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Candorville

Comics about things that are mental .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-15 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-15 Pub. Date: 2019-06-15
Image Number: 178025
Caption: I've totally forgotten why I ever started coming here. Dr. Noodle. I guess that means I'm cured, right? I mean, whatever it was, it must not be bothering me anymore. M.A. Actually, it's more likely you've repressed the memory. Stored it away where it can't hurt you ... or so you think. But don't worry, with an extra session per week, we can tackle this setback together. I'm going to miss you, Doc.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-31 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-31 Pub. Date: 2019-05-31
Image Number: 177797
Caption: 1982. Mr. Barnhouse must've really liked my art project. He said I should dedicate my whole entire life to it. It's a snow globe. And inside the snow globe is a little boy named Tommy Westphall. And Tommy is holding a tiny snow globe of his own. And inside Tommy's snow globe is an entire universe filled with people who each secretly have their own snow globes. And so on. I'm not sure Lemont, you should be committed for life means what you think it means. Mr. Barnhouse backed away slowly when he said it. That's a sign of respect.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-09 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-09 Pub. Date: 2018-08-09
Image Number: 173376
Caption: twitter. Sassynic: Jumping jacks … have those ever been considered a real exercise? They seem so … fake to me. They're the breast implants of exercises. Candorville: If a caveman saw all the glowing, blinking devices in my room he'd flip out. I'd hate 2 see what he'd do if he saw my bills for all of them. I don't understand, what's this have to do with you deciding you no longer need counseling? I'm cured! All the voices in my head have been crowded out by all the voices in my phone.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-10 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171944
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-08 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169718
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-27 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-27 Pub. Date: 2017-11-27
Image Number: 165417
Caption: How's your mom, Lemont? She's great. That's good, that's good. How 'bout mentally? She's not forgetting your name … not forgetting how she got to your house … not calling you "Delfina"? Um … how's your mom, Susan? Fine, nothing's wrong. At all. Susan … you know you can tell me anything. "Anything." ... Yeah, you were right. Well, gotta go.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-16 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-16 Pub. Date: 2017-09-16
Image Number: 162602
Caption: Everyone goes through this at one time or another, Lemont. It's important not to worry about what other people think of you, if you know you're doing the right thing. It's important to get to a place of self-confidence. Self-assurance. Peace. Whatever. I still think your new "get your 10th psychosis treated free" punchcards make you look tacky. And yet I'm at peace with that.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-28 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-28 Pub. Date: 2017-07-28
Image Number: 160761
Caption: So … how are things going with you and Ace Peerless? Who wholess? Your boyfriend. Ace. He called me before I left Russia, and asked for the best way to propose to you. I said "One word: Balloons." I don't know this "Ace Peerless" of whom you speak. Have you ever thought of seeing a therapist about your commitment issues? No way. They want you to keep coming back.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-17 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155656
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A man laughed at me when I asked for help. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-16 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-16 Pub. Date: 2017-03-16
Image Number: 155655
Caption: Everything's good. I'm happy doctor. Dr. Noodle. Excellent! That's great news! As long as your happiness is genuine. As long as its not actually denial. Or as long as it doesn't cause you to become complacent. Nope. Genuine happiness over here. Let's schedule an extra sessions so we can find out if that's the case. M.A.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-07 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-07 Pub. Date: 2016-05-07
Image Number: 142723
Caption: The therapist told me I have to go to sleep tonight, even if I have that dream I've been trying not to have. He said some nonsense about how I have to face my fears or else they'll become "phobias." Doctors are always making things sound worse than they are. Since when has an all-encompassing, debilitating fear been such a big deal?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-31 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-31 Pub. Date: 2016-03-31
Image Number: 141136
Caption: You WANT to sleep, son. You know why? Because your dreams are waiting for you. As soon as you sleep, you'll be running through a big, wide field of grass, playing tag with Kermit the Frog. Then you'll be soaring up in the clouds with the birdies and with a flying unicorn. Then you'll be driving a big red fire truck on the rings of Saturn. Your dreams are the only place you can do these things without the authorities taking you away ... Zzzz ...
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-13 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-13 Pub. Date: 2016-03-13
Image Number: 139909
Caption: It all started with my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandpappy, Ezekiel Goodhusband. Dr. Noodle. Ezekiel was the courtroom sketch artist at the Salem Witch Trials. He drew a particularly unflattering likeness of Hezekiah Usher II. Hezekiah was later acquitted. But as poor Ezekiel would soon learn, Hezekiah actually was a witch. Hezekiah cursed Ezekiel and all his descendants. On our thirtieth birthdays, we all turn invisible ... forced to live out our lives in obscurity ... our needs, our contributions, our dreams and our worth going totally unnoticed. There's no upside here. Either I need anti-psychotics ... or you're lying naked on my couch. See? We're supposed to be talking about me!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-25 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-25 Pub. Date: 2016-02-25
Image Number: 139563
Caption: Don’t tell nobody, but … I been feelin' empty inside. Went to see a doctor 'bout it. He say I ain't sick or nothin'. He say I'm just LONELY. How could C-Dog be lonely? C-Dog know e'rebody on the block. Yeah, but does anyone really know YOU? All you ever share with other people is a whole lot of sarcasm. The operative part of "sarcasm" is "chasm." You must be Doctor Phil, cause Oprah have more hair. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-06).
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-23 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139561
Caption: What are your symptoms, Mr. Dogg? Emptiness, hollowness … Lack of appetite … Loss of interest in stuff I used to like … … An jus' today I felt somethin' I ain't never felt before. I actually … well … this is completely confidential, right? Yes. I … I actually cared what someone thought of me. We'll run some tests. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-04).
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-11 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-11 Pub. Date: 2016-02-11
Image Number: 138874
Caption: Dick, when I got to work today, everything in my office had been moved a few inches to the left. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. I don't know what you mean, Ms. Garcia. You sound like you're imagining things. Maybe you need to take some time off. I could take over your client list while you're recuperating. Just to help out. No thanks, Dick. I'll be fine. You're excused. You sure? I could book you a relaxing cruise to Syria.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-01 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-01 Pub. Date: 2015-11-01
Image Number: 134209
Caption: I was supposed to give a speech in Omaha. I spent months perfecting my Powerpoint. Dr. Noodle. When I got there, there was no monitor. No projector. Nothing. But that's ok, that's happened before. I asked if they had an easel and paper so I could draw charts on the fly. They gave me an 8.5"x11" notepad. 800 people in a huge room can't see anything on an 8.5"x11" notepad. I said "That's ok. I've got some funny stories." But when I got on stage, there was no microphone. Stories aren't usually funny when you yell them. Is that when you knocked over the podium, got arrested, and they put you on 72-hour psych hold? No. That's when they served cake, and I thought "I have to compete with cake? Nobody can compete with cake."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-24 mental 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-24 Pub. Date: 2015-07-24
Image Number: 129960
Caption: Lately I've been starting to question my own sanity, doc. Dr. Noodle. Is the world I see around me real? Is my blog really successful? Did Donald Trump really call me "a naïve and short man" while I interviewed him? Or am I imagining it all? Have I created a "Matrix" for myself? A comforting alternate reality? I say your Trump interview, and he really did call you "a naive and short man". Congrats. But how do I know you really just said that?
     
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