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Rudy Park

Comics about java .

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21. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-05 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-05 Pub. Date: 2017-05-05
Image Number: 157562
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a "Trump Generator." You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like "fantastic." I put it online a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with "visit House of Java Cafe, it's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong." I have no idea what you're talking about. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are surprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man!!!
     
22. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-04 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-04 Pub. Date: 2017-05-04
Image Number: 157561
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie Advice Hour." "Mad in Montauk," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java .net Cybercafe. My husband and I are getting divorced, and it's gotten bitter and angry. The problem is, we have 43 mutual friends on Facebook, and he's being so unreasonable about which ones are rightly his. You're arguing over custody of your Facebook friends? What the @#$% is wrong with you people?! Obviously, they're all yours. Everyone knows it's usually the woman who created the friendships in the first place. Also, I should get the kids, right?
     
23. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-17 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157024
Caption: Hello, this is cable news. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. Our records show you didn't click on a single clip of the missiles our navy shot at Syria. I didn't what on the what now? We bought your complete web browsing history from your internet service provider. How could you resist watching all those beautiful instruments of death and destruction soar into the night sky. House of Java Cybercafe. Get out of my computer machine! What's with all your visits to old-biddies-doing-yoga-dot-com? ... Freak.
     
24. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-28 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156204
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. Movers. They charged me $800 extra to pack my stuff for me. But when they got to my new house, they just dumped everything in a chaotic heap and left. Serves you right you lazy pack-slacker!!! I'm shocked you didn't pay them an extra $200 to complain for you about the extra $800 you paid them. They'd do that?
     
25. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-08 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-08 Pub. Date: 2017-01-08
Image Number: 152225
Caption: He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And we'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert … I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. House of Java.
     
26. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-12 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-12 Pub. Date: 2016-11-12
Image Number: 150765
Caption: The election's over, boss, I don't think anyone wants reminded of it. Who's reminding them? All I asked you to do is make a few teensy little changes to our café's billboards. Change them from "House of Java beats Coffee King in 9 out of 10 taste tests: to "Crooked Coffee King is the most corrupt cafe in history. They're absolutely terrible." Nobody wants to see ads that remind them of Donald Trump!!! And change our print ads to "Coffee King should be in jail, believe me."
     
27. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-09 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150762
Caption: Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).
     
28. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-10 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-10 Pub. Date: 2016-10-10
Image Number: 149621
Caption: Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient species of the earth would like you to please consider not voting for Donald Trump.
     
29. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-07 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-07 Pub. Date: 2016-10-07
Image Number: 149322
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem? House of Java Cybercafe. I keep thinking back to the first debate between Trump and crooked Hillary. The more I think about it, the more fantastic I think Trump did. He was strong. Tremendous. Big-league. Give it up, Donald! I know it's you! A real man can admit it when a girl mops the floor with him. Nobody mopped the floor with Trump! That's all a media conspiracy! Never happened!
     
30. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-01 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-01 Pub. Date: 2016-10-01
Image Number: 149042
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Sad in Seattle," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I discovered my dad is a conspiracy theorist. He says Obama's not American, we never landed on the moon, and someone went back in time and re-edited Star Wars to give C-3PO one silver leg. Stop yer sniveling! Have you any idea how lucky you are to have a father who cared enough about you to give you such priceless material with which to mock him? Papa Cohen never did anything mock-worthy in his life. Um ... Ok ... I mocked him mercilessly for that.
     
31. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-16 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-16 Pub. Date: 2016-08-16
Image Number: 147398
Caption: I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."
     
32. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-12 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-12 Pub. Date: 2016-08-12
Image Number: 147087
Caption: Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge, gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that is exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java.net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.
     
33. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-31 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145649
Caption: Rudy, how's that print order coming? What print order? The "House of Java" flags I asked you to have printed. You were serious? Of course. Britain exiting the European Union was just the first domino to fall. Spain might be next , then Finland, then Foreignvania and all the other Anias. And that's just for starters. It's going to spread. My sources tell me the Maldives will be next to split up. Each coral atoll will become a separate and distinct Maldo. "Maldo"? From there the contagion will spread to Australia, which will become a collection of separate city states, some run by man, some run by marsupials. My calculations show it'll eventually spread to North America, where we'll disintegrate into thousands of tiny fiefdoms ruled by whoever is first to plant a flag. Are you sure you didn't forget to carry the "one"?
     
34. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-17 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-17 Pub. Date: 2016-06-17
Image Number: 144578
Caption: Hello, this is Hillary Clinton. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, I have won the Democratic party's nomination for President of the United States. I don't think so … and as a former Bernie Sanders supporter, it is in your best interest to work just as hard to help me win in the fall. House of Java Cybercafe. You haven't actually won yet, though. Winning is just a formality.
     
35. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-15 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-15 Pub. Date: 2016-06-15
Image Number: 144576
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses."
     
36. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-31 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-31 Pub. Date: 2016-05-31
Image Number: 143937
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John Miller" in New York, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My problem is tremendous. It's so big it's unbelievable: Why is crooked Hillary even allowed to run for president? She should be behind bars, in my totally impartial opinion. I know it's you, Trump! I'm not Trump. Would I love to be Trump? Of course! Who wouldn't?! Trump makes tremendous things happen for everyone who's fantastically lucky enough to be around him. Stop calling me, Trump!
     
37. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-19 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-19 Pub. Date: 2016-04-19
Image Number: 142131
Caption: Hi, this is John Kasich. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I'm calling to remind you I'm still running for "Just-In-Case." "Just-In-Case"? Yes. If Trump doesn't get enough delegates to win on the first ballot, the GOP can choose whomever it wants for president. It could choose Mitt Romney. It could choose Paul Ryan. It could even choose Kim Kardashian. House of Java Cybercafe. You are running for "Just-In-Case." Also, it says here you've got a bum ticker. Could you let your wife know I like long walks on the beach?
     
38. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-21 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-21 Pub. Date: 2016-02-21
Image Number: 138713
Caption: Rudy, I'd like you to broaden your skill-set. What for, boss? You have a real flair for making coffee. House of Java Cybercafe. But the era of the specialist is over. These days, workers must be able to perform the duties of several people. A lot of political cartoonists are now expected to also draw bar graphs and write articles covering the local car wash openings. I fired my long-time dentist so I could hire one who'd agree to also paint my bathroom. Workers specializing in just one thing is a historical aberration, anyway. For most of human history, people had to catch their own food, make their own clothes, dig their own graves ... and give offerings to their overlords. How good are you at painting bathrooms and performing root canals? How hard can that be? I'll go see if there's a root canal on Youtube.
     
39. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-15 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-15 Pub. Date: 2016-02-15
Image Number: 139252
Caption: HI, this is Florida Senator Marco Rubio. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I'm calling to say let's dispense once and for all with the notion that Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing. Ok. Say, what's the weather like in Florida? Let's dispense once and for all with the notion that Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing. House of Java. Ok. Hey, I've always wondered, are there really alligators there? Let's dispense once and for all with the notion that Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing. O ... K ... Well, it was nice chatting with you.
     
40. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-22 java 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-22 Pub. Date: 2016-01-22
Image Number: 137966
Caption: Hi, this is Martin O'Malley. Marty! I haven't heard from you since the Battle of the Bulge! No, no … I'm the Martin O'Malley who's running for president. You always were a kidder, Marty. I'm not "Marty"! I'm the former Governor of Maryland. I'm running for the Democratic nomination. I'm calling to tell you I'd love to have your vote. House of Java Cybercafe. Remember when you convinced General Patton you were his long-lost love-child? You always were a rascal. How's Trixie? I don't ... (Sigh) Fine. She's fine. Gotta go.
     
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