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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-22 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-22 Pub. Date: 2019-04-22
Image Number: 177335
Caption: Summer break has left you with too much time on your hands. One of your eyelashes moved.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-10 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-10 Pub. Date: 2019-03-10
Image Number: 176439
Caption: Un croissant, s'il vous plait. Not following This does not count. I'm not done. Also deux espresso. For ma belle femme, une omelette avec fromage. No. No. No. No. No. You said you'd take me on a trip. This is just a stupid café! Sweetie, use your imagination. Inhale the scent of French food. Picture quaint architecture. Think of this strange little waiter as a colorful street performer. Practice speaking in the local tongue. Le petit man is quite strange. Leave me out of this! Monsieur, where is your - how do you say? - toilettes?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-09 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-09 Pub. Date: 2018-12-09
Image Number: 175069
Caption: Good morning, sir, Rudy Park, citizen blogger. It's a quiet Sunday morning. Leave me in peace. Interesting. Sounds like you're hiding something! What? Do you owe back taxes? Did you take steroids? Have you filmed a music video with a scantily clad Melania lookalike, like that rapper T.I. did? Did you dress up in some weird animal costume? Was it a giraffe? I will get to the bottom of it!!! Help me out, I've got a self-imposed blogging deadline every six minutes. Sorry, pal. Local man denies besmirching Melania and mocking giraffes, but apologizes anyway. Leave us in peace!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-25 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174826
Caption: Tired of long-winded pundits overanalyzing the news? Your days of boring news talk shows are behind you! Welcome CNM viewers to a sizzling new concept in talk shows: No you are! I'm Brit Johnson, your host. Today's first topic, Health Care Reform. Joining me from the left, Damon Silver. From the right, Paula Doyle. Damon, your thoughts? It's complicated but I'll tell you what's obvious. Paula's all wrong. She's a decent person, but when it comes to health care, she's an idiot. No you are! No you are! No you are! Whoa, calm down. Keep it civil. Next up, the deficit. Paula? No you are! Love this show. No YOU are! I know you are but what am I?!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-27 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-27 Pub. Date: 2018-09-27
Image Number: 174222
Caption: Generation-I. Generation-V. What're you old folks doing? Renaming your generation. I'm thinking Generation I - 'cause you're living virtual lives. Where'd he go? Got bored after 10 seconds and left to send an instant message to someone across the room.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-21 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-21 Pub. Date: 2018-05-21
Image Number: 171806
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say feed me, walk me, I need to potty, or leave me alone, or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout I'm running! when the dog is running.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-06 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-06 Pub. Date: 2018-05-06
Image Number: 170676
Caption: One peppermint shake, two straws. Oh no. We're back together again. In fact, make that just one straw. We'll share it. I don't want anything to separate us ever again. Two. What are you trying to do, sugar-puss, give me the mouth-herpes you caught form that Sheila? I told you, daffodil-bottom, that wasn't mouth-herpes, it was just a sore where I'd accidentally bitten my lip. And I would never have even been with Sheila if you hadn't just ditched me for that hobo. Biff Manly is a sailor who lives in a houseboat. He's not a hobo ... dear. Do you have any drinks that taste like the high seas? Leave me out of this! I see you've got a drink called The Sheila. We'll. Have. That.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-03 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-03 Pub. Date: 2018-05-03
Image Number: 171061
Caption: Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to understand sarcasm.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-02 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171060
Caption: Did you clear all the homeless people out of the alley, minion? You were serious? They're people, not leaves. I can't just sweep them all away, boss. Housing is getting unaffordable. It's not their fault. Hmm … you may have a point, minion. They're a sign of the times. They lend the cafe authenticity. There must be a way to monetize them. Survey the customers. See how much they'd pay to take selfies with authentic 21st century Americans in the background. Very bad man.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-26 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170878
Caption: What do you mean you want me to vote illegally this November? I'm registered. Yes … but Ernesto isn't. Ernesto Mumumba Chang Yurchenkovitz is an illegal immigrant who tunneled his way across the Atlantic to vote for tax-raising liberal café regulators. Report to the alley at two a.m. Someone who's definitely not me will leave you a big fake mustache, a Yo Soy Ernesto t-shirt, and an ISIS membership card. When you're caught voting, public sentiment will swing our way. You have some never asking me to do this after refusing to let me take a potty break. Stop whining. My inside man at ICE will make sure you're probably not deported.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-26 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168933
Caption: You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!! Ok. Where's the drink? What do you mean? I drank it. I wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste. You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's now how it works. You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you. That's not how it works!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-07 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166399
Caption: That's not going to work. I don’t know what you mean, Randy. That guy over there is taking pictures of the café, probably to post on Yelp. Really? I hadn't noticed. You're standing several feet closer to him than I am so that you'll appear to be larger than me. Same trick they did in the Lord of the Rings films to make Gandalf appear to be much larger than the hobbits. Nonsense, I resent that accusation. I'm standing right in front of you. So ... what can I get you, Randy? I am not slowly inching to my left. You're right. You're quickly inching to your left. Thank you for admitting I'm right.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-04 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-04 Pub. Date: 2018-01-04
Image Number: 166788
Caption: Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-25 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-25 Pub. Date: 2017-12-25
Image Number: 166539
Caption: Boss? There was a scrawny pigeon taped to my bedroom window this morning. A post-it note stuck to its back said "Sincerely, Armstrong." So it wasn't a dream! Last night, as I slumbered in my bed, I was visited by three spirits. They took me on a tour of Christmases past, present, and future. I used the tips future-me gave me to tell past-me to save money so present-me can buy the right obscure stocks, so future-me can reap huge dividends in 2047. Very. Bad. Man. The ghosts said something about my not appreciating you. So I swung by and left you a Christmas dinner, to pacify them.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-14 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-14 Pub. Date: 2017-12-14
Image Number: 166032
Caption: I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-03 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163383
Caption: Why do they call it the "chickenpox," Sadie? Funny you should ask, cretin. The year was 1767. Great-great-great-great-grandmother Sadie discovered that smallpox and the "varicella-zoset virus" were not related after all. But as usual, her nemesis, Dr. Heberden, pilfered her research and claimed credit. That's when old Sadie shoved him head-first into his Christmas chicken's rear-end, and the rest was history. The history books leave everything out. Guess where cranberry sauce came from?!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-24 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-24 Pub. Date: 2017-09-24
Image Number: 162444
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up as me. This is a space for discussing you, not other people. I hear you, I hear you. What'd Brock Manly say when you told him that?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-15 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162613
Caption: I've edited our Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. I could not care less. Now whenever anyone searches for "Sadie Cohen" … they'll find that your personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired … and that you're the world's first successfully-bred human-wildebeest hybrid. I was wrong. I could care less.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-29 left you 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-29 Pub. Date: 2017-08-29
Image Number: 162100
Caption: Hey boss, have you ever sued someone for slander or libel? Of course I have, minion. Many times. In fact, what day is it? Is it Tuesday? I usually reserve Tuesdays for suing people who leave bad Yelp reviews of my café. Or is it Wednesday? On Wednesdays, I like to stand on the corner and mutter "big toe" over and over again to crowds and then sue anyone who calls me "crazy". Or is today Thursday? I have a lawyer on retainer, and I like to get my money's worth. Plus, everyone needs a hobby. That's crazy! ... Cool. "Crazy-cool," I mean.
     
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