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The Itself Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-14 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-14 Pub. Date: 2019-09-14
Image Number: 179399
Caption: Total immunity is a terrible thought, Rosencrantz. Imagine being immune to disease, to heat, to cold, to the vacuum of space … even to time itself. What once was fresh and new and amazing … Will, before long, become tedious, monotonous, and, ultimately, mournful and wretched. Geez ... All you had to say was You've told me that story before. It would be an eternity of melancholy.
     
2. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-09-07 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-09-07 Pub. Date: 2019-09-07
Image Number: 179224
Caption: I think our doorbell is broken. Aw … I guess that's why it's been so quiet around here. I guess we should get it fixed. I say we give it another month or so and see if it fixes itself.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-15 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-15 Pub. Date: 2019-05-15
Image Number: 177634
Caption: Your generation is obsessed with chronicling itself. Blogging and Twittering, and sharing all your thoughts and feelings. When I was a girl, it was considered impolite to speak about oneself. We kept our feelings inside until they burned and hurt, and exploded finally in anger and violence. Oh, but you're too good for all that! I'm superior in all ways.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-18 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-18 Pub. Date: 2019-04-18
Image Number: 177235
Caption: Am I to understand that you body healed itself so you could come back here and make fun of my mindless consumerism? If that's true, do you realize what this means? I saved your life. I, Rudy Park, saved the life of Sadie Cohen. And I, Sadie Cohen, am about to end yours. You may thank me for eternity.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-12 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175741
Caption: This country's overrun with people who hate talking about racism more than they hate racism itself. I wrote an article about a breaking story. I called it White Man in a Pickup Truck Shoots into Black Family's Car, Kills Seven-Year-Old. Hundreds of people replied Why do you have to bring race into it? Bet they came up with all kinds of excuses. On of them said Some pickup-truck drivers just really don't like cars.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-12 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-12 Pub. Date: 2018-11-12
Image Number: 174935
Caption: Existence is cruel, Rosencrantz. And that is because of the nature of energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, so it must be stolen. For one creature to gain it, another creature or a plant must lose it and perish. To birth a star system and all its worlds ... a nebula must die. For a man to gain the good side of the sidewalk crack, his partner must lose it. Give it back. Your quarrel is not with me, Rosencrantz. It is with existence itself.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-11 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-11 Pub. Date: 2018-10-11
Image Number: 174390
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have to regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call Momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleaning. Just saying.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-31 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-31 Pub. Date: 2018-08-31
Image Number: 173792
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey? Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and a 1/2 minutes before falling asleep.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-08 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-08 Pub. Date: 2018-06-08
Image Number: 172072
Caption: I feel as if an interlude is coming to an end, Rosencrantz, and a new chapter begins anon. Stop using archaic words!! Fie! I have an appetency to force the world to bethink itself of anon.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-08 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-08 Pub. Date: 2018-06-08
Image Number: 172099
Caption: I feel as if an interlude is coming to an end, Rosencrantz, and a new chapter begins anon. Stop using archaic words!! Fie! I have an appetency to force the world to bethink itself of anon.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-06 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-06 Pub. Date: 2018-06-06
Image Number: 172070
Caption: I heard a loud, mysterious boom last night, Tyrone. As have people all over the world, Rosencrantz. Earthquakes where there should be none. Loud booms of unascertained origin. The masses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the earth itself. Or ... it could be that when you thought me asleep, you donned ballet shoes, crept to the middle of the alley and began twirling and dancing and accidentally leapt a grand jete into the dumpster ... it could've been that. What a man does in an alley, stays in the alley.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-06 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-06 Pub. Date: 2018-06-06
Image Number: 172097
Caption: I heard a loud, mysterious boom last night, Tyrone. As have people all over the world, Rosencrantz. Earthquakes where there should be none. Loud booms of unascertained origin. The masses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the earth itself. Or ... it could be that when you thought me asleep, you donned ballet shoes, crept to the middle of the alley and began twirling and dancing and accidentally leapt a grand jete into the dumpster ... it could've been that. What a man does in an alley, stays in the alley.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-19 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171506
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. Sigh. Just put on Gilligan's Island.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-18 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 169018
Caption: The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singularity had it coming.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-25 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168231
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-25 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168289
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
18. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2018-01-25 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167568
Caption: Say, haven't we seen this program before? Yep. The History Channel often repeats itself.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-25 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163097
Caption: Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-06 itself 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 160565
Caption: Your latest article was a little confusing, Lemont. What's confusing about my having solved Fermi's paradox? I've single-handedly explained how the universe could be filled with civilization, even though we've seen no evidence them. Did you know there's a possibility our universe exists within a black hole? ... and every black hole in our universe may contain an entire universe of its own? I've heard that. And did you know that people ultimately just can't stand those who are different from them? Don't you see, Susan? There is no paradox. When a civilization advances far enough, it doesn't fly to other stars. It thinks much bigger. It creates a black hole and vanishes into it so it can have a whole universe to itself. They could shape it and write its natural laws however they want. The Berniezoidians could have a whole universe full of single-payer healthcare, ... and the Trumpmagans could have a whole universe full of no undocumented immigrants. Oh. I was just confused about the part where you wrote "The Trumpmagans still insist Mexico will pay for the event horizon."
     
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