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Rudy Park

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-14 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-14 Pub. Date: 2014-08-14
Image Number: 114990
Caption: Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace … in everything. You need to know who you are. What you want. What you won't put up with. What you value. And you need to never say or do ANYTHING that contradicts any of that. People who respect you being your own man will be drawn to you like pennies to a magnet. Can I copy that and tweet it?
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-07 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-07 Pub. Date: 2014-08-07
Image Number: 114701
Caption: I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-24 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-24 Pub. Date: 2014-07-24
Image Number: 114174
Caption: I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&@ a gift.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-13 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-13 Pub. Date: 2014-07-13
Image Number: 112985
Caption: A cup of joe and two shots. Two shots? Not from you. From me. Please take out the trash before you go to work. If you're not too busy being a lazy, narcissistic and doughy lump of a husband! I can't wake up without coffee and a jarring personal attack. Have a nice day, dear. Modern life.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-25 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-25 Pub. Date: 2014-06-25
Image Number: 112981
Caption: 4,489 American troops lost their lives in Iraq, and thousands were seriously wounded for life. Some accounts say half a million Iraqis died because of the war. But you know what? If it turns out they all sacrificed in vain, then that's the most powerful reminder there is that wars of choice do not end well. ... In which case they did NOT sacrifice in vain. I've forgotten what you just said.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-24 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-24 Pub. Date: 2014-06-24
Image Number: 112980
Caption: You're telling me a big army of bad guys invaded Iraq and undid the whole last decade? Pretty much. Does that mean all our troops will come back to life? Pretty sure it doesn't.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-01 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-01 Pub. Date: 2014-06-01
Image Number: 111310
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents The Poetry Stylings of Rudy Park. O tardigrade, o tardigrade, o microscopic tardigrade … Invulnerable invertebrate you disapprove those who venerate … Nay, consecrate the vertebrates. Your tiny size cannot negate - in any way invalidate ... Depreciate ... Eliminate your innate state of "great." Almost all life thou doth predate. Mass extinctions? ... You tolerate. While dinosaurs, they meet their fate, you propagate and populate. You survive almost anyplace ... from deepest seas to outer space. To those who try to make a case that having 'no backbone's" disgrace, I point you out, o tardigrade and say ... IN ... YOUR ... FACE! See, Claire?! I'm not the only one who thinks backbones are overrated! Shut up, dear. Ok.
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-23 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-23 Pub. Date: 2014-05-23
Image Number: 111626
Caption: I've got a hot date tonight, Randy. What should I do? The love doctor is open for business. There's only one objective of the first date, and that's to create an air of MYSTERY. You must present yourself as a tantalizing puzzle that your date will be dying to solve. But I already Facebooked her my whole life story. Should I tell her I was hacked? The love doctor is closed.
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-13 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-13 Pub. Date: 2014-05-13
Image Number: 111305
Caption: Everything in life is a stepping stone to something better, little buddy. I know exactly what you mean, Randy. It's like when I first played Nintendo's Duck Hunt way back in the nineties. Even then, I knew I was honing my skills for the day when we'd have ultra-realistic first-person shooters like "Call of Duty." ... NOT exactly what I was talking about. I'm thinking of giving motivational speeches.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-30 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-30 Pub. Date: 2014-04-30
Image Number: 110791
Caption: I think the best thing about this whole Russia stuff is the movies. Interesting hypothesis. Think about it: the best action movies we ever had were the cold war ones, like "Wargames," "The Manchurian Candidate," "The Day After," etc … They were doubly cool because we had the added thrill of not knowing whether the real-life Russia would blow us to smithereens before the credits rolled. I'm thinking of pitching a sequel to "The Day After." It's called "And The Day After That." I'd like to amend my earlier statement.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-13 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109296
Caption: Did you see "Cosmos"? No. It was mind-blowing. Didn't it make you feel small to see how huge the cosmos is? Nah. The opposite. It mad me realize that in all the vast reaches of space, with all the trillions of planets capable of supporting life … … and at all points in the past and in the future, there is, has been, and ever will be ... ... Only one me. How can you feel small when you realize something like that? I hadn't teared up like that since the last time I gazed longingly at myself in the mirror. Too much information.
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-12 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-12 Pub. Date: 2014-04-12
Image Number: 109907
Caption: You're gonna love this, little buddy. What? The company that makes the "Call of Duty" game licensed my life story. The game will be just like a first-person shooter … … Only instead of search-and-kill ops … Your mission consists of charming your way through life and avoiding serious romantic entanglements.
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-01 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-01 Pub. Date: 2014-04-01
Image Number: 109630
Caption: I'll tell you another way I'm living proof of natural selection … Ok. For 200,000 years, people have been primarily only been able to mate with people who speak the same language. But now that my phone translates what I say into any language on Earth, my dating pool has grown exponentially. What are you doing the rest of your life? Nenzani konke ukuphila kwakho? Yeah. that's gonna work.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-20 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-20 Pub. Date: 2014-03-20
Image Number: 108949
Caption: Randy, I owe you an apology. For what, Mort? All these years, I thought your only concern in life was being a ladies' man. But you uncovered this café's secret conspiracy to addict us to over-caffeinated drinks. The ladies love a whistle-blower.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-12 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-12 Pub. Date: 2014-03-12
Image Number: 108584
Caption: Do you think Hillary Clinton's going to run? I really hope she does. You're into politics? No, I'm just practicing. The ladies dig a man who's secure enough that he wouldn’t mind being led by a woman. That's why all my life, I've only accepted jobs where the boss is a lady. Can you teach me how to perfectly combine "feminist" with "caveman," like you do? You're not ready.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-18 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-18 Pub. Date: 2014-02-18
Image Number: 107782
Caption: Were you really supposed to be in the 1980 Olympics, Sadie? I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! But you're the one who brought it up. That was just to remind you there are aspects of my life that you don’t have clearance to know. Sorry … "clearance" is jargon from my time in THE SERVICE. Service? Which service? I don't want to talk about it.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-21 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-21 Pub. Date: 2014-01-21
Image Number: 106951
Caption: You like my new beard, Randy? What beard? You don't have a beard. You mean you haven't seen my status update? I photoshopped a beard on all my pictures. If enough people "like" it, I'll grow it in real life. Facebook is not meant as a Beta test for life. I know. I used Instagram.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-19 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-19 Pub. Date: 2014-01-19
Image Number: 106949
Caption: Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier. Your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky". It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that you're full of it.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-14 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-14 Pub. Date: 2014-01-14
Image Number: 106944
Caption: Sadiekins? I feel you've unfairly judged me. How so, snookums? I've spent my entire life going against the grain, challenging the status quo. Being a rabble-rouser. Yet this morning you said I don't have a spontaneous bone in my body. Well, I've written a response to that and you're going to listen. Read the funny pages on the potty! Oh, wait. This is yesterday's itinerary.
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-22 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-22 Pub. Date: 2013-12-22
Image Number: 106922
Caption: What're you doing for Christmas, Randy? Dressing up as Santa and inviting a couple of "elves" over to share in the festivities. Oh, that's nice. I'll be doing the usual too. Playing "Grand Theft Auto: Christmas Edition." Same as GTA, only in a Christmas sleigh instead of a stolen car. And instead of a hit man beating up random bystanders with a baseball bat, it's Santa beating them with a huge candy cane. I could be persuaded to join in a real-life elf party, though. Some people just can't pick up on a hint. I think you're thinking what I'm thinking.
     
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