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Candorville

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241. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-10 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-10 Pub. Date: 2011-01-10
Image Number: 56137
Caption: Why? Because on January 3rd, I turned on CBS' "The Early Show" and the first thing I heard them say way … "Gandhi likely NEVER had a year like Lindsay Lohan's 2010!" Well, still, you can't skip a whole year. Wake me in 2012.
     
242. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-18 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-18 Pub. Date: 2010-12-18
Image Number: 55241
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. "Mingma, eat your yak blood cubes, there are starving children in America."
     
243. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-16 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-16 Pub. Date: 2010-12-16
Image Number: 55239
Caption: Younger me, I remember this like it was yesterday. Sasha Mitchell Facebooked us … and you're not sure whether to write back. But that's because you only remember her as that 17-year-old teenager you knew in college, so you're in no hurry. But trust me ... ... write back to Sasha Mitchell right now, and ... you will meet the WOMAN of your dreams. Great. You oversold it. Now she'll NEVER live up to that. It's Obama all over again.
     
244. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-15 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-15 Pub. Date: 2010-12-15
Image Number: 55238
Caption: Hello, younger me. I've come back through time in your dreams to tell you something that'll change the whole course of your life. Sasha Mitchell, your "one that got away," Facebooked you a couple of days ago. You have to write back … NOW. Surely it can wait till morning. No it can't, and ... and ... um ... mph. Oh go ahead, we know we want to. DON'T CALL ME "SHIRLEY"! ... last time I swear.
     
245. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-10 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-10 Pub. Date: 2010-12-10
Image Number: 55014
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I've thought about you from time to time, these past 16 years, Lemont. I've wondered if you're happy. How's your life going? Court will come to order … the case of "Impoverished Black Father Who Has No Chance to Win Custody From the Filthy-rich White Mother of his Child" can ... Um ... seriously? Mr. Brown, is this really how your lawyer filed your case? My life's going fine. Might I suggest you represent yourself?
     
246. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-09 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-09 Pub. Date: 2010-12-09
Image Number: 55013
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont … I was sitting at home on my couch channel-surfing and got bored, so I just left the TV on some channel I'd never watched before and went back to reading my book. … Then I heard a voice. It was so familiar ... It reminded me of when I used to lie on your bed in the dorms and watched you write, and listen to you talk about how someday you'd be a famous writer. At first I thought the voice was in my head. But then I looked up and saw YOU n TV. You were talking about being a successful, important writer. I was so PROUD, Lemont! I started jumping up and down and screaming "HE DID IT! HE DID IT!" I write for a newspaper. Tap tap tap tap tap. Don't spoil the mood.
     
247. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-08 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-08 Pub. Date: 2010-12-08
Image Number: 55012
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. OMG Lemont … I didn't think you'd even remember me! Are you kidding, Sasha? How could I forget a girl who used to sit by my desk my entire shift and stare at me? There were like seven girls who did the same thing, Lemont. I would get so jealous! I know. Do you have their e-mail addresses? I only noticed you, Sasha.
     
248. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-07 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-07 Pub. Date: 2010-12-07
Image Number: 55011
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi Lemont. You probably don't remember me. I lived in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley back in 1994. I just saw you on TV, at some panel discussion. And I thought "what a coincidence!" Just the other day, I came across a picture of you I'd kept all these years, of you working as a door monitor at Freeborn. I remember watching you write ... Dear Sasha, OF COURSE I remember you! I've been pining away for you for 16 years. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I want to have your children. Delete delete delete. Dear Sasha, OF COURSE I remember you! Tap tap tap tap tap. Delete delete delete. Dear Sasha, You seem vaguely familiar. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
249. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-06 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-06 Pub. Date: 2010-12-06
Image Number: 55010
Caption: I wrote back to Sasha Mitchell today. What? Just now? Your long-lost love Sasha Mitchell … the one that got away … Facebooked you … and you just now wrote back? What took you so long? It's only been a couple of days, Susan. Feels like it's been two months. Ok, ok, I'll stop talking about her.
     
250. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-20 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-20 Pub. Date: 2010-11-20
Image Number: 54275
Caption: Mainstream Media. Obama's Democrats just lost the House of Representatives! Clearly this means the country is repudiating liberalism! Clinton's Democrats just lost the House and the Senate! Clearly this means the country is repudiating liberalism! Reagan's Republicans just lost the House of Representatives! Clearly this country is repudiating conservatism!
     
251. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-19 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-19 Pub. Date: 2010-11-19
Image Number: 54274
Caption: Why do you care whether I follow you on Tweeter, anyway? "Twitter" … Twitter.com/Candorville. And what do you mean? Your long-lost love Sasha Mitchell Facebooked you the other day. Why don't you ask HER to check out your tweeter? Twitter. Um … are you mad at me? Why would I be mad that you're Facebooking some chick who BETRAYED me back in college? Well ... as long as you're not mad. I'm sure SHE'D think your tweeter was funny.
     
252. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-18 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-18 Pub. Date: 2010-11-18
Image Number: 54273
Caption: Twitter.com/Candorville. Say it: "Twitter.com/Candorville." No. But you can read my funny observations about life right on your smart phone! Even if you're in line at the DMV, or getting a root canal. Lemont, I just don't want to be one of those people who, in the middle of a crowded room, looks at her phone and starts laughing. They used to COMMIT people who did that sort of thing. Can I tweet that?
     
253. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-17 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-17 Pub. Date: 2010-11-17
Image Number: 54272
Caption: Susan … how come you don't follow me on Twitter? How hard is it to go to Twittter.com/Candorville and click "follow"? Lemont … I hang out with you every day. You already tell me everything on your mind that's worth hearing. But I'm just practicing my thoughts on you. By the time I Twitter them, they're much wittier. ... And I even hear that stuff that's NOT worth hearing. What I'm saying right now is just a rough draft.
     
254. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-16 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-16 Pub. Date: 2010-11-16
Image Number: 54271
Caption: Imagine if you had an audience of millions who witnessed all your failures … … your dysfunctional relationships, your squandered opportunities, your pathetic insecurities, your financial disasters … … and imagine if this audience of millions had been laughing at you behind your back for years. um ... you only have like twelve Twitter followers. NOT THE POINT!
     
255. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-12 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-12 Pub. Date: 2010-11-12
Image Number: 53960
Caption: Sasha Mitchell, my "one who got away" from college, just Facebooked me. I'm not sure I should write back. You can either use this Sasha Mitchell as a drug to help distract you from your disastrous relationship with your evil ex … … or you can take time to really examine your life and figure out what YOU need in order to have a happy, healthy relationship. There are lots of good drugs. Aspirin ... Tums ... Fascinating.
     
256. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-30 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-30 Pub. Date: 2010-10-30
Image Number: 53538
Caption: Twitter.com/candorville. The rest of the world says America is falling behind because its people have a short attention span. Or something like that.
     
257. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-29 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-29 Pub. Date: 2010-10-29
Image Number: 53537
Caption: Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Twitter.com/Candorville. My goal is to be rich enough that I can hire someone to put his fist through a wall when I'm frustrated about the economy.
     
258. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-22 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-22 Pub. Date: 2010-10-22
Image Number: 53249
Caption: Clyde, you're just upset Sasha Mitchell Facebooked me and not you. Whachoomean? So what if she used to love my music and hate yours? So what if she never needed a tyrannosaurus to understand what I was tryin' to holler at her? She never needed a "thesaurus." So you agree. What? What?
     
259. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-21 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-21 Pub. Date: 2010-10-21
Image Number: 53248
Caption: So what if that fine-*%@ girl you knew back in college just Facebooked you. Leave that spit alone, son! Sixteen year changes people. She could have six kids, a controlling, Samurai husband and a criminal record. I just don't wanna see you get hurt, no matter how ridiculously hot that girl is. For the last time, I'm not giving you her e-mail address. but you need a brutha to run recon!
     
260. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-19 media 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-19 Pub. Date: 2010-10-19
Image Number: 53246
Caption: Who cares if your "long-lost love" from college Facebooked you? What are Susan? On one hand, you got Susan a fine -$%# girl who been there for you all your life … even though you a nerd. On the other hand, you got Sasha Mitchell, a chick you ain't see in sixteen years an' don't know spit about. Is that my watch? Focus, son. Focus!
     
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