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Candorville

Comics about loves and loving.

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301. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-28 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-28 Pub. Date: 2006-12-28
Image Number: 15644
Caption: So I'm a couple of years late, me. I can still show you the meaning of Christmas present. How much can change in two years, anyway? I can still point out how well our life's going. I mean, sure, we're broke, but … At least we haven't mistakenly gotten someone pregnant and won't have to marry someone we don't love, condemning us all to misery. And we've still got new "Star Trek" to watch on TV. What? Nothing.
     
302. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-07 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-08 Pub. Date: 2006-12-07
Image Number: 15506
Caption: Here's why it's different when a white person say "n*****." When they say it, it evokes the whole history of white domination over blacks. And they always say it in anger. I see. So when bruthas say it, it still evokes the whole history of white domination over blacks ... but with love? Yeah. No ... wait.
     
303. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-01 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-01 Pub. Date: 2006-12-01
Image Number: 15413
Caption: So at the office's Thanksgiving dinner, O.J. Simpson volunteered to carve the turkey. Is that when the stampeded for the door happened? Not just yet. Aw, man, do I love carvin' up a turkey. Really takes my back. Friends, family, good times, y'know? And that's when the stampeded for the door happened.
     
304. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-16 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-16 Pub. Date: 2006-11-16
Image Number: 15301
Caption: I really don't know why Lemont marrying that Roxanne woman bugs me so much. Oh, Kate, why am I trying to talk him out of doing the right thing? Marrying the mother of his child is the right thing. Right? What's wrong with me? Dios mio, Kate. Am I in love with him? Um ... like I was saying, ma'am, you can consolidate your college loans.
     
305. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-15 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-15 Pub. Date: 2006-11-15
Image Number: 15294
Caption: Lemont, you're my best friend. I love you and I'll support whatever decision you make. Even if you're condemning yourself, that crazy chick and an innocent baby to a marriage that's doomed to fail. Even if it's the stupidest decision ever in the whole stupid history of stupid decisions. Good thing you're not an enemy. I love you, you dumb @#$%.
     
306. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-13 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-14 Pub. Date: 2006-11-13
Image Number: 15270
Caption: Momma, hypothetically speaking, how much is a man supposed to spend on an engagement ring? Mm-hmm. Well, how 'bout if he can't stand the crazy woman, and he's only marrying her 'cause they made a terrible mistake and she gave birth to his love-child? How much then? Oh my dear lord ... Where would one find a good deal on hypothetical diapers?
     
307. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-27 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-27 Pub. Date: 2006-10-27
Image Number: 15029
Caption: C'mon, what's really bugging you, Lemont? Well, I may as well confess. I have this nagging feeling the new Star Trek movie's gonna be lame, even though it might feature Captain Kirk. Also, I was waiting to become a success before asking my love-child's mother to marry me. But even though I finally got my dream job, I'm still broke. At least your priorities are in order. I don't think anyone but the Shatner should ever play Kirk.
     
308. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-05 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-16 Pub. Date: 2006-10-05
Image Number: 14808
Caption: We're revoking your church's tax-exempt status because you actively campaigned against President Bush. In 2004, you said Jesus would condemn the Iraq war or any preemptive war. No, I didn't. And you then you said, and I quote, "Jesus loves peace." I would never say such a thing! Clearly an anti-bush tirade.
     
309. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-09-16 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-16 Pub. Date: 2006-09-16
Image Number: 14666
Caption: Hello, mom. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone because I've fathered the love-child of a crazy vegetarian chick, and I'm trying to work up the nerve to pursue a high-paying job so I can afford to marry her and feed them all the roots and hay they desire. Please leave a blood-curdling scream, and I'll get back to you when my ears stop ringing. Beep.
     
310. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-09-08 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-14 Pub. Date: 2006-09-08
Image Number: 14638
Caption: Dear long-lost son, You've never met me, but I'm your father. I feel awful for abandoning you and your momma. Please cash this $8 check, it's all I could afford to send. I love you, son. "Cashing this check will enroll you in Cittebank Vistacard's expensive credit protection program. These people are sneaky.
     
311. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-09-07 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-14 Pub. Date: 2006-09-07
Image Number: 14639
Caption: Lemont, what's wrong? Are -- are you crying? She's gone, Susan. She wasn't that old. Jut like, she's… (sniffle) she's gone. Dios mio. I'm so sorry, Lemont. Your mother loved you very much. I know… (sniffle)… I know… But what's that have to do with "Stargate SG-1" getting canceled?
     
312. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-09-14 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-14 Pub. Date: 2006-09-14
Image Number: 14661
Caption: So Clyde, why don’t you want to hang out with Lemont anymore? It's 'cause he just ain't down, girl. He's smart. He should be doing more with his life. Been tryin' ta school that @#$%, but it ain't no use. I'm holding him back. You really resent him, don't you? @#$% right. you really love him, don't you. #$%^ right.
     
313. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-20 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-05 Pub. Date: 2006-08-20
Image Number: 14473
Caption: In Vitro Fertilization Clinic Surplus Embryos I sure am glad the president keeps us safe from the scientists. I feel you, dawg. I mean, sure, extracting our stem cells for experiments could lead to cures for Parkinson's, Diabetes, cancer -- all sorts of agonizing diseases that ruin millions of lives every year. Yadda yadda yadda... But it's just... y'know... wrong. Yeah, dawg. Wrong! Bush values us. Bush saved us from that horrible fate. I wonder what happens now? Will we be born? Grow up? Fall in love? See the sunsets? Swim in the sea? Hey, brutha, hold up. Don't jinx it, now! Oh, I can't wait! Life! Glorious, glorious life awaits us! Nuts. If I had arms and legs, I'd whup yo' @*#, punk.
     
314. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-19 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-19 Pub. Date: 2006-06-19
Image Number: 13996
Caption: Sometimes I think nobody loves me. You think you got it rough, pal? Try bein' me. Every time the president gets too low in the polls, you guys kill Al-Qaida's #2 man. But what about me? I'm Al-Qaida's #9 man. No one ever brags about the times they killed me. Sometimes I think nobody capitalizes on my death.
     
315. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-10 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-14 Pub. Date: 2006-06-10
Image Number: 13984
Caption: I read you new article on your blog today, Lemont. I liked it. You liked it. But you didn't love it? Well, -- Why didn't you love it? What's wrong with it? Oh, dear God, you hated it. A real friend would be honest of beating around the bush, Susan. I loved it, already!!! But you weren't crazy about it?
     
316. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-12 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-14 Pub. Date: 2006-06-12
Image Number: 13985
Caption: So, then the crazy vegetarian chick springs this kid on me, and I find out I'm a father. That's when I realized I need to do more with my life. I needed to stop wasting time. I don't love Roxanne, but I can't let my boy grow up without a father, like I did. Sir, when I asked "How is everything," I meant the food.
     
317. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-17 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-17 Pub. Date: 2006-05-17
Image Number: 13748
Caption: Wait, Nadine, you're not mad at me for fathering the love child of a crazy women and deciding to marry her? Nah, we can work this out. Everyone makes mistakes, honey, but it we care about each other, we can forgive each other. For instance, a cute pizza delivery guy mistakenly showed up at my door last night, and ... I don't think I like where this is going.
     
318. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-16 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-16 Pub. Date: 2006-05-16
Image Number: 13726
Caption: Huh? What? Why? Everything's going great, Lemont. I dig you, I know you're into me. So what's the problem? I recently found out I fathered the love child of a crazy vegetarian chick, and now I have to marry her. Say what? … And I'm not too fond of your taste in music.
     
319. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-04-07 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-04-07 Pub. Date: 2006-04-07
Image Number: 13412
Caption: Meanwhile, at the ad agency, Susan Garcia meets with a new client. We want something that says "Bellsouth is helping to rebuild New Orleans." How? By forcing the city to stop providing free high-speed wireless internet access to hurricane victims? We view it as "ensuring people have more time to spend rebuilding their communities." Y'know, instead of wasting time communicating with loved ones. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
     
320. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-03-28 love 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-03-30 Pub. Date: 2006-03-28
Image Number: 13328
Caption: Man, Clyde, I feel like I've become a stereotype. I have a master's degree, I'm bright, creative, upstanding, responsible … but because I made one little mistake, none of that matters. By "mistake," you mean how you fathered the love-child of a crazy chick? Ok, maybe not "responsible." Or "bright." Don't forget "bright."
     
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