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Candorville

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201. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-24 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-24 Pub. Date: 2008-08-24
Image Number: 26019
Caption: Monday. Barack Obama! Up by eight points in the latest poll. What's this mean, Chuck? Everything Chris. Tuesday. After all, McCain's up by two points with only two months 'til the election. So… Wednesday. …Clearly, he's going to have a hard time catching Obama, whose lead is widening. Thursday. ...And since they're virtually tied in the latest poll... Friday. ...The Obama campaign must be panicking... Friday afternoon. ...Because Obama's lead at this point just might be insurmountable.
     
202. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-18 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-18 Pub. Date: 2008-08-18
Image Number: 26013
Caption: …And they're threatening to veto sanctions against Khartoum! …And it looks like… YES! YES THEY ARE… They're investing billions in Sudan! THEY'RE PROPPING UP THE BUTCHERS COMMITTING GENOCIDE IN DARFUR! They never shoulda gave the Olympics to China. Well, Brian, China's always been strong in the "supporting genocide" event.
     
203. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-27 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-27 Pub. Date: 2008-06-27
Image Number: 24481
Caption: Aaarchie, why're you so happy? I got a new job, Edith. There's more'n one fear manufacturing plant in town. I got some younger, hipper lingo from that - whatchacallit - interweb, an' another outfit snapped yours truly right up! What does it mean, "Obama's baby mama"? That one's mine! You're lookin' at a Fox News man, dingbat! Oh, Aarchie.
     
204. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-07 Pub. Date: 2008-05-07
Image Number: 23353
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. America is outraged by Martin Luther King Jr., who recently said this… "We've committed more war crimes almost than any nation in the world but God has a way of even putting nations in their place. Wolf, I don't think it's fair to form an opinion of a man based on a 10-second clip. Well, in fairness, Mr. Abernathy... ...we've played that clip 9,000 times, so it's more like a 25-hour clip. What?
     
205. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-31 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-31 Pub. Date: 2008-03-31
Image Number: 22675
Caption: OBAMA'S CRAZY BLACK PREACHER! SCARY BLACK MAN! SCARY SCARY BLACK MAN! 18,000 will die this year for lack of health care. More than 4,000 U.S. troops are dead in Iraq. Millions may lose their homes. Wait. …What? SCARY SCARY BLACK SCARY BLACK MAN!
     
206. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-29 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-29 Pub. Date: 2008-03-29
Image Number: 22467
Caption: Bad news. My-- editor won't publish your cartoons calling for better security for Abraham Lincoln. It's ok. I work for a newspaper too, 143 years from now. When we produce a society where editors and readers are afraid of discussing grave issues, we deserve the absolute hell that comes to us. Is everyone in the future this cheery? First they cancel "Journeyman," now THIS.
     
207. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-03-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-03-16 Pub. Date: 2008-03-16
Image Number: 22333
Caption: On today's SUNDAY MORNING POLITICAL SHOW, we discuss the public funding of presidential campaigns. Here to discuss this: Barack Obama from last month. Thanks, Bob. My campaign never made any specific pledge to accept public financing, so we don’t see a reason to forgo the contributions of millions of Americans. Our next guest: Barack Obama from February 2007. Hello, Bob. Bob, I will aggressively pursue an agreement with the Republican nominee to preserve a publicly financed general election. Bob, me from last year is an imposter. Possibly an extraterrestrial, or a clone. Bob, this Obama's been blinded by money.
     
208. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-09 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-09 Pub. Date: 2008-02-09
Image Number: 21720
Caption: In other news, Candorville's city auditor has refused to challenge last week's Liebold electronic voting machine results… …which handed victories to Clinton and Huckabee a full week before anyone even voted. "Elections are more a formality anyway," said the secretary. Wolf, how did we get to the point whe-- hold on, this just in, Day 57 and still no news about Paris Hilton doing anything dumb. Britney Spears has no comment.
     
209. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-07 Pub. Date: 2008-02-07
Image Number: 21593
Caption: Any moment, the economy's going to turn around, and you'll have me to thank. I spent the rest of that $600 check the government sent me. Bought a computer, some trousers, and toys for my kid. Just wait, my increased demand is going to lead to more jobs any second now. Meanwhile, in China... Ship to: U.S.A.
     
210. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-02 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-02 Pub. Date: 2008-02-02
Image Number: 21417
Caption: In other news, after coming in 15th in the Candorville primary… …the Giuliani Campaign has boldly changed its strategy. They've buried a time capsule with a note, asking patriots in the year 9008 to go back in time and tell them to actually campaign in the early states. When asked whether this is a mark of desperation, the campaign replied... "You have reached a number that has been disconnected for lack of payment." Wolf, that could mean a few things...
     
211. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-01 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-01 Pub. Date: 2008-02-01
Image Number: 21416
Caption: This just in: Dennis Kucinich is challenging Hillary Clinton's and Mike Huckabee's victories in the Candorville primary. Kucinich says the results from Liebold's electronic voting machines cannot be trusted. Liebold argues that huge discrepancies between today's vote and earlier polls are meaningless. Kucinich disagrees, saying quote: "The election isn't until next week."
     
212. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-30 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-30 Pub. Date: 2008-01-30
Image Number: 21414
Caption: Some experts are wondering if the Clinton campaign is trying to use racially charged code words against Barack Obama. Could saying a vote for Obama is "rolling the dice" and saying "you can't shuck and jive at a news conference" be racial? NURSE! MORPHINE! In other news, experts are wondering if snow is cold.
     
213. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-08 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-08 Pub. Date: 2008-01-08
Image Number: 21006
Caption: In other news, there was commotion in the White House Press Room today. Paulie, some Americans are wondering why the White House replaced its spokesperson with a trained parrot. SQWAWK. We don't comment on ongoing legal proceedings. SQWAAAWK. I didn't ask about a legal--. SQWAWK. It's old news. SQWAWK.
     
214. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-23 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-23 Pub. Date: 2007-12-23
Image Number: 20847
Caption: 2003. We've made good progress. Iraq is more secure. 2004. We're making steady progress. 2005. This is quiet, steady progress. 2006. Remarkable progress has been made. 2007. There's so much progress it's ridiculous. Mister, what's "progress" mean?
     
215. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-16 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-19 Pub. Date: 2007-12-16
Image Number: 20780
Caption: On today's Sunday Morning Political Show, the hot topic is EARMARKS, also known as "pork"… …the practice of allocating tax dollars for specific projects, even if they're unrelated to the overall funding bill. Here to condemn the practice, we have President Bush from last month. Bob, the DemocRAT Congress is spendin' like a teenager with a credit card. This earmarkin' of theirs is irresponsible an' wrong. Here to argue IN FAVOR of earmarks, we have President Bush from earlier that day. Bob, I obviously see nothin' wrong with earmarks. After all...I just stuck in $15 BILLION of 'em, includin' $9 million for my daddy's projects, an' $24 million for Laura's. Bob, me from earlier today is spendin' like a teenager with a credit card. I challenge me to say that to my face.
     
216. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-08 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-08 Pub. Date: 2007-12-08
Image Number: 20126
Caption: Tonight's top story: Day eight, and still no news coverage of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan. Let's go to our senior bimbologist. Brandon? It's chaos, Wolf. Several rehab clinics have already shut their doors… ..and many experts fear that I may have to start reporting on real news. Shocking.
     
217. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-07 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-07 Pub. Date: 2007-12-07
Image Number: 20125
Caption: I think I figured out why Foxxx News gets higher ratings than CNN or MSNBC. People prefer conservative voices? No, it's the NEWSMODELS. The what? The sexy anchors with the tiny skirts and all the cleavage. I don't even notice that stuff. Right. Me neither.
     
218. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-06 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-06 Pub. Date: 2007-12-06
Image Number: 20124
Caption: There's nothin' wrong with your cable, bruh. Then why can't I get Foxxx News? Looks like its your TV's v-chip. It blocks violence and smut. Were you watching "Girls Gone Wild" clips on the Bill O'Reilly Show? I watch it for the commentary, I swear! Whatever, dude.
     
219. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-01 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-01 Pub. Date: 2007-12-01
Image Number: 19720
Caption: This just in: For the second straight day, there's been no news coverage of Britney, Lindsay or Paris. Wolf, this is getting serious. None of them have endangered their kids, gone to rehab, been locked up or appeared in naughty videos. And watch this: our newscopter caught this crazy footage of Britney in her backyard. Munch munch. She appears to be watering it. The question, Wolf, is what does this MEAN?
     
220. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-11-30 news 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-11-30 Pub. Date: 2007-11-30
Image Number: 19719
Caption: BREAKING NEWS! There's been no news coverage today of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. Let's discuss this ASTOUNDING turn of events with our senior bimbologist, Brandon Blount. Wolf, this was totally unexpected.
     
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