forbidden federal agencies from revealing information to the pub … Click … Toxic waste from an unknown source in neighboring Canardville may have leached into the Candorville reservoir, so do not … Click … May be an indication that the sun has exploded, but we won't detect it visually for another 8 minutes and 20 seconds. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-02 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-02 Pub. Date: 2017-01-02
Image Number: 152855
Caption: Thanks for walking me home, to protect me from all the thugs. Anytime, girl. Now it's your turn to walk me home. What do you mean? To protect me from all the cops. Dios mio. I ain't tryin' to be the next brutha on the news.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-31 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-31 Pub. Date: 2016-12-31
Image Number: 152629
Caption: 2016 wasn't no joke, bruh. Hundreds of unarmed people shot by police didn't even make the news … Thousands of unarmed people shot by civilians didn't make the news. You know what made the news? Rich people an' racists exploit the fears of average people to seize power. How that news, bruh? That's how it always been, ev'r since the Egyptians invented money. You're totally wrong. It was the Phoenicians.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-15 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-15 Pub. Date: 2016-11-15
Image Number: 151017
Caption: Don't do it, Lemont. On my earth, I reported EXACTLY what I saw on election night. I posted it ALL on my news site. I wrote about how all the people in this bar took Trump's win. But I also wrote about how this run-down hole in the wall is the nexus of the multiverse. Here, you'll run unto the other yous who've made different choices, who came from world's that made different choices. All the roads not taken lead here. I lost most of my readers, and the girl of my dreams took out a restraining order. On the bright side, I forgot all about that when I met dinosaur me.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-07 Pub. Date: 2016-11-07
Image Number: 150712
Caption: You've been in Canada six whole hours. When do I get to see you, Candorville? I can't wait any longer. How 'bout right now? I'm at the American Pub on Spite Street. It's a sketchy bar in the worst part of Gastown, where a bunch of American ex-pats and tourists can get together and act like they're still in the states. Censored you, you stupid liberal censored head! Censored my censored you censored Fascist! Wanna hang out with me while I cover election night for my news site? I can wait a little longer.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-20 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149907
Caption: Mr. Trump, a couple weeks ago, you said something outrageous and I want to give you a chance to clarify your thoughts. Vancouver Taxi. Listen, all I said was I kiss women and grab their junk without permission. What's the big deal? EVERY guy brags about how he sexually assaults broads. Trump. (A) I was referring to your comment about the "Central Park Five," and (B) ... No, no they don't!
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-19 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-19 Pub. Date: 2016-09-19
Image Number: 148761
Caption: We don't want any. We ain't sellin' any. We jus' spreadin' the good news. Oh. No offense, but we don't want Jehovah's Witnesses ringing our doorbell. Me neither. But … I thought you were saying you were a Jehovah's Witness. Never said that. Oh. We with Jehovah's Alibi.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-07 Pub. Date: 2016-09-07
Image Number: 148216
Caption: Good news, Lemont! I can watch your son for you while you're in Canada. What? You mean it? You won't be "washing your hair," or "having client meetings," or "visiting your aunt in Cameroon" … or any of the other reasons you've always given me for why you can never baby-sit? By "I," I mean Olga, the nanny I hired for while you're in Canada. Dios mio.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-06 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-06 Pub. Date: 2016-09-06
Image Number: 148215
Caption: This just in: Astronomers discover an earthlike planet orbiting the nearest star, Proxima Centauri. Click … Some are starting to question whether there's proof Donald Trump's grandfather immigrated from Germany. He could have come from anywhere. Click ... Proxima Centauri is just 4.24 light years away. In cosmic terms that's right next door. This end up.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-21 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-21 Pub. Date: 2016-07-21
Image Number: 146142
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you ok?! I dweamt Donald Twump was a mean-head. And then he came into my dweam and towd me I wath a "total woother," an' I should wethign my job as your baby. That's the last time I let you watch the news. You're not a "total loser," son. I don't have another job lined up.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-17 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-17 Pub. Date: 2016-06-17
Image Number: 144566
Caption: In the wake of what even Republicans have called blatantly racist comments, Donald Trump's campaign may be about to unrave … Click. Experts predict robots will take half of earth's jobs within 30 years. When we tried to reach those experts for comment, their phone lines all went dead. Click. It appears the newly discovered ninth planet is responsible for the comet showers that cause mass extinctions on earth every 26 million years. And we're due for another one right. Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiife ...
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-13 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-13 Pub. Date: 2016-06-13
Image Number: 144562
Caption: Trump Campaign. John Barron speaking. Hi, I'm Lemont Brown with the Candorville Post. Right, we cover news, culture, opinion … I'm sure you've heard of us. We have 300,000 readers every day online. Mr. Trump says he's never heard of you, you're a total loser, you're overrated, and nobody likes you. He also says you don't treat him fairly. Probably because you're black ... He'd like me to add that nobody loves the blacks more than he does. They're tremendous.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-02 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-02 Pub. Date: 2016-06-02
Image Number: 143921
Caption: Hi, San Francisco? This is Lemont Brown from Candorville.com, the news blog. You just announced people will be able to reserve a spot of grass in a public park. But they have to go on your website and pay up to $250. And if they sit on grass someone else paid for, they might get tossed out by security. I just have one question: Can people also reserve a spot in the growing gap between the rich and poor? Click. Can I quote you on that?
     
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