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Candorville

Comics about loves and loving.

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-20 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-20 Pub. Date: 2015-09-20
Image Number: 132207
Caption: Kelly texted me again the other day. I hadn't heard from her in two years. I thought I'd never hear from her again. What did she want? To see if I was still madly in love with her. She wanted to see if I would still be willing to run away with her and start a new life, no matter the consequences. She wanted to see if her voice was still the air I breathe, and if I still saw moonlight when I gazed into her eyes. She said all that? Not in so many words. She just said "hi," but I knew what she meant. I'm going to schedule you for some extra sessions. I think I'm over her, doc. I didn't answer her at all, for five whole minutes.
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-18 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-18 Pub. Date: 2015-09-18
Image Number: 132518
Caption: I want you to follow these exercises to the letter … Find pictures of you as a baby. Tape them all over your apartment. Whenever you see one of them, stop and tell the picture "you are a special, unique person." Tell the picture "I love you." Do exactly as I just said, until I tell you you can stop. That's how I can learn to take charge of my life? Just do it.
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-17 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-17 Pub. Date: 2015-09-17
Image Number: 132517
Caption: Doc, is it really, absolutely necessary to have a love life? Dr. Noodle. Of course it is. Even if you're alone, you have to love something passionately. M.A. Take up painting, or sky-diving, or domesticate wild boars … do it and do it with passion! I haven't yet given up on actual people. Whittling is a fairly erotic pastime.
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-05 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-05 Pub. Date: 2015-09-05
Image Number: 131903
Caption: I think my girlfriend's sister was coming on to me. What do I do? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. The important thing here is to ask yourself which one of them you can see y'self with 50 years from now. My girlfriend. Definitely my girlfriend. Then choose the sister. Anybody be boring as @#$% after fifty years, bruh.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-01 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-01 Pub. Date: 2015-09-01
Image Number: 131899
Caption: I think you're wrong when you say Airbnb and things like it are ruining the economy and putting people out of work. A couple months ago, I was browsing their site. It made me really feel like traveling. So I took a weekend trip to Cameroon. But it turned out the Airbnb I loved wasn't any cheaper than a hotel, so I booked the hotel room. That's anecdotal evidence, Susan. Anecdotal evidence doesn't prove anything. How do you know that? Well ... from what I've seen, anecdotal evidence is often misleading.
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-12 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-12 Pub. Date: 2015-08-12
Image Number: 130935
Caption: I was talking to Susan about Robin Thicke's love life yesterday, and I felt guilty. I usually talk to her about intelligent, important matters. I usually save any dumb, frivolous, utterly inconsequential thoughts for when I hang out with you. Talking about Robin Thicke should've been our thing. I think I'll get over it, bruh.
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-11 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-11 Pub. Date: 2015-08-11
Image Number: 130934
Caption: Robin Thicke's new girlfriend looks an awful lot like his ex-wife Paula Patton. That's so textbook. Textbook? It's right out of chapter 7 of The Guy's Guide to Breakups by Randy "The Rock" Taylor. Chapter 7's called "You Can't Miss Her if You're Dating Her Clone." I really don't want to talk about Robin Thicke. I'm trying to give you a head's up, Susan. Every man's a little bit Thicke.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-07 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-07 Pub. Date: 2015-08-07
Image Number: 130587
Caption: You really should call your mom every day, Lemont. She was a single mom who spent every free moment with you. You were her life. Dang. When you put it that way, you make me feel like a real jerk for calling twice a week. Well you should. She wiped your nose. She held you, bathed you, changed you, taught you, and loved you when no one else did. Is she paying you? I don't see what that has to do with my being right.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-30 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-30 Pub. Date: 2015-07-30
Image Number: 130317
Caption: Twitter™. Twitter.com/Candorville. @Candorville - I read your interview with your old roommate who joined ISIS. It was heart-breaking, cuz it reminded me of my own daughter who also ran away to join terrorists … instead of staying home and ordering the brand new cotton flavored grizzly bear treats from tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. The pope is right, Capitalism is getting out of control. Twitter™. Oh, how I loved my daughter.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-19 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-19 Pub. Date: 2015-07-19
Image Number: 129280
Caption: How many fights you think I been in in my life, Big L? I try not to think about it, Clyde. I figure as long as I don’t have statistics about the horrible details of your life, I can pretend you're actually a good person. Denial is a skill I began honing at an early age, when I first saw "Galactica 1980". If I could convince myself that show was good, I could convince myself of anything. No offense. I started a fight exactly ... For the love of god, man, don't ruin our friendship!
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-07 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-07 Pub. Date: 2015-07-07
Image Number: 129282
Caption: I love you. … I love you. I loooove you. Come on, little man, you can say it: I love you. Can you say "I love you"? Can you thay "cake"? Cake. Cake. Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-29 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-29 Pub. Date: 2015-06-29
Image Number: 129036
Caption: It's time for the Confederate flag to go. We agree, for once. Well when an evil racist who loves the flag kills nine churchgoers just because they're black … I have to acknowledge the flag's been misappropriated. What do you mean, "misappropriated"? It was always the symbol of people who fought for slavery. There's nothing not racist about it. That's like saying neo-Nazis are "misappropriating" the swastika. I AM keeping my Confederate belt buckle, though. Time.
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-17 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-17 Pub. Date: 2015-05-17
Image Number: 126511
Caption: Anytime you think bad thoughts, son, you can fix it by thinking of the one thing in this world you love most. Macawoni and cheeth? I was thinking more along the lines of "daddy." Macawoni and cheeth.
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-27 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-27 Pub. Date: 2015-04-27
Image Number: 126130
Caption: You know what I love more than almost anything in this world, Clyde? … French fries. They're like a tragic, ill-fated romance. No matter how bad they are for me, I just can't stay away. Can I have some of your fried, Clyde? Sorry, bruh, my fries be monogamous.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-03 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-03 Pub. Date: 2015-04-03
Image Number: 124961
Caption: Last night, I dreamt that you and I were married. Only instead of a hat, you wore a mohawk. And instead of being into science fiction, you were into Harleys. And instead of being sweet, you were a jerk. And instead of having a two-year-old son, you had no kids at all. But other than that, it was totally you. Dream-me is a very lucky jerk.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-15 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-15 Pub. Date: 2015-03-15
Image Number: 123843
Caption: Giuliani was right. Obama doesn't love America. When you love something, you love it warts and moles and all. You have a mole. In fact, when you love something, you don't even point out its warts and moles. I noticed it years ago, but I don't remember it being that big. Pointing out warts and moles only hurts your loved one's feelings. Dude ... You might wanna get that thing checked. Daily Nutjob. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." You hate me, just like Obama hates America. Do you even OWN a mirror? Has aversion to pepper spray. Why?
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-13 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-13 Pub. Date: 2015-03-13
Image Number: 123672
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A woman laughed at me when I asked her out. M.A. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-09 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-09 Pub. Date: 2015-03-09
Image Number: 123668
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "If you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-28 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-28 Pub. Date: 2015-02-28
Image Number: 123401
Caption: I've figured out what true love is, Clyde: it's when someone would never dream of changing you. Thug 4 Life. It's when someone likes all you annoying habits and mannerisms … … Because that's what makes you you. Thank God For Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life. What if trying to change YOU is the other person's annoying habit? Thank God For Culture Clash. Thug 4 Life. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-26).
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-20 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-20 Pub. Date: 2015-02-20
Image Number: 123055
Caption: Hi, Sasha. It's Lemont Brown. I just heard you got divorced. No need to call me back, I just wanted to let you know I'm proud of you for finally leaving that jerk. Things didn't work out between us because of the timing, and we've both moved on, but … I just want you to know I hope you're happy ... because making a pass at you right after I find out you're newly divorced would be a turnoff. Right? Or not? Anyway, farewell. Unless you WANT to call me back.
     
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