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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-20 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-20 Pub. Date: 2018-08-20
Image Number: 173683
Caption: Fireside Chat with: Recession Man! Isn't the recession technically over? Technically. But people are still hurting. It's tough out there. So if I can be of aid to a distressed gal … Just distressed gals? I don't understand the question. Tune in for a chat with: Recession Man!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-26 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-26 Pub. Date: 2018-06-26
Image Number: 172517
Caption: PEOPLE OF ARIZONA! This isn't Arizona. Stick with me. Fine. Arizonans: Walk up to a cop, pull out your immigration papers and demand to be checked! Bury the bigots in the paper!!! Bury me in earplugs.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-12 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-12 Pub. Date: 2018-05-12
Image Number: 171300
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Who do you thin has the best fries? McDonald's or Arby's? That depends. Which one is still fried in cattle grease? I know one or the other of them caved in to the anti-clogged-arteryists and switched to vegetable oil years ago. Health-fetishists ruin everything! Health isn't bad. Health is like everything else, too much of it is unhealthy!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-30 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171058
Caption: Hey boss, mind if I give the 3-day-old muffins to Homeless Harry instead of throwing them out? Are you insane? Do you have any idea how many people are becoming homeless and moving into the alley every day? Three years ago it was just Homeless Harry. But now it's also Wandering Wanda, Displaced Daryl, Desolate Davina, Forlorn Farzad, Dispossessed Dale, Outcast Oswald, Derelect Daphne, Exiled Evan, Refugee Rachel, Itinerant Irving, and Vagabond Vernon. Tomorrow it could be Yomeless You, you know. Yomeless isn't a word, so that's not possible.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-26 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170878
Caption: What do you mean you want me to vote illegally this November? I'm registered. Yes … but Ernesto isn't. Ernesto Mumumba Chang Yurchenkovitz is an illegal immigrant who tunneled his way across the Atlantic to vote for tax-raising liberal café regulators. Report to the alley at two a.m. Someone who's definitely not me will leave you a big fake mustache, a Yo Soy Ernesto t-shirt, and an ISIS membership card. When you're caught voting, public sentiment will swing our way. You have some never asking me to do this after refusing to let me take a potty break. Stop whining. My inside man at ICE will make sure you're probably not deported.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-25 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170877
Caption: Senator Kamala Harris isn't exactly winning over progressives, she's refusing to refuse giant corporate donations. Progressives hate that. She said as long as we have rules that make us disclose the donors, then the voters will know, and so what's the problem? Sound logic. Voting for her anyway doesn't mean we refuse her for refusing to refuse them. I suspect if we accept that she accepts bribes, that just means we're neglecting to inspect our elected. Fine, except I expect you to accept that I take exception to that.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-24 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170876
Caption: I'm thinking of moving to New York so I can vote for Governor Cuomo in the primaries. Cynthia Nixon is his challenger. You know … Miranda from Sex and the City. She's the progressive, and he's the establishment Democrat. I've always wanted to be part of an establishment. You sure this isn't 'cause you're still mad at how Miranda treated Steve on Sex and the City? You don't tell a man to hurry up mid-lovin'. Who does that??
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-19 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-19 Pub. Date: 2018-04-19
Image Number: 170595
Caption: The March Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 59% of Americans now favor Medicare-for-all. That's almost 60%! When asked if they'd favor it if people were still allowed to buy private supplemental insurance, the number skyrocketed to 75%. This ruins everything. I was used to calling it a leftist position. But if most people want it, isn't it now the centrist position? Don't panic, little buddy. Political labels are about mockery, not accuracy. That sounds awfully leftist of you.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-21 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-21 Pub. Date: 2018-03-21
Image Number: 169640
Caption: I had to lay off all the employees at my backup business. Backing people up in online arguments isn't profitable anymore? Not after last night. President Trump found out I was backing up Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, so he slapped a 30% tariff on my industry. Suddenly my foreign employees were costing me a fortune. So you're going to hire Americans to argue, then? No, I'm going to automate the whole thing. I've already programmed the hate-bot.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-04 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-04 Pub. Date: 2018-03-04
Image Number: 168535
Caption: I wonder what life was like before the internet. What are you talking about? You don't have to wonder what life was like before the internet. You were here! We have no proof of that. I've googled myself. There's no reference to me existing prior to 1994. No blog posts, no photos, no tweets. I mean sure, you can find my birth certificate, but that means nothing. There is nothing online that was written by me, personally prior to 1994. Stop that!!! I found a box of old polaroids. They're supposedly pictures of me as a child. But there's no proof of that. There are no photos of me that have verifiable metadata or time stamps prior to 1994. Don't look at me like that. There isn't a single link proving you existed prior to 1997 ... so respect your elders. Stop that!!!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-11 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-11 Pub. Date: 2018-02-11
Image Number: 167765
Caption: Told you fellers Trump would make America great ag'n. He weren't lyin', neither. At&T gave out bonuses. Sure they laid off a buncha folks at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, so that don't count. Wal-Mart gave a buncha workers raises … An' they laid off a buncha folks at Sam's Club at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, go that don't count. MAGA. Over a hundred companies are givin' out one-time $1000 bonuses an' sayin' it's 'cause of the billions of dollars in tax cuts they got. During the last gilded age, the robber barons sometimes handed out pocket change to the poor. They were placating the masses who wanted to break up their huge, unscrupulous, slave-wage-paying corporations. Sounds like fake hist'ry to me. Just saying, $1000 isn't much to pay for pitchfork insurance. We eat the poor.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-30 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-30 Pub. Date: 2018-01-30
Image Number: 167930
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Government shutdowns. My girlfriend was angry I didn't send her a birthday card. So I said, I did! But the government shut down so the post office isn't delivering mail, babe. Guess what she said? The post office is funded by our stamps! It doesn't shut down, you horrible cretin! Yeah ... that is what she said. How'd you know? Next caller!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-18 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-18 Pub. Date: 2017-12-18
Image Number: 166295
Caption: I've lost faith in everything, Randy. I feel like a tiny raft drifting in a stormy sea. There is no up. There is no down. There entire foundation of the world is made of flimsy tissue paper. Maybe the Buddhists are right. Maybe nothing is really real at all. Internet going down for a few hours last week isn't that big a deal, little buddy. Yes, it really is.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-29 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-29 Pub. Date: 2017-11-29
Image Number: 165442
Caption: I forgot to tell you "Happy Black Friday." What do you mean, Billy? Isn't that your holiday? Um … you're asking me that because I'm a merchant … Right? I guess so. Oh. That's good. I was about to ask "what are your parents teaching you?" What part of Africa do "merchants" come from?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-18 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164887
Caption: Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like I've already seen the whole movie. Bored now.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-29 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-29 Pub. Date: 2017-09-29
Image Number: 163107
Caption: Hello, this is Congress. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I'd like to talk to you about Bernie Sanders' expanded Medicare for All plan. Oh, lovely. Before we start … totally unrelated question … How do you feel about the terms "Socialism," "government-run" and "death panels"? Do those scare you to death? House of Java Cybercafe. Not really. Hold on ... What about "Boo!" Isn't that a term of endearment now?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-19 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159400
Caption: Is it true Santa Clause is holding Rudy hostage? Of course not. Where'd you hear such a thing. On Candorville.com. It's a real news site, not a fake news site. Billy, Billy, Billy. There's no such thing as "real news." "Real news" is a fairy tale parents tell their kids so their childhoods will be a little more magical. But Santa, he's real, isn't he? Of course he is. That's why I sell Santa cookies. Do me a favor? Don't tell my mommy I know "real news" is fake. It makes her happy so I'll go along with it.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-08 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-08 Pub. Date: 2017-06-08
Image Number: 158834
Caption: Sir, we're not going to be flying over the North Pole. But isn't that the fastest way to Russia? Yes, but as you may know, the North Pole is a totalitarian dictatorship embroiled in a bloody civil war between state forces and elfin rebels. I don't follow the news. Anyway, my ticket says we transfer to a connecting flight there. Didn't you guys already know about this war? That's not why we're avoiding it. Santa International just melted. @#$% global warming.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-28 isn't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157937
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you out of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
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