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Rudy Park

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-05 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-05 Pub. Date: 2015-02-05
Image Number: 122489
Caption: Boss … I need to take a few months off for paternity leave. That's commendable. I'm all for fathers taking an active role in their children's lives. It's good for the health of our economy. Take all the time you need, as long as the "baby" you're talking about isn't a kitten, a houseplant or some video game where you raise a simulation of a baby. I'd like to withdraw my request. I thought you might, minion.
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-01 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-01 Pub. Date: 2015-02-01
Image Number: 121465
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents: The Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-24 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-24 Pub. Date: 2015-01-24
Image Number: 121925
Caption: Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-08 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-08 Pub. Date: 2015-01-08
Image Number: 121148
Caption: Happy New Year, Randy. Same to you, little buddy. Although technically you should've told me that last week. No, I'm not talking about 2015. I mean "Happy 2016." HOJ. I like to be ahead of the curve. Ok. As long as you don't start sending my family your condolences.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-05 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-05 Pub. Date: 2015-01-05
Image Number: 121145
Caption: The cutest lady I've ever seen in my life just walked in. The Love Doctor's on a break. That's ok, I don't need advice. I think I'll just ask her out on my own. Good for you, little buddy! Yeah, I'm thinking of staring at her a little too long, and then mumbling my name to her ... and then nature will take its course. The Love Doctor will see you now.
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-12 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-12 Pub. Date: 2014-12-12
Image Number: 120014
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm dating this girl, and she's hinting that she wants a commitment. How do I keep getting what I want without giving her what she wants? That's easy. Every time she opens her mouth to talk about it, softly touch her lips with your finger and say ... "You know what separates us from everyone else?" "We don't even need words. Everything we have to say, we can say with our eyes." How long will that routine buy me? Six weeks of bliss.
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-02 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-02 Pub. Date: 2014-12-02
Image Number: 119724
Caption: NOBODY TOUCH ME! Sweetie, I … NOBODY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. A true hypochondriac does not play favorites. It's going to be a long winter.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-26 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-26 Pub. Date: 2014-11-26
Image Number: 119414
Caption: What's the best way to break up a marriage? I'm not sure I want to know why you're asking. As long as Beyonce's sister stays married, I don’t have much chance of marrying her myself. I'm not fit enough for "Survivor," I don't have eight kids, and I'm a bit too old to be on "Big Brother." I figure marrying a celebrity's sister is my best chance to finally get my own reality show. Does "Willis" from "Diff'rent Strokes" have a sister? Ok, now I'm 100% sure.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-14 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-14 Pub. Date: 2014-11-14
Image Number: 118879
Caption: I hear they finally identified the wreckage of Amelia Earhart's plane. Finally! It took them long enough! I planted that fake wreckage way back in 1937! And it wasn't easy! In '37, the tiny atoll of Nikumaroro was hard to reach. I had to take two rafts and a bus. You, uh ... you don't believe her ... do you? Almost definitely not.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-20 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-20 Pub. Date: 2014-10-20
Image Number: 117982
Caption: Boss, FedEx just delivered a crate full of hazmat suits. Excellent. On your lunch break, drape a couple of them over the trash cans outside every café in town. If we're the only café in the township where people HAVEN'T found discarded hazmat suits, then everyone will assume we're the only Ebola-free cafe. I can't do all that in just three minutes. You can have twice as long for your lunch break today.
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-06 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-06 Pub. Date: 2014-09-06
Image Number: 115997
Caption: You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows café customers expect to be served by a skinny-jean-wearing, vinyl-loving, organic-food-eating environmentalist who smokes. I've scheduled you for an old-timey glasses fitting at noon. I don’t need glasses! You're now a vegan, but you can eat meat as long as you do it ironically.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-11 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114987
Caption: All those broken cease-fires between the Israelis and the Palestinians take me way back. I once lived with a girl who'd break up with me once a week. We'd break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over and over again. We couldn’t live together but each of us thought we had a right to that apartment, so we fought over it for a long time. It's more complicated than that. Maybe Israel should try leaving Palestine and moving in with her sister. I don't even know what that means.
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-23 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114173
Caption: I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game … … because paying for your mental health care would violate my religious beliefs, and the supreme court said I don't have to do that. I dressed my pikemen in black.
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-14 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-14 Pub. Date: 2014-06-14
Image Number: 112393
Caption: Armstrong, I'd like to formally request a day off to take care of a sick friend. Of course. As long as this "sick friend" is not a character in a video game who you're trying to "heal" so he can get to the next level. Armstrong, I'd like to formally withdraw my request. Withdrawal formally accepted.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-17 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-17 Pub. Date: 2014-05-17
Image Number: 111309
Caption: I'll admit, yesterday I was off my game. I made a rookie mistake and you bested me, nemesis. But I'll take comfort in the fact that the internet has ruined your ability to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. You won't recall minute details of your day ... all you'll remember are the parts that stick out most, such as me yelling ... ... YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER! Joke's on you, I won't even remember that.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-02 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-02 Pub. Date: 2014-04-02
Image Number: 109631
Caption: You've been around for a very, very long time. Maybe you can answer this … what's the best way for a man to attract a woman so he can pass on his genes to the next generation? You just keep being you, dearie, and any woman in her right mind will pass on your genes. Awesome. Would you like another soup? No thanks, I'll pass on that. Munch mun-
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-23 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-23 Pub. Date: 2014-03-23
Image Number: 108952
Caption: I will never vote for Hillary Clinton for President. Huh? Why not? Because "see a woman elected President" is right there on the list, just under "see a black person elected President." … And just above "torment a young good-for-nothing slacker for years until he sons like a baby." What're you talking about? My bucket list. As long as there are still items on it, I have reasons to keep on living. Can you help me Photoshop an image of Hillary choking an endangered polar bear by feeding it a baby? I would need it uploaded to the interwebs before 2016. Is this why you keep tickling me after you insult me? I'll be immortal if it's the last thing I do.
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-02 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-02 Pub. Date: 2014-01-02
Image Number: 106932
Caption: What's this, Sadie? Your funeral program. Y'know … for whenever. What are you saying? Nothing. Say, did you know I've been around for a long time? By the time you've buried dozens of friends, you know which signs to look for. Not … falling … for it … I notice your agitated ... Interesting.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-23 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-23 Pub. Date: 2013-12-23
Image Number: 106923
Caption: I finally understand. Understand what? Years ago, you were a star football player, a running back , if I'm not mistaken. So? All this stuff is coming out about football and concussions. You probably suffered more than your share of brain trauma. Am I using too many big words, dough head? Gonna be a long week.
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-12 long 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-12 Pub. Date: 2013-12-12
Image Number: 106912
Caption: Coffee King hired a left-handed busboy. Next thing you know several of our regulars started frequenting the place. Coincidence? Yes. We need our employees to be more uncommon than theirs. Is there anything uncommon about you? I can play the flute with my armpit. How long would it take you to develop a lazy eye.
     
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