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Candorville

Comics about lifespans.

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-28 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-28 Pub. Date: 2018-11-28
Image Number: 175156
Caption: You're on The Ask Sadie Show. What's your problem?! I'm conflicted about the year 2050. In 2050, we'll have several technologies that could let us live forever. No one born after around 1970 might ever have to die. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time a narcissistic caller called someone born way before 1970, just to say he won't have to die, but she will. I will find you and take you with me. Might be for the best. If there is an afterlife, I wouldn't want to miss out on it.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-26 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-26 Pub. Date: 2018-11-26
Image Number: 175154
Caption: Scientists may find a cure for death around the year 2050. It would change everything if we never again had to lose anyone we loved. Of course, we'd also never again lose anyone we hated, either. I guess that's a small price to pay. The only thing that never dies is the futile quest for immortality.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-05 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-05 Pub. Date: 2016-09-05
Image Number: 148214
Caption: You ever wonder how many barbecues you got left in your life, Big L? I done the math. You factor in holidays an' summers an' weekends, that come to 148 barbecue opportunities a year. Given life expectancies, that only 11,603 official excuses to barbecue, on average. 9,620 if you a black man. I like to think 'bout these things on National Barbecue Day. Labor Day, Clyde. It's Labor Day.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger … would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-31 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-31 Pub. Date: 2015-01-31
Image Number: 121966
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more than that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-13 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-13 Pub. Date: 2014-11-13
Image Number: 118789
Caption: According to Zeno's Paradox, you and I would be immortal, Rosencrantz. If life is a journey toward death, then to arrive at that destination we'd first have to travel half a life. Then half our remaining life, and so on; infinitely forever. But you're overlooking one crucial flaw in that theory. What flaw is that? Zeno's dead. (Published originally on March 29, 2012.)
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-06 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-06 Pub. Date: 2014-10-06
Image Number: 117062
Caption: If we could live forever, I think that would put an end to violence. Really? Yeah. Most violence is just a symptom of out short time-horizon. We only have a few decades to live, so we're all desperate to get what we can while we can. Did you know some turtles are practically immortal? Turtles? When's the last time you saw a turtle launch a cruise missile at anyone. Dios mio. And turtle drive-by's are almost unheard of.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-13 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-13 Pub. Date: 2012-10-13
Image Number: 88330
Caption: Mumblello? You're black. Wha … I … Wha? Which means statistically speaking … You've already lived more than half your life. @#$% wake-up calls. Good news is you can have your mid-life crisis early.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-28 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-28 Pub. Date: 2010-09-28
Image Number: 52452
Caption: Do you want your impact on this world to outlast you? In the end, we either turn into a long-remembered story, or we fade away. If you could have people say just one thing about you at your funeral … What would it be? "Hey! Look! He's breathing!" Good talk, Clyde.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-13 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-13 Pub. Date: 2008-09-13
Image Number: 26605
Caption: Mumblello? You'll never retire. Wha- who is th- You're in debt. You have no savings. You will spend your final years in abject poverty. @#$% wake-up calls. Luckily, your life expectancy is only 70.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-13 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-01-13 Pub. Date: 2008-01-13
Image Number: 21015
Caption: Dear idiot… I am very offended by your latest "blog" where you smear Mayor Tupac, saying he's "unfit for office" just because he's been "dead" for "several years." My great granddad died ten years ago and I have many other deceased ancestors as well. I suppose all of a sudden, THEY'd be "unfit" too in your narrow-minded world. You obviously have no deceased ancestors, otherwise you wouldn't be so bigoted against the dead. I'M NEVER CHECKING MY E-MAIL AGAIN. I demand an apology on behalf of all necro-Americans.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-28 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-28 Pub. Date: 2007-08-28
Image Number: 18402
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I can't afford health insurance for both my wife and myself, so we'll probably die before we should. What can I do about that? (tsk) Jus' buy it fo' y'self, dawg. Women live longer than men. If she dies a few years early, it evens out.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-24 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-25 Pub. Date: 2007-06-24
Image Number: 17735
Caption: Wells Fraggo Bank Fraud Reporting Hotline. We know your time is valuable. That's why we'll get to you in just a moment! At Wells Fraggo, we know your time is precious. Thanks for your patience during this brief delay. Wells Fraggo knows your time is valuable. That's why we'll never keep you waiting. Thank you for waiting. Wells Fraggo Bank Fraud Reporting Hotline. We know your time is valuable. That's why we'll get to you in just a moment! Well Fraggo -- Hi, I'm Ryan. How can I help you?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-25 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-26 Pub. Date: 2006-01-25
Image Number: 12823
Caption: If I don't do something with my life now, I'll be stuck flipping burgers forever. I'll end up broke, alone and forgotten. I know you won't believe this, Susan, but after all these years I've decided you're right. I'm finally going to stop wasting time, and do whatever it takes to make my dreams come true. What? I'm waiting for the punchline.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-24 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-25 Pub. Date: 2006-01-24
Image Number: 12822
Caption: RRIIINNNG! Hello? You will never become a professional writer. And you will never write anything important or memorable. You will die alone and forgotten. I hate wakeup calls. Now, let's talk about your finances.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-03-27 lifespan 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-03-27 Pub. Date: 2005-03-27
Image Number: 10008
Caption: Lemont? It's 3:30 in the morning. Why are you calling? You OK? Susan, ever since you told me I'm going bald I haven't been able to sleep……
     
Result page:     (16 images)