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The Joke Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Jim Toomey  Sherman's Lagoon 2017-04-25 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Jim Toomey
Comic/Cartoon: Sherman's Lagoon
Viewable Date: 2017-04-25 Pub. Date: 2017-04-25
Image Number: 157129
Caption: Hello, my name is Sherman. I came to offer my condolences. I never met Granddad, and, well, I didn't prepare anything formal … so, I thought this might be a good time for a knock-knock joke. Thrown out of a funeral? Tough crowd.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-09 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 156035
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
3. Comic Strip Chris Browne  Hagar The Horrible 2017-04-03 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156275
Caption: I can't seem to properly tie this knot! Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it! Ha ha ha ha. What? You don't appreciate gallows humor?
     
4. Comic Strip Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-04-02 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155711
Caption: Dad, if I missed your birthday, would you still want me to get you a gift? Um … Well, yes, I think I would. And if your anniversary slipped my mind? Would you still want a card? I think it would be appropriate. What if I gave you a Father's Day card on the Monday after the third Sunday in June? Wait -- What? Dustin, I'm busy. I can't get this stupid mouse to work. Look - I move the mouse and nothing happens! I click the mouse and nothing happens! I unplugged it and plugged it back in, and still nothing!! I've been at it half the morning. Let me have a look at it. Well, here's the problem. Somebody put a piece of tape over the optical sensor. Happy April Fools' Day.
     
5. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2017-03-31 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2017-03-31 Pub. Date: 2017-03-31
Image Number: 156047
Caption: No caption (Three angels pose for a picture. One has taken another one's halo as a joke).
     
6. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2017-03-29 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2017-03-29 Pub. Date: 2017-03-29
Image Number: 155461
Caption: Ugh. What a freakin' mess. I'm sorry I misread your intentions, Les. I would've said something. My uncle already thinks I'm a loser. As soon as everyone hears I spent a fortune on my gay "girlfriend," I'll be a joke. Story of my life. I'm screwed no matter what I do. Well you're safe with me.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-24 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-24 Pub. Date: 2017-03-24
Image Number: 155929
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Britain." Specifically about how a recent poll shows that nearly half of Britain misses Colonialism. They miss the day when they rounded up natives into camps, massacred them, tortured them into submission, ethnically cleansed whole regions, carved up their lands into arbitrary countries and made them all play cricket. Before I open the line to callers, I'm warning you, there will be a strict limit on the number of "Make Britain Great Again" jokes I will allow.
     
8. Comic Strip Mike Twohy  That's Life 2005-08-25 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Twohy
Comic/Cartoon: That's Life
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2005-08-25
Image Number: 11356
Caption: No one told me he hates puns.
     
9. Comic Strip Chris Browne  Hagar The Horrible 2017-03-19 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2017-03-19 Pub. Date: 2017-03-19
Image Number: 155150
Caption: Please don't embarrass me tonight. Have I ever embarrassed you? Let me count the ways … Remember, Hagar, this is a fancy party! Be polite! Don't drink too much! Don't tell crude jokes! Don't eat too much! Don't flirt! And don't leave without saying goodbye!!
     
10. Comic Strip Bruce Tinsley  Mallard Fillmore 2017-03-19 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bruce Tinsley
Comic/Cartoon: Mallard Fillmore
Viewable Date: 2017-03-19 Pub. Date: 2017-03-19
Image Number: 155158
Caption: Can I ask you a few questions about college life? Sure. Well, it's really demanding, schedule-wise! … I have to make the time to go listen to a conservative speaker on campus … go buy eggs to throw at her … beat up some of her fans … and still find time to set the library on fire! You're joking, right? Reminiscing, actually ... we banned conservative speaker two years ago.
     
11. Comic Strip John Hambrock  The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee 2017-03-17 joke 
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155522
Caption: Let me guess. You're here for my Lucky Charms. Har, har! Very funny! I'm a leprechaun, so naturally you felt compelled to make a "Lucky Charms" joke. Frankly, I find such stereotypes hurtful and offensive. I'm so sorry. How can I make it up to you? You could show me where you hide your gold ... when you have a minute.
     
12. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2017-03-14 joke 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2017-03-14 Pub. Date: 2017-03-14
Image Number: 154868
Caption: Amusing bouquet. Too had that's as close as this strip will get to a punch line.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-05 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 154597
Caption: I just read that Bill Gates is set to become the world's first trillionaire by the year 2042. Which proves this is the greatest country on earth. Where else could one person amass more hundred dollar bills than there are people on earth? You know what I think? I think we should confiscate everything anyone earns over $1 billion and redistribute it. You what? It's only fair, when you think about it. Our billionaires became billionaires by automating and outsourcing and doing all sorts of things that put millions of Americans out of work. Redistributing the excess would give all those people a decent basic income, so they would never have to starve and die just because millionaires wanted to be billionaires. I'm practicing for April Fools. How'd I do? I didn't buy it for a second. Color-blinded.
     
14. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2017-03-04 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2017-03-04 Pub. Date: 2017-03-04
Image Number: 155077
Caption: Phyllis Stein, that was easily the most foul, crass, vulgar, offensive joke ever! Got any more? O.k. two drunks …
     
15. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2017-02-26 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2017-02-26 Pub. Date: 2017-02-26
Image Number: 154058
Caption: Attention everyone! I've tapped Picasso to go after the Harris account … He'll be the tip of the spear! Yay! Picasso! Tip of the spear! Tips of the spear! Tips of the Spear! BBL Inc. He has no chance does he? None. Butt of the joke! Butt of the joke! Butt of the joke!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-19 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 153817
Caption: I don't have any awesome mannerisms. I saw it on Cracked's Youtube channel. Jimmy Fallon always punctuates his jokes with gibberish. Harrison Ford always points at people he's talking to. Kristen Stewart always bites her lower lip. Jennifer Aniston clears her throat all the time. I've always thought she should get that checked. John Cusack is always getting rained on. Not sure that's a mannerism. How is my public supposed to do funny impersonations of me if I don't have any subtle but distinguishing mannerisms? Would winking at the end of every sentence be too obvious? Stop that.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-24 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-24 Pub. Date: 2017-01-24
Image Number: 153708
Caption: Hey boss, you asked to see me? Yes, I want to know why you haven't carried out my orders yet. What orders? I tweeted them last night at 3 a.m. Everyone knows Twitter proclamations are now to be taken as official policy. Except when I'm just joking. What? But that's confusing. You mean I'm keeping you on your toes. Now go deliver a cease and desist notice to that lemonade-stand kid outside.
     
18. Comic Strip Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker  Beetle Bailey 2017-01-20 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Walker Greg Walker Mort Walker
Comic/Cartoon: Beetle Bailey
Viewable Date: 2017-01-20 Pub. Date: 2017-01-20
Image Number: 153133
Caption: The psychiatrist called. His chair broke. I'll go fix it. Oh, look! The shrink has shrunk! This is not time to try to be funny.
     
19. Comic Strip Bruce Tinsley  Mallard Fillmore 2017-01-18 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bruce Tinsley
Comic/Cartoon: Mallard Fillmore
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153180
Caption: Salt. Wrap. Michelle, the house is all ready for the Trumps!
     
20. Comic Strip Bruce Tinsley  Mallard Fillmore 2017-01-16 joke 
Cartoonist(s): Bruce Tinsley
Comic/Cartoon: Mallard Fillmore
Viewable Date: 2017-01-16 Pub. Date: 2017-01-16
Image Number: 153178
Caption: Mallard's 2017 Daily New Year's Prediction #13 … The South, Brooklyn and Christmas sweaters will publicly thank Donald Trump … for lifting some of the smug-elitist-joke burden off of them.
     
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