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The Joke Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-05-08 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171130
Caption: Cooking segment??? Why do we need a cooking segment? To break up the strip. Here's a list of recent story lines … Skin cancer week, salad bartender week, Pigmies week, Dick the Cat dies week and toupee week. Skin cancer is no joke. Which is why we need a cooking segment. Who wants to chop the squirrel?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-21 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-21 Pub. Date: 2018-04-21
Image Number: 170597
Caption: So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-18 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170576
Caption: I demand the right to fire Dick Fink, sir. He's incompetent, he's a snake, and I'm pretty sure he's the one who put that family of skunks in my desk. I'm still not sure I buy the skunks, Garcia … which reminds me, did you ever complete that course on personal hygiene? Don't change the subject. Dick Fink wants my job, sir. He's been trying to ruin me ... for year. I'm not imagining this. I know ... I sound paranoid. But that's all part of his secret plan. Take the rest of the day off, Garcia. 2002.
     
4. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-04-18 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170582
Caption: Mike goes to the dermatologist …I'm here to have a procedure on my arm. Sign in please. Right-handed, ouch! Ok. That's not funny. Allergic to derm jokes.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-16 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170574
Caption: 2016. Trump's not going to win. Not worried about him. That's why you should worry about him!!! What do you mean? Every time an impossible candidate wins, it's because people didn't worry about him. No one worried about Nixon. Nixon was a has-been. No one worried about Reagan. Reagan was a joke. Barack Obama ... he was nobody. 2018. No way President Trump can survive all these scandals. Thanks, you've just doomed us all.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-07 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170209
Caption: How was your date last night, little buddy? I'm not sure. We were having a great time, laughing, joking … when out of nowhere she said that's rude. That's what I asked. She answered you're acting all annoyed all of a sudden. I said Why? She said … You sighed. Please tell me your response was simply I didn't mean anything by it. I helpfully informed her that a sigh is a reflexive bodily function we do subconsciously several times an hour to reinflate the alveoli in our lungs to allow for the transport of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Sigh.
     
7. Comic Strip Hilary Price  Rhymes with Orange 2018-04-03 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Hilary Price
Comic/Cartoon: Rhymes with Orange
Viewable Date: 2018-04-03 Pub. Date: 2018-04-03
Image Number: 170061
Caption: Closing Time. At least you don't have to open tomorrow. Sale. Working here is a joke. God forbid they splurge on a security system.
     
8. Comic Strip John Hambrock  The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 2018-04-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169612
Caption: Dad! Dad!! Come quick! There's a giant rhinoceros trying to pick a fight with our car!! Oh? Whoa! Now he's lifting up the front end with his horn! I hear rhinos are strong. Do something! Call 911, call the zoo, call animal control. I will as soon as I finish the paper. Yawn. Errrgh! April Fool on you too, son. Dad didn't even care! I don't get it! Maybe he wants a new car.
     
9. Comic Strip Jay Stephens Bob Weber, Jr.  Oh, Brother! 2011-01-28 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Jay Stephens Bob Weber, Jr.
Comic/Cartoon: Oh, Brother!
Viewable Date: 2018-03-28 Pub. Date: 2011-01-28
Image Number: 58192
Caption: Bud, you got a box in the mail! Open it for me! Yes! It's the rubber poop I ordered for the "Gross Out Novelty Company"!!! Hey … I don't remember also ordering this fake vomit. It's not fake.
     
10. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2018-03-26 joke 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2018-03-26 Pub. Date: 2018-03-26
Image Number: 169726
Caption: Is it legal to substitute a Waitress, there's a fly in my coffee joke for a Waiter, there's a fly in my soup joke? I'm afraid not. Henny Youngman once spent six months in jail for saying, Take my wife. I entreat you.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-24 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-24 Pub. Date: 2018-03-24
Image Number: 169643
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! Could you explain your joke for the other day about the flying squirrel and the great acorn. Nothing doing. Jokes are never funny once they're explained. Please? I'm sure I'll still find it funny. Sigh. Fine ... When I said my ancestor was a flying squirrel who prayed to the great acorn to get rid of the triceratops who were trampling her magnolias, I was implying that that's why the asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. That's not funny. I will hunt you to the ends of the earth!!!
     
12. Comic Strip Dan Piraro  Bizarro 2018-03-17 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Dan Piraro
Comic/Cartoon: Bizarro
Viewable Date: 2018-03-17 Pub. Date: 2018-03-17
Image Number: 169236
Caption: Eat, drink & be hairy! Not that joke again. North American Bigfoot Council. Stale Toast.
     
13. Comic Strip John Hambrock  The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 2018-03-14 joke 
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2018-03-14 Pub. Date: 2018-03-14
Image Number: 169303
Caption: You do a great job, Ernest. Thanks. Getting the news from the morning paper is much more satisfying than reading it off a smartphone. And besides, smartphones would break if you heaved them onto people's porches. What?! He's joking. I am?
     
14. Comic Strip John Hambrock  The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 2018-02-20 joke 
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2018-02-20 Pub. Date: 2018-02-20
Image Number: 168545
Caption: So, broccoli, cauliflower, and bean salad - Ooo … I've heard this one. They walk into a bar and no, wait … The broccoli tells the cauliflower something. Shoot, how does it go? They're what we're having for dinner. No, that's not it.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-14 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-14 Pub. Date: 2018-02-14
Image Number: 168443
Caption: I just can't anymore. There is no can't, little buddy. We can do anything we set our mints to unless we give up. When you say I can't, what I hear is I won't. Now there are photos of Richard Dreyfuss groping fans behinds and nether regions. Do you think it's too soon to tweet some Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind jokes. You can't.
     
16. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2018-01-28 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 166609
Caption: Remember how we fought when we were kids? Yeah. You were so annoying. Always hogging the bathroom. At least I didn't stink it up. You were such a slob. And you were a pest. Like that time you put Jell-O in my shoes. You stapled my shirts to their hangers! Yeah, but you filled my Oreos with toothpaste! 'Cuz you put glitter in my shampoo bottle You called me a waste of perfectly good carbon. You called me a Cheeto-headed lardbutt. I kinda miss those days, don't you? yeah. Want me to give you a wedgie?
     
17. Comic Strip Jerry Van Amerongen  Ballard Street 2018-01-27 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Jerry Van Amerongen
Comic/Cartoon: Ballard Street
Viewable Date: 2018-01-27 Pub. Date: 2018-01-27
Image Number: 167149
Caption: Oh, Lois, not another plunger joke!
     
18. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2018-01-24 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2018-01-24 Pub. Date: 2018-01-24
Image Number: 167832
Caption: Health Insurance Co. They say laughter is the best medicine so I'm pretty sure this new premium quote is meant as a little joke.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-08 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-08 Pub. Date: 2018-01-08
Image Number: 167089
Caption: How was your New Years? Great. This year, I was designated good guy with a gun. You know how every year, bozos all over America fire off their semi-automatic rifles into the air to ring in the new year? Well, the NRA has a hotline for that. You call it, they send out a good guy with a gun to blast all those bullets out of the sky before they can come back down on you and your kids ... You're joking, right? Of course I'm joking. Everyone knows those bullets don't come back down.
     
20. Comic Strip Dan Piraro  Bizarro 2017-12-23 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Dan Piraro
Comic/Cartoon: Bizarro
Viewable Date: 2017-12-23 Pub. Date: 2017-12-23
Image Number: 166074
Caption: It's just a practical joke on the boss. He's big into bowling.
     
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