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281. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-16 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-16 Pub. Date: 2010-01-16
Image Number: 42962
Caption: Twitter twitter.com/candorville. At Walmart, dude asks if I have a lighter. I reply "Depends. I'll have 2 check your underpants 1st." Turns out not every1 follows the news. Tap tap tap.
     
282. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-06 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-06 Pub. Date: 2010-01-06
Image Number: 42638
Caption: Fear, Inc. I called you all here because the Fox "News" division is blowing you all out of the water. Figmond Trip, I'm looking at you. Your tea party division especially was a serious disappointment. Sir, I don't think that's fair. I mean, Mr. Armey and Ms. Bachmann had no chance against Fox's O'Reilly and Hannity. I mean, the three-legged race is stacked in their favor. Hannity's inhumanly quick. I suspect steroids, if you wanna know the truth. ... Um, we're not talking about last week's picnic, are we. Sit down, Figmond.
     
283. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-05 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-05 Pub. Date: 2010-01-05
Image Number: 42637
Caption: Fear, Inc. 2009 turned out to be a banner year for our division. Fox News Channel. In fact, if it weren't for us, the company would've ended the year in the red. Did you say red? You know who really liked the color red? … KARL MARX. Everybody give a round of applause to the 2009 "Salesman of the Year," GLENN BECK! Know who else measured time in years? ... Nazis.
     
284. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-26 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-26 Pub. Date: 2009-12-26
Image Number: 42237
Caption: Twitter. I heard that, for some unknown reason, the inventor of the hammock never got around to patenting it. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
285. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-24 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-24 Pub. Date: 2009-12-24
Image Number: 42235
Caption: Lemont investigates the thousands of murders in Juarez. Lemont Brown, may I introduce you to the infamous La Llorona. La Llorona has haunted this town for hundreds of years, tirelessly stealing the souls of little children. Those empty, soulless kids grow up to become savage killers for the drug cartels. La Llorona, may I introduce you to Lemont Brown. Lemont works for the media. Always nice to meet a colleague. Everyone's a satirist.
     
286. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-18 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-18 Pub. Date: 2009-12-18
Image Number: 41949
Caption: … So I'm sick and tired of all this talk about Tiger Woods! He's just a guy who can hit a ball with a stick! He has no impact on my life or yours! For the love of God, somebody explain to me why the media thinks I care that Tiger Woods has a couple chicks on the side! Um ... actually, what I asked was, "Are you aware your best friend, Lemont is missing and no one's seen him for weeks?" And I thought the alleged mistress count was up to eight. Nine. ... What?
     
287. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-08 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-08 Pub. Date: 2009-12-08
Image Number: 41700
Caption: We're back with Lemont Brown, award-winning reporter for the Candorville Chronicle. Before we get back to talking about your new book, I just want to remind you I'm a screeching windbag hate-radio host … … who'll ask what you think about people choosing hate radio and the web over your elitist, dying newspaper industry ... Good to meet you. ... and then I'll taunt you with my latest ratings.
     
288. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-25 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-25 Pub. Date: 2009-10-25
Image Number: 39862
Caption: It's blank. Look again. See? See what? Too many people let the media do their thinking for them. We tell them when to be outrage, who to trust, what to care about. What to laugh or cry about. It never ends. … Until now. I'm not following. Nature abhors a vacuum. When readers see this empty space where my article should be, they'll fill it with their own opinions, beliefs and conclusions. Eh? ... Eh? You've been trying that one since kindergarten. Stupid deadlines.
     
289. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-14 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-14 Pub. Date: 2009-09-14
Image Number: 38468
Caption: You have mail. Hi Mr. White, I'm uploading my new column for tomorrow's paper right now! That way you can go home on time for once so you don't continue to alienate your wife and children. Also, in my spare time I baked you a cake. Your pal, Lemont.
     
290. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-06 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-06 Pub. Date: 2009-09-06
Image Number: 38003
Caption: VH1 presents Where are They Now? The Some People Story. It was the mid-2000's. Politicians across the country relied on him. There wasn't a press conference around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. I sound wise compared to him. And for one brief fearmongering season, the strawman called "some people" was at the top of his game. I've forgotten 9-11. I want to hug terrorists. But as often happens in the cutthroat false argument business, his star began to dim. I want to take your guns. Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. He came into the bar already drunk, talkin' 'bout nobody's scared of him no more and no one takes 'im seriously. Bartender. ... an' I was like "bruh, you're bringin' down the whole room." Very bad tipper, too. But then, in his darkest hour, some people makes a surprising comeback. AFTER THESE MESSAGES...
     
291. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-15 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-15 Pub. Date: 2009-07-15
Image Number: 36191
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. Trying 2 interview Basij, Iran's secret police. But Basij only paying attention 2 people in green. Will put on green hat 2 get their attention. Don't do that! They don't see me. Raising hand, like at press conferences. No! Stop it with the hand! Basij running over for interview. Will start w/ softball question 2 form bond. Dios mio!!
     
292. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-14 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-14 Pub. Date: 2009-07-14
Image Number: 36190
Caption: So, Mr. Mousavi. Leader of Iran's "Green Revolution." The entire free world has invested its hopes for a better Middle East in you. … Why? Because I share the same yearning for individual liberty as you, I suppose. In the words of your own Founding Fathers ... Give me something approximating slightly greater liberty, or give me death!!! Inspiring. We'll be seeking permits for any future protests.
     
293. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-13 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-13 Pub. Date: 2009-07-13
Image Number: 36189
Caption: Iran. Two weeks ago. What're you doing here? Covering the big story. Don't interrupt. Boom! Bam! Aaah. Sorry. He's rude. Continue. My sisters are still fighting in the streets for our voice to be heard. And the tyrants are still killing us. Bam! But the world has a short attention span. I am afraid the world will soon move on and forget all about us. Pow! Death to tyrants! God is great! Ouch! Again, you're avoiding my question: How did Michael Jackson's death affect you? Aaaah! Nooo! Oh dear, God!
     
294. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-11 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-11 Pub. Date: 2009-07-11
Image Number: 35973
Caption: Lemont calls the paper. What do you mean James Olsen's not in? I need to know if he got those Iran protest stories I filed. … What do you mean "elbow strain"? … Yes, I know Michael Jackson died. What's that have to -- Every editorial cartoonist in the country sent drawings of Michael Jackson moonwalking through the pearly gates. Mr. Olsen started shouting "Lazy! Cloying! Aaarggh!" Wha -- you're breakin' up. It sounded like you said "He personally beat them all down with a sock full of quarters."
     
295. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-12 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-12 Pub. Date: 2009-06-12
Image Number: 35003
Caption: I don't trust that Latina Judge Obama appointed to the Supreme Court. She was a member of La Raza! Republicans are right, La Raza is "a Latino KKK without the hoods or the nooses." ...Or the violence or the preaching of racial superiority. Other than tha-- oh, and without the long history of terrorism. Other than that, it's exactly the same.
     
296. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-11 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-11 Pub. Date: 2009-06-11
Image Number: 35002
Caption: Mainstream Media. Obama's Latina Supreme Court nominee said she thinks a Latina woman could make wiser rulings than a White man. …About race and sex discrimination cases. Wait… What was that? SOME very few PEOPLE ARE CALLING HER A BIGOT!
     
297. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-28 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-28 Pub. Date: 2009-05-28
Image Number: 34377
Caption: Dear Annie, my father-in-law said I'm not man enough for his little girl. So I showed him one of my epithelial cells under extreme magnification and pointed out the Y chromosome. So what I want to know is, is there a non-surgical way to remove an atomic wedgie? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!
     
298. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-26 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-26 Pub. Date: 2009-05-26
Image Number: 34375
Caption: Good news and bad news, Brown. Bad first, sir. We've had to lay off Annie Wiseacre, the "Dear Annie" advice columnist. Aw, man! I've been reading her column since… Forever, it'll be a shame to see it disappear. Well, now for the good news.
     
299. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-25 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-25 Pub. Date: 2009-05-25
Image Number: 34374
Caption: Good news and bad news, Brown. Bad first, please. Trigon Corp. is threatening to close the paper in 30 days unless we force you employees to wear rags, eat gruel… and generate your own electricity by running on a huge wheel in the basement. D'OH! What's the good news? Oh, did you say BAD first?
     
300. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-07 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-07 Pub. Date: 2009-05-07
Image Number: 32173
Caption: In an alternate reality, the events of 1948 happen instead of 2009. Sorry, boss, I can't possibly read this depressing news in an excited tone. I'd feel like a heel. Yer a good man, Brown. You got principles. But what the people want is excitement, see? I don't know, boss. I got another story for ya to read, then. The headline: "Miracle Cure for Principles Found! It's Called Getting Fired!" President Obama says "It's better not to point fingers" and pardons the Japanese war criminals who tortured our boys! Now that takes moxie!
     
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