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The Joke Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2014-12-12 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2014-12-12 Pub. Date: 2014-12-12
Image Number: 119741
Caption: Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-07 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-07 Pub. Date: 2014-12-07
Image Number: 119211
Caption: I'm rewatching J. Michael Straczynski's Babylon 5 for the fifth time, and something's bugging me. The show's all about right vs. wrong and good vs. evil. It's maybe the best morality play ever filmed for tv. Even the goofy comic relief character, Vir Cotto, ends up risking everything to rescue thousands of women and children from a holocaust. In that episode, he personally represents the morality of the entire show. Why, then, did J. Michael Straczynski end the episode with Vir joking that all marriages have problems after he found out his new wife was a raving bigot who had happily taken part in committing that genocide? If even J. Michael Straczynski would ruin his best story by going for a cheap laugh, it's not wonder everything coming out of Hollywood is dumbed down! Explain yourself, J. Michael Straczynski. Who are you and how did you get my phone number? That's not important right now.
     
3. Comic Strip Rick Kirkman Jerry Scott  Baby Blues 2014-12-04 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Rick Kirkman Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Baby Blues
Viewable Date: 2014-12-04 Pub. Date: 2014-12-04
Image Number: 119320
Caption: Excuse me … Zoe? What do you want? DO I have something on my face? AIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! It's good to have sisters. NOW will you put the Halloween stuff back in the attic? On my way.
     
4. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2014-12-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2014-12-01 Pub. Date: 2014-12-01
Image Number: 119823
Caption: Subatomic Particle Super-Collider Humor. You'll never guess who I ran into yesterday! (Published originally on May 18, 2009.)
     
5. Comic Strip Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2014-11-09 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2014-11-09 Pub. Date: 2014-11-09
Image Number: 117906
Caption: Beetle, meet Zach and Tyler. Twins? This gives me an idea! 'Bye, Sarge! Hi, Sarge! 'Bye, Sarge! Hi, Sarge! HI, SARGE! This is a lot better than I expected!
     
6. Comic Strip Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2014-11-05 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2014-11-05 Pub. Date: 2014-11-05
Image Number: 118210
Caption: Joke all you want, Helen, but this sweater was quite popular. And I always thought it was kind of artistic-looking. What do they call this style? Cubism? Impressionism? Vandalism.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-19 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-19 Pub. Date: 2014-10-19
Image Number: 117068
Caption: I have been an underachiever all my life. I blame my mother. Dr. Noodle. She praised me all the time. She OOZED praise whenever I got an "A", or a "B", or a "C." Whenever I told a joke, funny or not. She gushed praise whenever I had a date, or got any job, or solved any problem, or petted the dog, or made my own sandwich. When I accidentally ran over that moose, she praised me for sending it to "a better place." So you've never had to actually impress her. I once THOUGHT about trying, and she praised me for that.
     
8. Comic Strip Berkeley Breathed  Opus 2006-06-11 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Berkeley Breathed
Comic/Cartoon: Opus
Viewable Date: 2014-10-13 Pub. Date: 2006-06-11
Image Number: 13940
Caption: Opus! Come out of hiding. The immigration guys left hours ago. This country fails to appreciate what we border jumping aliens do for them. Let me give you an example: If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?" Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig loses its voice ... It is dis-gruntled? You see what I'm trying to say. Yes. If not for immigrant idiot penguins, who would tell the shoddy jokes that Americans won't tell? Thank you and good night.
     
9. Comic Strip Berkeley Breathed  Bloom County 1982-01-08 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Berkeley Breathed
Comic/Cartoon: Bloom County
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 1982-01-08
Image Number: 78782
Caption: Diana? Luv? Unlock the door! I give in! Our son won't be named "Butch!" I promise! Really! Okay. But our daughter will be named "Fannie." Slam! A ROYAL JEST, MY TRUFFLE!!
     
10. Comic Strip Chris Browne  Hagar The Horrible 2014-10-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2014-10-01 Pub. Date: 2014-10-01
Image Number: 116782
Caption: How's your side business of … … writing jokes for the court jester? VERY BAD … the KING was NOT amused! I guess you won't be writing anything for the jester again! Not exactly - now I'm writing his obituary!
     
11. Comic Strip Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2014-09-20 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2014-09-20 Pub. Date: 2014-09-20
Image Number: 116174
Caption: A man and a monkey walk into a bar … Who is this guy? The bartender says, "I don’t serve monkeys … " The general is trying a comedian to warm up the crowd before his speech.
     
12. Comic Strip Alex Hallatt  Arctic Circle 2014-09-15 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Alex Hallatt
Comic/Cartoon: Arctic Circle
Viewable Date: 2014-09-15 Pub. Date: 2014-09-15
Image Number: 116150
Caption: I've never been to a green dentist before. How are you going to treat me? Open wide … Your sense of humor is bad for business.
     
13. Comic Strip Jim Toomey  Sherman's Lagoon 2014-09-10 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Jim Toomey
Comic/Cartoon: Sherman's Lagoon
Viewable Date: 2014-09-10 Pub. Date: 2014-09-10
Image Number: 116001
Caption: Vinny, it was nice meeting you and playing a round together. Aren't you forgetting something? We had five big ones riding on this game. Oh, right. Here you go. On crisp five-dollar bill. Is this a joke? Huh? The mustache on Lincoln? I didn’t draw it.
     
14. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2014-09-07 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115286
Caption: Hi! What's your name? Mike du Jour. Tell you what, Mike du Jour, you go to the end of the bar … … order me a glass of wine, and after it arrives … you come running up and I'll give you my number. AAUGH!! WHUMP. You don’t read a lot of comics, do you? Where'd she go?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-02 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-02 Pub. Date: 2014-09-02
Image Number: 115993
Caption: I've decided to have a kid. I've decided to get my hearing checked. No, really. There are two ways to become a YouTube star. Either pull pranks on strangers … … or post cute kid videos. And since I'm kind of shy … First check if you're on the federal "do-not-reproduce" list.
     
16. Comic Strip Chris Browne  Hagar The Horrible 2014-09-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2014-09-01 Pub. Date: 2014-09-01
Image Number: 115553
Caption: It was a mistake to take a hostage on a TWO-MONTH voyage. Especially when it's a court jester! Stop me if you heard this one …
     
17. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2014-09-01 joke 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2014-09-01 Pub. Date: 2014-09-01
Image Number: 116124
Caption: Have you heard the one about the priest who goes into a bar and has several cold Brewskis? Thank God it's a true story, not some dumb joke! (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-30)
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-29 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-29 Pub. Date: 2014-08-29
Image Number: 115532
Caption: You've really never had a dream, Clyde? Never, dawg. I always thought if I met an Atlantean, he'd look more like Aquaman. Get it? The ancient Greek historian Herodotus wrote about Atlantean refugees who lived on Mount Atlas. They apparently never dreamt. Unlike you, they were vegetarians. Maybe that's why you didn't get it. You need to work on your inside jokes, bruh.
     
19. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2014-08-28 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2014-08-28 Pub. Date: 2014-08-28
Image Number: 115577
Caption: The Coxswain. How'd you become a corporate coxswain? I thought about becoming a dogsledder, but I couldn’t imagine yelling "mush" the rest of my life. Plus the view's the same. Old joke, but I get your point.
     
20. Comic Strip Jerry Van Amerongen  Ballard Street 2014-08-26 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Jerry Van Amerongen
Comic/Cartoon: Ballard Street
Viewable Date: 2014-08-26 Pub. Date: 2014-08-26
Image Number: 115220
Caption: Ted's pleased to see he's figured an effective set of coordinates to the sidewalk.
     
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