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The Mean Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-05-21 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-05-21 Pub. Date: 2019-05-21
Image Number: 177653
Caption: Earl, did you water the roses and feed the cat? Nope, I watered the cat and fed the roses. What?! Why did you do that? Because you told me to. Don't do what I tell you to do! Do what I meant to tell you to do!!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-17 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-17 Pub. Date: 2019-05-17
Image Number: 177624
Caption: Why on earth would anyone want prisoners and ex-cons to vote?! What kind of message does that send to thugs hoodlums and murderers? Do you have any idea how many crimes have been avoided because the thuggish, homicidal maniac realized he might jeopardize his right to vote? Zero. I don't mean how many as in numbers. Don't be so literal. Sorry.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-04 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177388
Caption: Where you been last couple days, Big L? The Star Trek Discovery season finale was incredible. It made me really want a Captain Pike spin-off. So naturally, I've been in every discussion forum and all over social media trying to motivate everyone on earth to sign the CBS, give us a pre-TOS Star Trek series w/ Captain Pike. Struggle is pointless. petition on Change.org. Naturally don't meant what you think it mean. How do you say please in Hindi?
     
4. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2019-05-04 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177395
Caption: The Motivational Speaker. I work with a lot of golfers who are professional … You mean professional golfers like Tiger and Phil? No. I mean dentists and personal injury lawyers like Harold and Seymour.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-02 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-02 Pub. Date: 2019-05-02
Image Number: 177386
Caption: 1982. You won Best Book Report in Mrs. Cass's class. I did what? I overheard her talking to Mr. Barnhouse about it. They're gonna give you a blue ribbon and a cupcake in class tomorrow. Wow. Oh wow! I've never won anything in my whole entire life before. This is awesome! This means everything! I thought you said awards didn't mean anything. That was when I hadn't won any.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-28 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-28 Pub. Date: 2019-04-28
Image Number: 177382
Caption: I'll have the special. One Cat Fur Mocha, coming up. Not today's special. I can't through here back on April 9th, 2011. You had a really delicious special that day. I want that one. I can't do that, sir. Of course you can. I mean, you don't look like the kind of guy who'd like to be hit with a bait and switch lawsuit. Your sign out front says Get the special for only $8.95! It doesn't say get today's special. Get out.
     
7. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-04-27 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-04-27 Pub. Date: 2019-04-27
Image Number: 177262
Caption: How are you doin' today, Clyde? Great. Really? You mean your arthritis isn't bothering you, and that persistent rash went away? No. I guess I just temporarily forgot about them. Thanks a lot for reminding me. You're welcome. It would be a shame to go through life and not remember how miserable you are.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-19 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-19 Pub. Date: 2019-04-19
Image Number: 177224
Caption: Do you think I'm losing it, Susan? No, Lemont. I mean sure, you're not as philosophical as you were when we were kids … and you seem a lot grumpier … and you lose things a lot more … and you tell me stories I've heard before … but it's super premature to worry that you're going senile ... Still, you might want to get checked out. I was talking about my sex appeal.
     
9. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2019-04-15 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2019-04-15 Pub. Date: 2019-04-15
Image Number: 177126
Caption: What if we took off all our clothes in zero gravity? What do you mean? You know what I mean … Slap!!! New show? Yeah. It's called Astro-Naughty.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-13 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-13 Pub. Date: 2019-04-13
Image Number: 177118
Caption: Our unofficial national motto used to be E Pluribus Unum. But our national motto should depict something we're good at. We're pretty good at pretending there are no lingering, systemic effects from slavery, Jim Crow, etc … We're good at not holding our leaders, our torturers, and our greedy white-collar crooks accountable. We're good at ignoring that we've basically become an undemocratic oligarchy. I still don't know what Reptant nihil hic is supposed to mean. Latin for move along, nothing to see here.
     
11. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2019-04-12 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2019-04-12 Pub. Date: 2019-04-12
Image Number: 176955
Caption: Face it, Sven, we're old - pillage doesn't mean what it used to mean.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-11 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-11 Pub. Date: 2019-04-11
Image Number: 177116
Caption: You know the worst part of renting instead of owning a home? Aside from not being able to create generational wealth for your children and all your descendants, I mean. You don't really have a good reason to hang out in Home Depot. You don't get to tear down walls and dig a lot of holes when you rent. Don't put limits on y'self, Big L. I tore down a wall just last week, I don't give a @#$%.
     
13. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-04-07 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-04-07 Pub. Date: 2019-04-07
Image Number: 176870
Caption: A few years ago, someone gave me a ceramic frog and I told them I loved it. Big mistake! Now everyone gives me frog gifts. They think I collect them. I mean, I like them okay, but one would've been enough. Why don't you tell people you don't really like frogs? Oh, I don't want to hurt their feelings. I have other ways of handling it. Oops! there goes another one!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-29 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-29 Pub. Date: 2019-03-29
Image Number: 176949
Caption: It's peaceful around here. Sadie has laryngitis. She lost her voice screaming about how she thinks our generation is totally self-obsessed. It's mean stuff, but sad too. When she can't yell, it makes her less threatening. You're stinky and half-evolved. Nice penmanship.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
16. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2019-03-26 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2019-03-26 Pub. Date: 2019-03-26
Image Number: 176842
Caption: Today's word o' the day is intersectionatalie. You mean intersectionality. No. I give up … A crossing guard named Natalie. Op-Ed. Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. George Carlin.
     
17. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2019-03-24 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2019-03-24 Pub. Date: 2019-03-24
Image Number: 176855
Caption: Ralph, whatever you do … never … and I mean … never … chase a yellow and black Chevrolet Camaro.
     
18. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-03-23 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-03-23 Pub. Date: 2019-03-23
Image Number: 176649
Caption: Hi, Opal. I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing. Are you okay? I'm sure you're wishing Earl were still alive, right? What do you mean? He is still alive. He's right over there. Oh, shoot! I mean thank goodness. I guess it was just a dream.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-09 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-09 Pub. Date: 2019-03-09
Image Number: 176629
Caption: I've been reporting on people for half my life, now, Clyde. You mean snitchin'. What're you talking about? It's totally different. You ain't tellin' on people? Only thing people hate more than the kid who steal a cookie is the tattletale that come runnin' an' smilin' to tell on him. What did you do? Don't change the subject.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-08 mean 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-08 Pub. Date: 2019-03-08
Image Number: 176628
Caption: Daddy, what is six twafficking? Uh … What? Where'd you hear that? You were on the phone talking about six twafficking in Flowida. Oh. Well, you know that you're not supposed to listen to Daddy's door when he's being a journalist. So what's it mean? … It means there are six kings in charge of traffic. Oh.
     
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