| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-02-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-02-05 |
| Image Number: |
181589 |
| Caption: |
The 38 trillion living cells that compose your body have no idea you have ideas. Huh? They each have lives. They work … they eat … they reproduce … just like we do. And the whole time, they have no idea they're part of larger organism that has its own consciousness. If this is going where I think it's going ... The city is literally mean, Susan.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-02-05) |
Image #181589 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-27 |
| Image Number: |
181480 |
| Caption: |
That the last time I go to see a movie with you, Big L. How you gonna watch Bad Boys for Life an' stay quiet the whole !@#$ time? How you not gonna yell Watch out for that thing! even once, bruh? How you not gonna get up an' high-five people an what-not? You got no joy in you at all. Sorry my polite behavior embarrassed you. Too little too late.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-27) |
Image #181480 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-17 |
| Image Number: |
181262 |
| Caption: |
Sometimes I wonder how far I could go in life if I didn't have a child to raise. But then I look into his little eyes … and I wonder if I'd have been motivated to get half as far as I have if I didn't have a child to impress. I told you to never do your Running Man in front of him. Now he doesn't even trust me about broccoli.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-17) |
Image #181262 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-16 |
| Image Number: |
181261 |
| Caption: |
I'm going to go to Iran, Clyde. What for, bruh? Weren't you listening? I've been invited to give a speech about the dangers journalists face. Do you have any idea how many journalists I know who've lost their lives in the line of duty? How could I say no? I feel you. Don't worry, somethin' happens to you, I'll raise your little boy to be a good accompli -- a good man. I'm not going to Iran, Clyde.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-16) |
Image #181261 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2020-01-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2020-01-03 |
| Image Number: |
181019 |
| Caption: |
What's your problem, Big L? I forgot to make a new year's resolution, man. I've made a resolution every year of my life. And my whole life, all my new year's resolutions have always come true. Do you have any idea what this mean? That nothing at all gonna happen to you this year? Exactly. And you know what that means? It mean that superstition be a dangerous thing? I'm too young ish to die!
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2020-01-03) |
Image #181019 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-30 |
| Image Number: |
181015 |
| Caption: |
Can you believe it's almost the twenties, Clyde? So? So … 100 years later, it's like we've come full circle. Take the stock market … It's soaring. It just keeps going up and up and up. A lot of people have their whole life savings in it. So what? Never mind. This could get depressing. Let's talk about flappers. Was that like Twitters?
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-30) |
Image #181015 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-17 |
| Image Number: |
180856 |
| Caption: |
How could you not know your Momma had Hazel Scott piano in her basement your whole life? I never went down there. Momma said it was off-limits. And since I was a good kid, I respected her wishes. You sure it wasn't 'cause you know she'd whup that !@#$? Momma didn't believe in corporal punishment. She always did respect the troops. What? What?
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-17) |
Image #180856 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-12 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-12 |
| Image Number: |
180768 |
| Caption: |
1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont? I want to be a factory worker. Then I could wear overalls and join a union and live in a big house in a small town and win the heart of a pretty girl. Papa says I'm a pretty girl. Yeah, but your dad's not rich and snobby and he'd probably approve of me. Life doesn't have to be like the movies. I just think it'd be cool to be the boy from the wrong side of the tracks to someone.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-12-12) |
Image #180768 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-22 |
| Image Number: |
180468 |
| Caption: |
Will work for $$$. Will carry on your social media feuds while you live your life, for $$$.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-11-22) |
Image #180468 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-11-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-11-08 |
| Image Number: |
180282 |
| Caption: |
Even after all these years, Momma still won't tell me who my father is. All I know is, she met him when she was a waitress at a casino in Vegans, back in the seventies. I feel like she owes it to me to tell me. Your mom gave you life, raised you all by herself, worked from sunup to sundown to give you everything you needed ... Yeah, she really does owe you something. Glad you agree.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-11-08) |
Image #180282 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-22 |
| Image Number: |
180021 |
| Caption: |
Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont? You haven't responded in a while. I know it's my fault. I never wanted to hurt you, Sunshine. But that's exactly why I went away for so many years. I loved you so much that I didn't want you getting caught up in all my drama. My husband Webster blamed you for everything. He said you Put it in my head that he was abusive. I didn't want you getting caught up in all my drama. My horrible divorce ... my custody battle ... Webster putting out a contract on your life ... Are you there? I ... understand why you don't want to respond. Sorry. had to take a potty break. Where were we? Do not scroll up. Tap tap tap t -
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-10-22) |
Image #180021 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-20 |
| Image Number: |
179913 |
| Caption: |
You already finished your bucket list, Clyde? That's right. But … you're only midway through life. Read the last item on that list. Make it midway through life. Wait … there are only two other items on here. Get it started, and Let it ride. E'rething else just details, bruh. the truth of the story lies in the details. - Paul Auster. The strength of the alibi likes in the lack of details - C-Dog.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-10-20) |
Image #179913 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-17 |
| Image Number: |
179917 |
| Caption: |
Jodie at work called me a Type A person. It offended me. Type A's are ambitious, outgoing, proactive, concerned with time-management … but they're also rigidly organized. I specifically planned to be flexibly organized at this point of my life. Couldn't you just move flexible to your fifties? That would throw everything off!!!
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-10-17) |
Image #179917 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-14 |
| Image Number: |
179914 |
| Caption: |
1982. What do you think life'll be like in the year 2019? I take it you mean for those of us who survive the nuclear Armageddon. It'll be pretty rad. We've got 4.6 billion people on earth right now. That's way too much. After the nuclear war, we'll have maybe 10,000 people left. We'll have to scrounge to survive. There will be no time for hate. No time for chores. No time for homework. The nuclear wasteland will be a paradise. I like when you're optimistic.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-10-14) |
Image #179914 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-10 |
| Image Number: |
179807 |
| Caption: |
Lately I've been thinking about quitting the agency and starting a Folklorico dance group. Say what? Remember how much I loved being in Ensables Ballet Folklorico back in college? Yeah. I was really good at it, too. And I don't think I've ever felt as happy as I did on stage. Maybe this is just your midlife crisis talking. Mumblety - three is NOT midlife anymore!!! If you say so.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-10-10) |
Image #179807 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-29 |
| Image Number: |
179616 |
| Caption: |
I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman Republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped working for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years later, he adventured across the world on the back of Tito, the last living woolly mammoth. That's when he met Buddha, who took credit for Randius' motto: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. I just meant I felt like taking a nap.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-09-29) |
Image #179616 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-17 |
| Image Number: |
179499 |
| Caption: |
Sir, I demand you let me fire Dick Fink. He's condescending, slovenly, forgetful, always late, and I'm fairly sure he's made two attempts on my life. You have to learn to tolerate people who are different from you, Garcia. He's blackmailing you, isn't he. I've never even heard of Vegas and I deny everything.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-09-17) |
Image #179499 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-11 |
| Image Number: |
179396 |
| Caption: |
What're you so excited about, Clyde? I'll put it this way, Big L: Ain't you never got nothin' you didn't expect to be getting' … come to realize you been waitin' on it for half your life an' you didn't never even know it? Was pushing my buttons the whole point of all this? 'Course not, Big L. I just forgot you can't never stand double negatives.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-09-11) |
Image #179396 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-23 |
| Image Number: |
178670 |
| Caption: |
What are you so happy about, Lemont? Well, this morning Lionel and I had breakfast at Pancake-ville. When it came time to calculate a tip, I asked my phone What's 22% of $22.22? and my phone told me. That's when it occurred to me, we're living in the future! We have electric cars, drones, instant knowledge at our fingertips ... It's the future I've dreamt of my entire life! (Sigh) ... you always did hate math. Only in the future can a man track down his old math teacher on Facebook and gloat.
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-07-23) |
Image #178670 |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-14 |
| Image Number: |
178556 |
| Caption: |
According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
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| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2019-07-14) |
Image #178556 |
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