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Candorville

Comics about being longer .

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Result page:    2  Next  (32 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-21 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-21 Pub. Date: 2019-04-21
Image Number: 177255
Caption: My boss asked me if I'd consider getting a more professional-looking haircut. Dr. Noodle. I told him It is professional. I get it cut at Roscoe's Barbershop every two weeks. So then he said That's not what I meant. He said Think of cropping it short. So I said But Cody has longer hair than I do. So does Chad. And Bryan. And Todd. And Jack. And Spencer ... and you. So then he said he wasn't going to name names, but one of my coworkers told him my aggressive hair makes them uncomfortable. So I said to him that coworkers complaint, and you siding with them, is making me uncomfortable. What are you going to do about that? Let me guess ... He told me there was no need to be so aggressive.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-20 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-20 Pub. Date: 2019-04-20
Image Number: 177225
Caption: So you're worried that you may no longer be attractive to the opposite sex. Dr. Noodle. That's entirely normal. I felt that way myself at your age. M.A. You did? Sure. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and realize you're not a stallion anymore. Your coat is greying, and your saddle is too tight. When do you get to be the helpful part? M.A. The trick is realizing that a donkey can be just as beautiful ... ish.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-17 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-17 Pub. Date: 2018-11-17
Image Number: 174940
Caption: I was on the bus the other day, an' two dudes got to talking 'bout bein' 5150'd. One of them said 5150 is when the police haul you in 'cause you a danger to yourself, but 5250 is when you a danger to others. Other dude said Nah, 5250 just mean they get to lock you up in a hospital longer. First dude called second one started throwin' hands. Second dude turned out to be right. The bus cop who arrested him said No, this ain't no 5250, this here a 242, I'm thinking of a getting a car.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-09 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-09 Pub. Date: 2018-08-09
Image Number: 173376
Caption: twitter. Sassynic: Jumping jacks … have those ever been considered a real exercise? They seem so … fake to me. They're the breast implants of exercises. Candorville: If a caveman saw all the glowing, blinking devices in my room he'd flip out. I'd hate 2 see what he'd do if he saw my bills for all of them. I don't understand, what's this have to do with you deciding you no longer need counseling? I'm cured! All the voices in my head have been crowded out by all the voices in my phone.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-22 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-22 Pub. Date: 2017-12-22
Image Number: 166287
Caption: Doc, I've been coming here for years. I feel pretty happy. I'm thinking maybe I don't need therapy anymore. That makes perfect sense. It's like when you look in the mirror and see you've finally got bright, shiny teeth. There must be no need to keep brushing them if they're no longer decrepit and begrimed. Brains and teeth are two completely different things. Really? Let's chew on that thought for a moment ...
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-02 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 159209
Caption: You ever think maybe the world would've been better off if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Seriously? You gonna say that right before the Fourth of July? It's just a thought experiment. You scared of thought experiments? C-Dog ain't scared of nothin'. All right. Let's say France never helped us win the revolution. We'd have lost. Britain probably still would've freed the slaves in 1833, so ... No civil war. No backlash to reconstruction, so ... no KKK. France wouldn't have drowned in debt. Their monarchy would've lasted longer, so ... no Napoleon. No Napoleon, no threat uniting German nationalists, so ... no World War I or II ... no Hitler. No Manifest Destiny, so no genocide of Native Americans. The UK wouldn't have turned to the Middle East and Africa to replace its lost holdings, so ... no carving up the Ottoman Empire, no chaos in the Middle East, and no ISIS. Bruh ... if you don't wanna loan me $20 for fireworks, just say so. We'd probably still have black licorice. No getting around that.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-18 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-18 Pub. Date: 2017-04-18
Image Number: 157013
Caption: List of places a brotha ain't gotta visit before he die be getting' longer, Big L. Florida, 'cause of "Stand Your Ground" … Chicago 'cause of all them gunfights … the whole Middle East 'cause of Isis 'n' them … I should name the list an' trademark it. Lotta people be leavin' money on the table when they don't trademark. "Bucket List" would've been worth millions. Whachoo got that rhymes with "Bucket List"?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-07 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-07 Pub. Date: 2016-11-07
Image Number: 150712
Caption: You've been in Canada six whole hours. When do I get to see you, Candorville? I can't wait any longer. How 'bout right now? I'm at the American Pub on Spite Street. It's a sketchy bar in the worst part of Gastown, where a bunch of American ex-pats and tourists can get together and act like they're still in the states. Censored you, you stupid liberal censored head! Censored my censored you censored Fascist! Wanna hang out with me while I cover election night for my news site? I can wait a little longer.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-16 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-16 Pub. Date: 2016-02-16
Image Number: 139235
Caption: I'm tired of people saying Marco Rubio sounds like a robot. Since when has repeating oneself over and over again been robotic? He doesn't sound anything like a robot. Robots say "I'll be back" in a thick Austrian accent. Or they say "I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: Let the Wookiee win." Or they say "Danger, Will Robinson!" Don't worry, people won't be talking about Rubio for much longer.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-13 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-13 Pub. Date: 2015-11-13
Image Number: 135010
Caption: Doc, I've been coming here for years. I feel pretty happy. I'm thinking maybe I don't need therapy anymore. Dr. Noodle. That makes perfect sense. It's like when you look in the mirror and see you've finally got bright, shiny teeth. M.A. There must be no need to keep brushing them if they're no longer decrepit and begrimed. Brains and teeth are two completely different things. Really? Let's chew on that thought for a moment ...
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-15 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-15 Pub. Date: 2015-10-15
Image Number: 133795
Caption: I showed him plenty of "Munsters" in the beginning of our relationship. Why can't he be happy with the memory? Why's he still need it all the time? Lemont? Can you at least acknowledge the validity of its point? Sooner or later, each of us finds our favorite show is no longer in our programming package. I say whatever it takes to get me, that's what it takes to keep me. Yeah right, you wouldn't know what to do without me.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-04 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-04 Pub. Date: 2015-04-04
Image Number: 124962
Caption: I just watched "Rescue from Gilligan's Island" on Youtube. After all those years, they finally made it home and were welcomed as heroes. Then they went their own separate ways and tried to resume their lives. Only they realized their journey had changed them so much they no longer fit into their old lives, so they got back together and sailed off into the unknown. It's been 14 years. You really need to get over it. Even Gilligan's Island had a better ending that Star Trek: Voyager.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-02 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-02 Pub. Date: 2015-03-02
Image Number: 123662
Caption: When a man is witness to a passing unicorn, he thinks "My God … I just saw a unicorn!" But when a man is witnessed witnessing a unicorn, that SECOND witness adds nothing bit skepticism about what the first witness witnessed. DO you know why mankind no longer believes in the supernatural, Rosencrantz? It's because the Earth is now filled with 7 BILLION "second witnesses." Tyrone, I still don't buy that a unicorn ate my sandwich. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-18).
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-21 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-21 Pub. Date: 2013-11-21
Image Number: 104085
Caption: Google told me how to get you to go to sleep. Bwing it on! Experts divaricate on the matter. Mindell advocates progressively shortening the amount of time I remain in your room. Ferber, contrarily, posits closing your door for successively longer periods of time. The AAP postulates allowing you to select your own pajamas and sleep with teddy bears and other transitional objects will ameliorate your odds of success vis-a-vis somnolence. Zzzzzz. Brazelton posits that. I thaid Zzzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-12).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-06 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-06 Pub. Date: 2013-11-06
Image Number: 103507
Caption: Garcia, hypothetically speaking, would it be considered appropriate if a CEO asked one of his executives to wear longer skirts … … Because this CEO's wife is SO afraid the CEO will stare at the executive's legs … CEO of the YEAR 2002. … That she's installed a surveillance camera in the CEO's glasses? I've got work to do, sir. Hypothetically, she's asking if you'd be willing to grow a mustache.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-24 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-24 Pub. Date: 2013-10-24
Image Number: 102929
Caption: I showed him plenty of "Munsters" in the beginning of our relationship. Why can't he be happy with the memory? Why's he still need it all the time? Lemont? Can you at least acknowledge the validity of its point? Sooner or later, each of us finds out favorite show is no longer in our programming package. I say whatever it takes to get me, that's what it takes to keep me. Yeah right, you wouldn't know what to do without me.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-18 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-18 Pub. Date: 2013-03-18
Image Number: 94734
Caption: When a man is witness to a passing unicorn, he thinks "My God … I just saw a unicorn!" But when a man is witnessed witnessing a unicorn, that SECOND witness adds nothing bit skepticism about what the first witness witnessed. DO you know why mankind no longer believes in the supernatural, Rosencrantz? It's because the Earth is now filled with 7 BILLION "second witnesses." Tyrone, I still don't buy that a unicorn ate my sandwich.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-10 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-10 Pub. Date: 2012-12-10
Image Number: 90866
Caption: You look tired. I was up all night with Lionel. He had a nightmare. I guess I shouldn’t have read him my latest book as a bedtime story. It's called "RUN! Vampires, Werewolves, The One That Got Away and Other Demons." You couldn’t think of a longer title?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-12 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-12 Pub. Date: 2012-04-12
Image Number: 79197
Caption: Google told me how to get you to go to sleep. Bwing it on! Experts divaricate on the matter. Mindell advocates progressively shortening the amount of time I remain in your room. Ferber, contrarily, posits closing your door for successively longer periods of time. The AAP postulates allowing you to select your own pajamas and sleep with teddy bears and other transitional objects will ameliorate your odds of success vis-a-vis somnolence. Zzzzzz. Brazelton posits that. I thaid Zzzzzz.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-16 longer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-16 Pub. Date: 2012-01-16
Image Number: 43923
Caption: twitter. Sassynic: Jumping jacks … have those ever been considered a real exercise? They seem so … fake to me. They're the breast implants of exercises. Candorville: If a caveman saw all the glowing, blinking devices in my room, he'd flip out. I'd hate 2 see what he'd do if he saw my bills for all of them. I don't understand, what's this have to do with you deciding you no longer need counseling? I'm cured! All the voices in my head have been crowded out by all the voices in my phone. (Published originally on 2010-02-08.)
     
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