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Candorville

Comics about messages and messaging.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-18 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-18 Pub. Date: 2019-08-18
Image Number: 178993
Caption: Kelly messaged me again. After a year of silence. She sent me a photo of an ice cube tray. No words or anything. Just the photo. Dr. Noodle. How did that make you feel? Like she was trying to tell me something. So I studied the picture for a long time. And then it occurred to me: I'd seen that ice cube tray before! it was mine! In my freshman year of college, she stole it and refused to give it back. I see. What do you think this means? I think it means she still loves me with the same passion she felt for me back then, and that she wants me to drop everything and fly to her and run off with her into the sunset. Sometimes, narcissists will play games just to make sure others are thing about the ... When I asked what it meant, she said That hurts and blocked me!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-17 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-17 Pub. Date: 2019-05-17
Image Number: 177624
Caption: Why on earth would anyone want prisoners and ex-cons to vote?! What kind of message does that send to thugs hoodlums and murderers? Do you have any idea how many crimes have been avoided because the thuggish, homicidal maniac realized he might jeopardize his right to vote? Zero. I don't mean how many as in numbers. Don't be so literal. Sorry.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-28 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-28 Pub. Date: 2018-12-28
Image Number: 175588
Caption: Huh? What do you mean lost my mind? I read your article where you put Facebook on blast … You said they was givin' companies access to read, write and delete people private messages an' whatnot … but the next day, you sent me a private message sayin' Disregard my article, I was wrong and I'm a total fraud. What the -- I never wrote anything like that!! Your message said your alcoholism might make you forgetful.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-27 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-27 Pub. Date: 2018-12-27
Image Number: 175587
Caption: Sometimes being a journalist is really frustrating, Clyde. Take this Facebook story … My sources told me they were letting companies like Netflix and Spotify read, write and delete people's private messages. I asked all three companies if it was true, and all three weaseled out of answering. It's just like when I ask friends if they're ready to repay the $2 I loaned them, and ... Clyde?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-26 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-26 Pub. Date: 2018-12-26
Image Number: 175586
Caption: This is Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg speaking. Hi. I'm publishing a story tomorrow about how you were letting companies like Netflix and Spotify read private messages. Do you admit that you did that? Facebook's partners don't get to ignore people's privacy settings, and it's wrong to suggest that they do. It's a yes or no question. We are focused on developing clearer policies.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-17 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-17 Pub. Date: 2018-12-17
Image Number: 175479
Caption: Hello, you’ve reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because nobody is ever at home anymore. You can reach me on my cellphone. Probably literally. I sleep with it. It comforts me at night. I think I need help, is what I'm saying.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-14 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-14 Pub. Date: 2018-12-14
Image Number: 175379
Caption: PhD. M.A. Couple's therapy. Tell her I'm sick and tired of her telling you to tell me things she could tell herself.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-11 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-11 Pub. Date: 2018-10-11
Image Number: 174390
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have to regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call Momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleaning. Just saying.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-06 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-06 Pub. Date: 2018-10-06
Image Number: 174293
Caption: So … you took it pretty hard when Judge Boosie Groperman got confirmed for the state Supreme Court. No I didn't. It's just … his supporters kept saying a man shouldn't be held responsible for what he did when he was seventeen. They got their way. And that sent a message. That's all I'm saying. I still don't agree that we should put all 17-year-olds on house arrest, Lemont. They got the green light. It's us against them, now.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-10 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-10 Pub. Date: 2018-08-10
Image Number: 173377
Caption: Hello congressional candidate, your robocall has reached the home of a registered voter. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out searching for the nonexistent job your party promised you'd deliver last time you ran for office. I'm Lemont Brown. And I approved this message.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-12 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-12 Pub. Date: 2018-07-12
Image Number: 172716
Caption: It the internment camp for refugees from the Canardville sinkhole. We're gonna be fine, Sadie. I got the word out. How, dimwit? I always carry a burner phone hidden don't-ask-where. I tweeted, Snap-chatted, Raftred, Plurked and Instagrammed. I see. SPEAK ENGLISH, DORK-BOY. I even kept it old-school adn dropped a pin to a journalist I know. What you care to see how I drop a pin?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-24 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168665
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-19 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-19 Pub. Date: 2017-11-19
Image Number: 164467
Caption: Great-looking hair, made easy. Just dye. We now return to our program. How much time do I have to save the kitten, bring Timmy his inhaler, and defuse the nuclear bomb? You have a lot less time than you did before you started that sentence. We'll be back after these messages ... I'm rally psyched Little Tyrant Pizza's bringing the flavor with its new pecan guacamole dipping sauce! A guy, a beach, a skateboard. A girl bouncing in slow motion. And these corn chips that have nothing to do with any of that. Buy them. Six other commercials that go on so long that you don't remember what show you're watching. Going back to Netflixing everything. And now back to our show ... What were we doing? Defusing something or other, I think.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-23 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-23 Pub. Date: 2017-10-23
Image Number: 164147
Caption: I read your blog post about that dad who didn't make his kid apologize for bullying your kid. I never understood the point of makin' a kid say words he don't mean. How that gonna help the situation? What you need to do is hire a bigger kid to pull that bully's drawers up over his head. Revenge is never the answer, Clyde. If he wake up an' find his teddy bear's head on the pillow next to him, he'd get the message.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-04 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-04 Pub. Date: 2017-09-04
Image Number: 162342
Caption: Hello, momma. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I let myself in, and I'm standing right behind you with a big bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, all for you … unless I got stuck in traffic, in which case forget you heard this. Beep.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-10 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-10 Pub. Date: 2017-06-10
Image Number: 158830
Caption: Turns out we're going to land at the North Pole after all. We're out of fuel. But you said the airport melted. We have no choice. President Trump bombed the only other landing strip we could've used, to send a message to the dictator Santa Clause. We would've used a landing strip to send a message to the dictator? No, no ... Trump bombed it to send a message. You need to work on your grammar. Not the point.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-07 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-07 Pub. Date: 2017-01-07
Image Number: 152860
Caption: Hello, wrong number, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Yes, I am absolutely sure I'm not the person you're trying to call. Feel free to call back a third time just in case I've realized I actually AM the person I'm not. Beep.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-19 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-19 Pub. Date: 2016-10-19
Image Number: 149906
Caption: Hello, journalist, you've reached the campaign of Donald Trump. Vancouver International Airport. If you've criticized Mr. Trump in the past, press "one," you overrated, no-talent hack. Taxi queue. If you've showered him with praise, press "two," you decent, talented credit to your profession. Boop. You've pressed "two." Your interview may now commence ... Hello? This is Trump. "One" and "two" are so close together.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-15 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-15 Pub. Date: 2016-10-15
Image Number: 149614
Caption: It's been a year since that magical night we spent near the lighthouse, and in jail … but Vancouver and I have been texting and Skyping almost every day since. Now I’m going to see her again in just six hours. I bet there'll be actual electricity when we touch. It's good that you're tempering your expectations.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-24 message 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-24 Pub. Date: 2016-09-24
Image Number: 148766
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Paying 30% interest on the bus ticket you helped me buy 20 years ago is more important to me than survival. So I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy bundling all my cash to send to you instead of using it to feed my child, pay my rent and keep my lights on. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm done making money appear out of thin air. Beep.
     
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