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The Live Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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1. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-09-20 live 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-09-20 Pub. Date: 2019-09-20
Image Number: 179440
Caption: There's so much contention and violence in the world today … It almost makes me lose my will to live. Would it help if I baked some snickerdoodles? Hmm … Yeah, I suppose I owe it to humanity.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-09-04 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-09-04 Pub. Date: 2019-09-04
Image Number: 179228
Caption: Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-01 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-01 Pub. Date: 2019-09-01
Image Number: 179190
Caption: I want you to work on something when you get home, minion. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. I've always wanted to have a trademark one-liner, like the heroes of all those old action movies. Like in Cobra. Sylvester Stallone was a rogue cop who told a criminal You're the disease, and I'm the cure. Or like in Total Recall, when Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife turned out to be an evil killer. He eliminated her and then said Consider that a divorce. Or like in They live, when just before he killed a bunch of evil aliens, Rowdy Roddy Piper said "I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick (butt) ... and I'm al out of bubblegum. Your task tonight is to generate six one-liners I can use whenever I squeeze unpaid work out of my employees. I'm supposed to be able to rest once I've gone home. You're the rest, and I'm the bed. The kind with spikes on it ... See? That's awful. Fix that up and give me sixe more.
     
4. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-08-30 live 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-08-30 Pub. Date: 2019-08-30
Image Number: 179117
Caption: Grampa, how long do you want to live? Oh, I don't know. I guess until I don't want to anymore. Well, I hope you live as long as you want to. I hope I want to as long as I live.
     
5. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-08-20 live 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-08-20 Pub. Date: 2019-08-20
Image Number: 179016
Caption: Carl Sandburg said Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest other people spend it for you. True. I've spent a lot of coins on this bench with you that I'll never get back.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-06 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-06 Pub. Date: 2019-08-06
Image Number: 178907
Caption: ICE and border patrol are really detaining Americans? Even American children. Back in March, they detained nin-year-old Julia Medina for 36 hours and interrogated her without her parents. She's an American who lives in Tijuana, and she had her passport. They tried to get her 14-year-old brother to say she was his cousin. What? Why? I asked them then they asked me for my passport. So I panicked and jumped into a passing freight train ... But I'll make a follow-up call tomorrow.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-08-02 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-08-02 Pub. Date: 2019-08-02
Image Number: 178696
Caption: Lady, why don't you ease up on the taunting. Sure. I'll lighten up so I don't offend the sensibilities of your little girl. He's a boy. Oh, sorry kid. Hope I didn't offend your mother. Hey! Living the dream. Fight, fight!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-26 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-26 Pub. Date: 2019-07-26
Image Number: 178597
Caption: I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-23 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-23 Pub. Date: 2019-07-23
Image Number: 178670
Caption: What are you so happy about, Lemont? Well, this morning Lionel and I had breakfast at Pancake-ville. When it came time to calculate a tip, I asked my phone What's 22% of $22.22? and my phone told me. That's when it occurred to me, we're living in the future! We have electric cars, drones, instant knowledge at our fingertips ... It's the future I've dreamt of my entire life! (Sigh) ... you always did hate math. Only in the future can a man track down his old math teacher on Facebook and gloat.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-21 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-21 Pub. Date: 2019-07-21
Image Number: 178586
Caption: Today, a television special event from the world of live blogging. The variety bloggers from North Carolina State will attempt an unprecedented feat. I'm going to attend a rock concert and live blog the experience. That's just the start … Then I'm going to live blog the experience of watching him blog. Then I'll live blog my experience watching and reading her blog. Then I'll live blog watching all of them, and also Twitter the whole thing. It's the unprecedented quadruple live blog. This is so awesome! This television event has been pre-recorded.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-20 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-20 Pub. Date: 2019-07-20
Image Number: 178564
Caption: Sadie, how can I convince my husband that a vacation is worth paying for? Excellent question. In my day, vacations were an essential component of a successful marriage. I would get two weeks a year to don a bikini, sit on a tropical beach amidst coconuts and oiled-up cabana boys, and recharge my yelling voice. And he would stay home working and have two weeks to live in dread of my imminent return. It was a win-win situation, really. What were we talking about again? Um ... nothing. Thanks.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-18 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-18 Pub. Date: 2019-07-18
Image Number: 178562
Caption: Candorville.com says we discovered tons of microbes living deep inside the earth. You know what this means? Scientists are pretty sure both Venus and Mars were habitable a long time ago. If microbes ever existed on either planet, then it's almost guaranteed they're still alive there, deep inside the earth ... I mean, deep inside the Venus. And the Mars. Hey, if we get to call dirt by our planet's name, so do those alien microbes ... and so the advocacy begins. That's your earthier privilege talking.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-16 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-16 Pub. Date: 2019-07-16
Image Number: 178560
Caption: In just one handful of soil, there are about 50 million bacteria. Oh wow. There's a biomass of billions of tons of microbes living 600 meters underground. Do you have any idea what this means, Susan? It means there's more bacteria deep inside the earth than animals on the surface of it. But on the other hand, it's all gross, so we still come out ahead. Don't get the biomass angry, Lemont.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-15 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-15 Pub. Date: 2019-07-15
Image Number: 178559
Caption: Scientists recently discovered billions of tons of bacteria and microbes living hundreds of meters inside earth. You're not going to tell some joke about this being a groundbreaking discovery, are you? Of … course … I'm not. Good. That would be beneath me. Dios mio.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-14 live 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-14 Pub. Date: 2019-07-14
Image Number: 178556
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
     
16. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2019-07-08 live 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2019-07-08 Pub. Date: 2019-07-08
Image Number: 178497
Caption: A new scientific study shows people can live healthier and happier … Chips. Gulp slurp slurp … by ignoring all the new scientific studies. Chomp crunch slurp.
     
17. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-07-07 live 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-07-07 Pub. Date: 2019-07-07
Image Number: 178276
Caption: Aah … Here's some good news for you! Really? What is it? Some scientists at a university did a study … The results show that women with larger rear ends tend to live longer. They're not sure why. Some people don't handle good news well.
     
18. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-07-04 live 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-07-04 Pub. Date: 2019-07-04
Image Number: 178280
Caption: This doctor wrote an article saying people are living too long these days. He says we're creating an army of old people who are diminishing opportunities for young people. He claims it would be better if no one lived past 75. You had me at army of old people. Where do I go to enlist?
     
19. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-06-08 live 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-06-08 Pub. Date: 2019-06-08
Image Number: 177818
Caption: You know what, Opal? You are a chocoholic. That's not true. I could live without chocolate. I could get along just fine without chocolate! Everybody around me would suffer, but I'd be fine.
     
20. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2019-06-07 live 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2019-06-07 Pub. Date: 2019-06-07
Image Number: 177906
Caption: You can keep your surroundings clean and well-organized, but that won't stop life from sometimes getting very messy.
     
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