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Candorville

Comics about middles.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-20 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-20 Pub. Date: 2019-10-20
Image Number: 179913
Caption: You already finished your bucket list, Clyde? That's right. But … you're only midway through life. Read the last item on that list. Make it midway through life. Wait … there are only two other items on here. Get it started, and Let it ride. E'rething else just details, bruh. the truth of the story lies in the details. - Paul Auster. The strength of the alibi likes in the lack of details - C-Dog.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-10 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-10 Pub. Date: 2019-10-10
Image Number: 179807
Caption: Lately I've been thinking about quitting the agency and starting a Folklorico dance group. Say what? Remember how much I loved being in Ensables Ballet Folklorico back in college? Yeah. I was really good at it, too. And I don't think I've ever felt as happy as I did on stage. Maybe this is just your midlife crisis talking. Mumblety - three is NOT midlife anymore!!! If you say so.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-17 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-17 Pub. Date: 2019-06-17
Image Number: 178142
Caption: White supremacist moves into town … Florida teen accused of posing as a doctor. Denies diagnosing patients … Middle school teacher secretly ran white supremacist podcast … AR-15 rifles to protect crops from hogs … What on earth do you Google that makes youtube think you want to watch all that? The most inbred people of all time.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-07 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-07 Pub. Date: 2019-02-07
Image Number: 176173
Caption: Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-06 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-06 Pub. Date: 2019-02-06
Image Number: 176172
Caption: What was life really like in the Middle Ages, Sadie? A lot like today. There were a tiny handful of filthy rich feudal lords, and a huge mass of poor peasants who were too ignorant to see what was going on. What? No, I didn't really want to learn anything, I was just calling you old. Let's try again ... How did the sky over your house look after that asteroid wiped out all the dinosaurs? It looked brown. A lot like today.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-04 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-04 Pub. Date: 2019-02-04
Image Number: 176170
Caption: I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-11 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-11 Pub. Date: 2019-01-11
Image Number: 175740
Caption: I can't believe it's so cold all of a sudden. What ever happened to global warming, am I right? It's freezing today, in the middle of winter. That proves all those global warming scientists are total frauds. Stop trying to push my buttons! Science shmience.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-26 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-26 Pub. Date: 2018-10-26
Image Number: 174604
Caption: 'Sup, Big L?* *We now have more years behind us than we have ahead of us. What's up, Clyde?* *Yeah. I used to feel I'd have time to see everything there was to see 'cause I was going to live forever. Cough cough?* *I'm not ready to grow old, Lemont. Yawn* *I don't know how to cope with it either.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-11 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172212
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-06 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-06 Pub. Date: 2018-06-06
Image Number: 172070
Caption: I heard a loud, mysterious boom last night, Tyrone. As have people all over the world, Rosencrantz. Earthquakes where there should be none. Loud booms of unascertained origin. The masses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the earth itself. Or ... it could be that when you thought me asleep, you donned ballet shoes, crept to the middle of the alley and began twirling and dancing and accidentally leapt a grand jete into the dumpster ... it could've been that. What a man does in an alley, stays in the alley.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-16 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-16 Pub. Date: 2017-08-16
Image Number: 161533
Caption: You know what? If we ever create faster-than-light travel, we can prove whether Jesus existed. We found a planet orbiting a star in the Cygnus constellation 2,000 light years away. That means if we were there right now, we could peer back at earth through a super-powerful telescope and see events that happened 2,000 years ago. If Jesus were real, we could see him going about his business: performing miracles ... coming back from the dead ... picking his nose ... He never would've done that, Lemont. You know how much dust there is in the Middle East?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-02 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 159209
Caption: You ever think maybe the world would've been better off if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Seriously? You gonna say that right before the Fourth of July? It's just a thought experiment. You scared of thought experiments? C-Dog ain't scared of nothin'. All right. Let's say France never helped us win the revolution. We'd have lost. Britain probably still would've freed the slaves in 1833, so ... No civil war. No backlash to reconstruction, so ... no KKK. France wouldn't have drowned in debt. Their monarchy would've lasted longer, so ... no Napoleon. No Napoleon, no threat uniting German nationalists, so ... no World War I or II ... no Hitler. No Manifest Destiny, so no genocide of Native Americans. The UK wouldn't have turned to the Middle East and Africa to replace its lost holdings, so ... no carving up the Ottoman Empire, no chaos in the Middle East, and no ISIS. Bruh ... if you don't wanna loan me $20 for fireworks, just say so. We'd probably still have black licorice. No getting around that.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-26 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-26 Pub. Date: 2017-05-26
Image Number: 158344
Caption: … So Ace Peerless and I were parasailing, and out of nowhere, he took out his knife, cut his cords, and plummeted into the ocean. Of all the times I've had men run out in the middle of an argument, that was by far the most annoying. Susan, I said my old college roommate Rudy Park is a Russian spy, and a federal agent put me on a plane to Moscow to follow him and expose how he's helping Putin blackmail the president! Not being heard. That is my biggest pet peeve, Lemont. Ace knows that. Could you pick my son up from daycare?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-30 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156792
Caption: What brings you to therapy … "Steve"? I feel like everything is slipping out of my clutches. Dr. Noodle. I spent years cozying up to the boss, isolating him from the advice of others, stoking his paranoia. I subtly convinced him that everyone was against him and that he could trust no one but me and his family, and even they were a little fishy. I had him in the palm of my hand. I said "buy," he bought. I said "sell," he sold. I said "destroy," and he ruined the lives of the people I said were his enemies. I was the most powerful man in the world! I was the man behind the throne! Did I say I charge $100 an hour? I meant to say $1,000. But then I made the mistake of turning off his tv in the middle of Finding Dory. It's his favorite movie.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-18 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-18 Pub. Date: 2017-04-18
Image Number: 157013
Caption: List of places a brotha ain't gotta visit before he die be getting' longer, Big L. Florida, 'cause of "Stand Your Ground" … Chicago 'cause of all them gunfights … the whole Middle East 'cause of Isis 'n' them … I should name the list an' trademark it. Lotta people be leavin' money on the table when they don't trademark. "Bucket List" would've been worth millions. Whachoo got that rhymes with "Bucket List"?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-23 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-23 Pub. Date: 2016-12-23
Image Number: 152373
Caption: I realized Christmas was a bunch of nonsense when we was kids, Big L. You know why? 'Cause of all the snow. Reindeer in the snow. Pine trees in the snow. Fat Santa in the snow. But Jesus was from the Middle East, dawg. The Middle East where it's hot. That's why I decorate my tree with hummus. There wasn't nary a snowflake in the bible, bruh.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-08 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-08 Pub. Date: 2016-04-08
Image Number: 141505
Caption: What are the most important issues facing the working class? The what? The working class. And poor folks. Oh. Yeah. Of course. Mainstream media. White working class anger is fueling Trump's rise. These people fear a genocide of white working class people is coming. Mainstream media. No, I mean tell me about actual, non-Trump-related issues working class people have to deal with. Trump's opponent claims to be a "working class" hero. Mainstream media.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-29 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-29 Pub. Date: 2015-07-29
Image Number: 130316
Caption: Hey momma, remember my roommate from college? Yeah, the one with the poodle. Well guess what … He joined ISIS. Can you believe that? He's a despicable terrorist now. So can you please stop giving me a hard time about only calling you once or twice a week? I mean, at least I'm not rampaging across the Middle East slaughtering people and destroying ancient ruins. ... Hello?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-21 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-21 Pub. Date: 2015-06-21
Image Number: 128073
Caption: I've done a lot of things in my life, doc. I'm a firm believer in sampling everything life has to offer. Dr. Noodle … Except for prison. I don't need to know what being imprisoned is like … or visiting the Middle East. I don't really need to end up in an orange jumpsuit ... or bug-eating. No offense to the rest of the world, but that's just nasty ... or flyfishing ... or pipe-smoking ... or body-piercing ... or alligator-wrestling ... or Jazzercise ... You're being awfully negative. Why don't we try focusing on the things you DO like to do? I don't like being negative.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-13 middle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-13 Pub. Date: 2015-04-13
Image Number: 125562
Caption: This country hopelessly broken, dawg. When that middle-aged brotha Walter Scott got shot down in the back like a dog, an' it was all caught on video … I thought "this time, ain't NOBODY gonna say the black man deserved it." I told you, whenever the police shoot an unarmed black man, stay off the internet. How anyone s'posed to stay off the net THAT often?
     
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