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Candorville

Comics about loves and loving.

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-27 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152625
Caption: No, momma, I don't think you should get a reverse mortgage. Why? Well, you know Steve Mnuchin, the guy Donald Trump appointed Treasury Secretary? The bank he ran used to convince old people to get reverse mortgages, then they foreclosed on a lot of those houses for the tiniest of reasons. They foreclosed on one home for an unpaid bill of 27 cents. Yes, I know Magnum P.I. said it's not a scam to steal your house. But if they have to SAY that ... (Sigh) ... Yes, momma, I know how you love Magnum P.I.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-20 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-20 Pub. Date: 2016-12-20
Image Number: 152370
Caption: You still haven't told me what was so great about your trip to visit your girl "Vancouver." She and I are both writers. So … we told each other stories. She was fascinated by my life. That's beautiful. And I was by hers. She was an enthralling book and I was savoring every word. With your track record, she was probably fiction. I must be really into her, because I even loved all the typos.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-13 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152111
Caption: I've had THREE "Loves of my Life." Sasha Mitchell … Which just … didn't work out … Another … which just didn't work out … and "Vancouver." This one is different. This time, all the signs -- Oof!
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-06 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-06 Pub. Date: 2016-12-06
Image Number: 151814
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you love birds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couples' counseling. Three years ago. Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we were on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... but tv and I have been together forever, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-26 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-26 Pub. Date: 2016-11-26
Image Number: 151299
Caption: Dick Fink, come in. You know how we handle all the ads for the Candorville Press, the book publisher? They just showed me a manuscript for a novel set at an ad agency. The villain is an evil shrew named Supan Garpia. Did you write that book, Dick? Advertising executive of the year 2016. Absolutely not, Ms. Garcia. Although I must say, it sounds amazing. I would love to read that story. The author's pen name is "Rick Rink." Sounds like a guy who's going places.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-22 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151295
Caption: 1982. Lemont, if neither of us is in love with anyone by the time we're 40, wanna marry each other? Only on one condition. You'd have to agree to give me space whenever I need it. It's important for a man to be able to be alone with his thoughts and his comic books. Also, you'd have to sign an agreement promising you'll watch Star Trek with me at least once a week, even if you're not in the mood. That makes two conditions. Also, you'll have to agree not to ever bring up math.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-18 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-18 Pub. Date: 2016-11-18
Image Number: 151020
Caption: Lemont meets another Lemont from an alternate reality. Whatever you do, do NOT visit the women you came here to see. I made that mistake. We waited over a year to see each other. We were so in love. But when I visited her, I was so upset about Trump's election, we had a miserable time. It killed the magic. Wouldn't flying thousands of miles just to stand her up kill the magic too? Good point. I'll tell you what ... as a favor to you, I'll visit her for you. I'm on to you.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-14 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-14 Pub. Date: 2016-11-14
Image Number: 151016
Caption: Lemont flew to Canada to be with the woman he's fallen in love with and hasn't seen for over a year. But he paused at a random bar in Vancouver's Gastown district to cover the election for the Candorville Post. That's when the impossible happened. He found himself in the company of dozens of other Lemonts from alternate universes. All in favor of sending narrator Lemont back to annoying-verse? If he reports what he's seen, the girl of his dreams will think he's insane.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-13 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-13 Pub. Date: 2016-10-13
Image Number: 149612
Caption: I kicked myself for not asking Vancouver for her number … but there was still one more day of the convention. So the next morning, I strolled around the hotel, and then around the block, hoping I'd run into her. My Fitbit told me I ended up strolling for eleven miles that morning. There's a thin line between love and stalking. Turns out she'd slept in.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-12 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-12 Pub. Date: 2016-10-12
Image Number: 149611
Caption: When Vancouver approached me, the rest of the crowd seemed to desaturate. It was like everyone else turned black and white, but Vancouver stood before me in brilliant color. When she hugged me and I felt her soft hair on my face, the rest of the world faded away. And I couldn't feel my feet. After I Googled those symptoms and it turned out not to be a stroke, I realized it was love at first sight.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-11 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-11 Pub. Date: 2016-10-11
Image Number: 149610
Caption: My girlfriend lives in Vancouver. That's why I'm going there. We met a year ago. I'd just given a speech, and she was in the audience. Afterward, she approached me … Hello, Lemont … Well, it felt like that, anyway. Oh my.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-17 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-17 Pub. Date: 2016-07-17
Image Number: 145280
Caption: Have you ever fallen madly in love with someone, Clyde? No such thing as that, bruh. What do you mean? Ain't no "falling." Love is a choice. You control it, Big L, the way you control a pit bull, or the IRS … or the weather. What you phone say the weather be right now, Big L? 106 degrees. The weather be what you want it to be, bruh. What kinda punk-!@$* let a phone tell him how to dress? Good talk, Clyde.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-15 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-15 Pub. Date: 2016-07-15
Image Number: 145820
Caption: I'm not mad at you so much as I'm disappointed in you, Lemont. Oh come on, Susan, Clinton is fair game. I'm so tired of that. People just love what I write when I go after a politician they hate. But as soon as I go after one they like, they're "disappointed." Nobody likes to see their own sacred cow barbecued. Last time I used that analogy, I got tons of "disappointed" letter from both the Cow Advocacy Society and the Barbecuers Guild. Dios mio.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-26 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-26 Pub. Date: 2016-06-26
Image Number: 144284
Caption: You want to know why I'm voting for Trump? Because I like the idea of him making America great again. Oh, me too. That way we could all build bomb shelters in our backyards. Women could wear corsets, and men could wear suits and fedoras all the time, even while jogging. BLM activist love of red velvet cake. Daily Nutjob. Hillary failed to stop Pearl Harbor. Goodnight Grandpa. Men could smoke and drink in the office like real men, and women could go back to doing whatever we say. Black war vets could be denied a lot of the benefits of the G.I. Bill and I wouldn't have to sit in the front of the bus anymore. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Hillary rep'd NY on 9/11. Coincidence? Exoneration Nation. I once read that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. I like the back of the bus. That way I could keep an eye our for all the Communists. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why? Hillary failed to stop destruction of Alderaan.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-13 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-13 Pub. Date: 2016-06-13
Image Number: 144562
Caption: Trump Campaign. John Barron speaking. Hi, I'm Lemont Brown with the Candorville Post. Right, we cover news, culture, opinion … I'm sure you've heard of us. We have 300,000 readers every day online. Mr. Trump says he's never heard of you, you're a total loser, you're overrated, and nobody likes you. He also says you don't treat him fairly. Probably because you're black ... He'd like me to add that nobody loves the blacks more than he does. They're tremendous.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-05 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-05 Pub. Date: 2016-06-05
Image Number: 143701
Caption: I love you. I made a mistake. That other woman meant nothing to me. Will you come back to me, boo? I want you back. You say I "need to show you I'm making an effort"? I'm calling you, aren't I? Nobody actually calls anyone anymore. I could've just texted you a sad-face emoji followed by a broken-heart emoji, but I wanted to show you how sincere I am that you're the only one for me. Ok, Siri, send that voice text to Amber, Kelly and Denise.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-28 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143642
Caption: My son wants "Pajama Diaries" to win "Best Comic Strip" at tonight's awards because he likes pajamas. And with that, I became convinced Donald Trump will be our next president. Don't get me wrong, I love "Pajama Diaries." I'd be thrilled if it won. But I don't love what my son's reasoning says about humanity. We base our choices on highly personal, irrational reasons, and then we rationalize them after the fact. Aren't you being a little hard on a two-year-old? Don't you see? A lot of people vote with their inner two-year-olds.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-25 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-25 Pub. Date: 2016-05-25
Image Number: 143639
Caption: I just watched all the trailers for Fox's new primetime shows. "Making History," "Shots Fired," "Prison Break," "The Exorcist," "Son of Zorn," "Star," "APB" … Some of it looks so good, so unique, so cinematic, so … amazing! I already love it all! Isn't that a good thing, Lemont? No! That means it'll all get canceled.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-22 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-22 Pub. Date: 2016-05-22
Image Number: 143085
Caption: 1984. Do you think Terrence likes me, Lemont? Who's "Terrence"? I don't know any "Terrence." I know a "Turbo," and a "C-dog," and a "Rerun," and a "Big Oatmeal," and a "Greazy." I know a "Night Court," a "Shorty," a "Cheese-face," a "Rocky," and "Airwolf," a "Riptide," a "Boss," a "Voltron," a "Schoolbreak Special," and a "Big Cheeto." In fact, I'm pretty sure if there was a "Terrence" in our class, he'd go to great lengths to make sure none of us ever knew it. You've asked me an unanswerable question, Susan. The fact he told you his name was "Terrence" is either proof he loves you or proof he's trying to push you away. How come you don't have a nickname? The only on I wanted was "Prince," but living up to it would be too much pressure.
     
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