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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (97 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-29 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-29 Pub. Date: 2019-09-29
Image Number: 179616
Caption: I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman Republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped working for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years later, he adventured across the world on the back of Tito, the last living woolly mammoth. That's when he met Buddha, who took credit for Randius' motto: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. I just meant I felt like taking a nap.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-24 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-24 Pub. Date: 2019-09-24
Image Number: 179618
Caption: I'd like to discuss a collaboration, Lemont. I'm all ears, Perry. Perry? Don't you meant Mr. White? When you worked here, you called me Mr. White. Your blog may be the internet's 47th largest source for news and opinion, but don't let that go to your head ... Brown. The chronicle fell to number 48, I take it. The chronicle would like to parachute you into the inferno engulfing the Amazon ... to report on it, I mean.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-18 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-18 Pub. Date: 2019-08-18
Image Number: 178993
Caption: Kelly messaged me again. After a year of silence. She sent me a photo of an ice cube tray. No words or anything. Just the photo. Dr. Noodle. How did that make you feel? Like she was trying to tell me something. So I studied the picture for a long time. And then it occurred to me: I'd seen that ice cube tray before! it was mine! In my freshman year of college, she stole it and refused to give it back. I see. What do you think this means? I think it means she still loves me with the same passion she felt for me back then, and that she wants me to drop everything and fly to her and run off with her into the sunset. Sometimes, narcissists will play games just to make sure others are thing about the ... When I asked what it meant, she said That hurts and blocked me!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-26 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-26 Pub. Date: 2019-06-26
Image Number: 178257
Caption: As I was saying, you can't call what we have concentration camps because that diminishes what happened in the Holocaust. Never again means never again will we let people commit genocide. I always thought it meant never again will we let people even begin to do things that led to genocide ... like calling people an infestation and locking them in camps. You thought wrong.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-08 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-08 Pub. Date: 2019-06-08
Image Number: 177957
Caption: We missed you at Lionel's soccer game this morning. I meant to come. You've meant to come to this birthday parties, to his piano recitals, to his day care senior play … Who wants to watch three-year-olds perform Grapes of Wrath? I mean I had a big project at work. You really missed out. They performed it dressed as actual grapes.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-04 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177388
Caption: Where you been last couple days, Big L? The Star Trek Discovery season finale was incredible. It made me really want a Captain Pike spin-off. So naturally, I've been in every discussion forum and all over social media trying to motivate everyone on earth to sign the CBS, give us a pre-TOS Star Trek series w/ Captain Pike. Struggle is pointless. petition on Change.org. Naturally don't meant what you think it mean. How do you say please in Hindi?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-21 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-21 Pub. Date: 2019-04-21
Image Number: 177255
Caption: My boss asked me if I'd consider getting a more professional-looking haircut. Dr. Noodle. I told him It is professional. I get it cut at Roscoe's Barbershop every two weeks. So then he said That's not what I meant. He said Think of cropping it short. So I said But Cody has longer hair than I do. So does Chad. And Bryan. And Todd. And Jack. And Spencer ... and you. So then he said he wasn't going to name names, but one of my coworkers told him my aggressive hair makes them uncomfortable. So I said to him that coworkers complaint, and you siding with them, is making me uncomfortable. What are you going to do about that? Let me guess ... He told me there was no need to be so aggressive.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-29 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-29 Pub. Date: 2019-03-29
Image Number: 176943
Caption: My boy asked me to sing him some nursery rhymes last night. So I sang him Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary had a Little Lamb. Then he demanded more, but I just … blanked. I suddenly couldn't remember any. So I sang him Purple Rain to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb. You ain't never been good under pressure, dawg. Then he asked me what weekend lover meant, so I had to pretend I'd fallen asleep.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-02 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-02 Pub. Date: 2018-11-02
Image Number: 174719
Caption: Was the foster family child protective services put you with nice to you, son? Yes! We aw got the watch the Amewican fwag on tv, and we got to pwedge awegiance to Donawd Twump. You meant that the other way around, right? … right? I leawned to shoot a Kawashnikov and a wocket wauncher.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-18 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174073
Caption: The President said his response to the Puerto Rico hurricane was an incredible unsung success. It turns our about as many people died because of the hurricane as died on 9/11. And most of them died in the weeks after the hurricane had passed. He could've done a lot more to save those Americans. I still don't see how this is proof the large Hadron collider shifted us into an antonym universe where words mean the opposite of what they meant in our original universe. In the antonymverse, that means you do see it.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-30 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-30 Pub. Date: 2018-08-30
Image Number: 173791
Caption: I can't get anything done at all until I've had my morning coffees. I think I may have a problem. The first step is admitting you've got a problem, Susan. I'm proud of you. Now that you know, you can do something about it. You can probably go into rehab for this sort of thing, with all the other junkies and addicts. I just meant I think I'm out of coffee. Junkies isn't politically correct, but if Trump can be blunt, so can I.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-25 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-25 Pub. Date: 2018-05-25
Image Number: 171762
Caption: I can't get anything done at all until I've had my morning coffees. I think I may have a problem The first step is admitting you've got a problem, Susan. I'm proud of you. Not that you know, you can do something about it. You can probably go into rehab for this sort of thing, with all the other junkies and addicts. I just meant I think I'm out of coffee. Junkies isn't politically correct, but if Trump can be blunt, so can I.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-01 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171053
Caption: I think you take Star Trek a little too seriously, Lemont. I do not. I just think that it's a good show. A good show that has fun characters … who happen to be a shining symbol of mankind's ability to overcome our barbarism and selfishness and evolve into the noble and ingenious paragon of animals we're meant to be. I rest my case. I mean ... it's pretty good. Worth checking out.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-28 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-28 Pub. Date: 2018-03-28
Image Number: 169887
Caption: I started using the Amass Loot app to invest money. Say what? It's like Stash and Acorns. It automatically withdraws money form my checking account and buys stocks. Just one day after starting, I lost 48 cents. The app told me that meant it was the perfect time to invest even more. I could get you in on Big Oatmeal's craps game in the alley. I go just like that. How much does he charge per trade?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-17 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-17 Pub. Date: 2018-01-17
Image Number: 167357
Caption: I'm not in love with my girlfriend anymore. How do I fix that? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice 50¢. Here what you do, bruh: Pretend she ain't your girlfriend. Pretend she the hot single women you first noticed. You mean try to look at her with fresh eyes again? I meant go see other women ... but that could work too. (Originally published on 2015-12-30)
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-06 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165705
Caption: Of course they gon' kill net neutrality, Big L. So what we won't be able to visit any site we want to online anymore. Nothin' good last forever, bruh. It's like that old Doctor Zeus book said … Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. I don't think Doctor Seuss meant we should apply that to our freedom. Freedom just an illusion, bruh, like parking tickets.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-21 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-21 Pub. Date: 2017-11-21
Image Number: 165148
Caption: What's the best way to make a girl forget a guy? Pretend you ain't got no sense of humor. If a bertha don't make a woman laugh, she gonna forget about him real quick. If that don't work, change your number, change your name, an' move to another state. No, I meant I want a girl I like to forget about another guy she likes. I gave one piece of advice a day. Come back tomorrow.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-06 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-06 Pub. Date: 2017-06-06
Image Number: 158826
Caption: To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. What're you up to these days, Brother Park? That depends. If we're talking the SimCity game I began back when we were in college in '93 … I'm up to 14 linked quad-core RAID devices that take up the whole basement. That's not what I meant. It's costing me a fortune, but I've been playing the same game for so long that I'm pretty sure my 59 billion Sims have become sentient and worship me as a deity. I meant how do you spend your time these days? Working. I've got 59 billion mouths to feed. Tap tap tap tap.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-14 meant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157342
Caption: They got to him. I don't know how, but they got to him. Dr. Noodle. I should've seen it coming, though. After all, a guy who gets all butt-hurt about questions is the White House Spokesman in charge of answering questions. A guy who opposes paid leave and equal pay is in charge of the White House's responses to women's issues. A guy who doesn't believe in climate change is in charge of the EPA. A reputed bigot is in charge of enforcing civil rights. Trump even tried to put a guy whose company violated wage, hour and child labor laws in charge of the Department of Labor. I still don't think we know what Luke Skywalker meant by "it's time for the Jedi to end." I don't like Star Wars now that I know it's set in the Trump White House.
     
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