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Candorville

Comics about mortgages and mortgaging.

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Result page:    2   (20 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-06 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-06 Pub. Date: 2019-01-06
Image Number: 175478
Caption: I'm thinking of buying an income property. That's 'cause I'm already paying one mortgage that I barely qualified for, so I didn't think I'd qualify for another. But YouTube videos told me I'm not supposed to get a new mortgage. I'm supposed to get a home equity line of credit, and use that heloc to pay cash for my investment property. A heloc is usually 80% of the equity a homeowner has in the home. And I have lots of equity. What's lots? 20% of what I bought it for. Wait ... didn't you buy your shack for $8,000? I can get a pretty sweet income property in Chernobyl for 80 percent of $8,000. But your heloc wouldn't be 80% of $8,000. It'd be 80% of 10% of $8,000. Yeah. I figured that out. That's why my realtor and I are scoping out underwater caves off the Siberian coast. That's why you wanted to borrow my scuba gear.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-04 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156466
Caption: Good game, Big L. You only put it in the wrong basket once. I was preoccupied, Clyde. Taxes are due. If I take too many deductions, my income'll look tiny and I won't qualify for a mortgage. I see, bruh. When we was kids, your excuse was "the sun was in my eyes." Also, I saw an unfamiliar mole and wondered if it was malignant.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-27 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-27 Pub. Date: 2017-03-27
Image Number: 156197
Caption: Are you still mad at me for not telling you I'm moving to Canada? Well, you don't have to be. I'm not moving. I called every mortgage broker Google knew, and I can't qualify for a mortgage. I'm self-employed. It's a lot harder for self-employed people to get loans. So can we just pretend I never mentioned I was leaving? OK. Glad we got that settled.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-27 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152625
Caption: No, momma, I don't think you should get a reverse mortgage. Why? Well, you know Steve Mnuchin, the guy Donald Trump appointed Treasury Secretary? The bank he ran used to convince old people to get reverse mortgages, then they foreclosed on a lot of those houses for the tiniest of reasons. They foreclosed on one home for an unpaid bill of 27 cents. Yes, I know Magnum P.I. said it's not a scam to steal your house. But if they have to SAY that ... (Sigh) ... Yes, momma, I know how you love Magnum P.I.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-15 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140510
Caption: The past couple years, I've been rejected for a mortgage, a car loan, a credit card, a Macy's card, Girl Scout cookies … How is it that identity thieves were just able to open six credit cards in my name, Clyde? Maybe I should get you to teach me how to steal my own identity. (A) I'm offended you assume I know how to do that ... an' (2) here's how you do it ...
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-18 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-18 Pub. Date: 2014-03-18
Image Number: 108864
Caption: The past couple years I've been rejected for a mortgage, a car loan, a credit card, a Macy's card, Girl Scout Cookies … How is that identity thieves were just able to open SIX credit cards in my name, Clyde? Maybe I should get you to teach me how to steal my own identity. (A) I'm offended you assume I know how to do that ... an' (2) Here's how you do it ...
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-15 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-15 Pub. Date: 2013-06-15
Image Number: 97914
Caption: Sara, we known each other what … 30 years? I've always been there for you, like that time that thing happened. And the other time, when that other thing happened. How can you refuse to co-sign a mortgage for me? I thought we was close. Susan. My name is SUSAN, Clyde. You sure about that? Thug 4 Life.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-09 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-09 Pub. Date: 2011-10-09
Image Number: 66121
Caption: Dr. Noodle. I earn as much as my brother, and he just bought a house. So I tried to buy one too only to find out I can't, because I'm self-employed. And lenders now won't give a mortgage because all my legitimate business deductions make it look like my income is a lot smaller than it really is. So I have two choices. Give up my business and get a full-time job, or stop taking deductions and owe the IRS $20 grand. Hmmm ... I see. Or I can get a cosigner. Well, it appears our time is up. It's only been two minutes. Speaking of which, how's your credit score?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-19 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-19 Pub. Date: 2009-04-19
Image Number: 31629
Caption: Foreclosed. Eviction. Mmmm. The City Times. We're out of business. Last good issue. Goodbye.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-25 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-25 Pub. Date: 2008-10-25
Image Number: 27505
Caption: You heard me, sell my GM stock and put it all in cardboard.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-12 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-12 Pub. Date: 2008-10-12
Image Number: 27225
Caption: Let's play house. You pretend the bank foreclosed on your home, and I'll challenge your right to vote 'cause you no longer have a local address.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-17 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-17 Pub. Date: 2008-02-17
Image Number: 21774
Caption: Here we have a huge stake in a lovely financial services corporation. This bedrock of American capitalism comes complete with the mortgage lenders, consumer credit cards, brokerage houses, and the economic security of the United States. Bidding starts at $20 billion. $20 billion! $30 billion! We have $30 billion. $30 billion going once... $30 billion going twice... SOLD, to the gentlemen from China for $30 billion. Now I know this isn't where they're auctioning off Captain Kirk's toupee. You want Room H360. Here we have a beautiful system of roads and bridges.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-02-08 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-02-08 Pub. Date: 2008-02-08
Image Number: 21594
Caption: Couldn't help but overhear. Must be humiliating. Huh? Economy's wrecked, millions jobless, millions in poverty, people losin' homes… …but instead of a long-term plan, government tosses you spare change hopin' you'll shut up an' go away. Almos' like they barely even see you. You hear something?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-14 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-14 Pub. Date: 2007-10-14
Image Number: 18930
Caption: Let's play house. I'll get a subprime loan for a house we can't afford, and you pack our stuff for when it's repossessed.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-29 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-29 Pub. Date: 2007-08-29
Image Number: 18403
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I took out a sub-prime loan for a huge house, even though I only work part time at burger queen. Now I can't afford to pay it back. What should I do? Burn the house down, collect the insurance money and flee to Mexico, son! Can't I just secretly take out a mortgage on my mom's house? Dude. That'd just be wrong.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-01 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-01 Pub. Date: 2007-08-01
Image Number: 18086
Caption: Hey bro, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Melissa. Ok, where is she? What're you, blind? She's right here. We met on Myspace. Isn't she hot? Note to self: No internet dating. Snookums, I might need help with my mortgage.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-01-14 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-03-20 Pub. Date: 2005-01-14
Image Number: 9885
Caption: Hello, you've reached Well Fraggo Bank. To apply for a home loan, please press one now....
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-01-15 mortgage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-03-20 Pub. Date: 2005-01-15
Image Number: 9886
Caption: What do you mean my credit score is too low? I've always had perfect credit! I pay off my credit card every month! ....
     
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