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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-10 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-10 Pub. Date: 2019-11-10
Image Number: 180284
Caption: My Uncle Elroy passed away. I have so many regrets. We were never all that close. But he was always there, for all my graduations, for all the family dinners, and to take me to ballgames. But the last three years, our relationship was … not good. We argued all the time about Donald Trump. Oh my. He fell for ever conspiracy theory. He'd send me link after link to dailynutjob.com, and I'd respond with links of my own to actual news, to scientific journals, etc. The last time we messaged each other, he accused me of being part of the Deep State, and I accused him of being gullible. I see. You regret that you wasted his last years on earth arguing about Donald Trump. I regret that Uncle Elroy's not here to see Donald Trump finally get impeached.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-31 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-31 Pub. Date: 2019-10-31
Image Number: 180105
Caption: What do you mean It's all Apple's fault? In 2006, we weren't this polarized. Around 2008, the concept of objective reality died. Suddenly there was a website to back up every perspective, birther or not … science or anti-science … sane or not … Suddenly we wanted validation instead of straight talk. It's obvious what conditioned us to pick and choose our own realities ... Apps. I think you're still just mad the new iPhone cost you $1,000.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-18 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-18 Pub. Date: 2019-10-18
Image Number: 179918
Caption: What do you mean We should never try to contact aliens? You used to be all for that sort of thing. Yeah, but … you know that UFO the Pentagon admitted was spotted by the USS Nimitz? The one that darted off at unimaginable speeds and angles when our jets tried to intercept it? Joe Rogan interviewed the pilot. One of the viewers in the comments wrote This is exactly how a cat would describe the red dot. You can't let some random internet guy's post change your whole worldview, Lemont. Mister Fusion seems very wise.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-12 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-12 Pub. Date: 2019-10-12
Image Number: 179809
Caption: I told you we should start accepting Paypal. Spare change? Spare™ change?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-09 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-09 Pub. Date: 2019-10-09
Image Number: 179806
Caption: I'm using reader feedback to perfect a book I'm writing called Lemont's Axioms of the Internet. Ooh. Tell me more. I posted my first axiom on my site and waited for the comments. What's the axiom? Lemont's first axiom: People who start a reply with actually almost always go on to write something that's utter nonsense. Actually, I think that's very observant of you, Lemont. 89 percent of my readers wrote exactly the same thing.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-03 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-03 Pub. Date: 2019-10-03
Image Number: 179728
Caption: What are you doing, little buddy? Practicing my hateface. It's a mixture of disgust, snarkiness, and confusion. When I wear it, it protects me from liking something that the internet has chosen to hate. DC's got a new movie coming out: Joker. I don't want to be caught unprepared, like I was with Batman v Superman. You loved that film. Yes, but I repented.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-02 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-02 Pub. Date: 2019-10-02
Image Number: 179727
Caption: I saw your free wi-fi sign. Yes, it's free for customers. False advertising! If I have to BUY something, it's not free! Ok. The password is buysomethingorgetout. Is that uppercase or lower?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-24 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-24 Pub. Date: 2019-09-24
Image Number: 179618
Caption: I'd like to discuss a collaboration, Lemont. I'm all ears, Perry. Perry? Don't you meant Mr. White? When you worked here, you called me Mr. White. Your blog may be the internet's 47th largest source for news and opinion, but don't let that go to your head ... Brown. The chronicle fell to number 48, I take it. The chronicle would like to parachute you into the inferno engulfing the Amazon ... to report on it, I mean.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-06 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-06 Pub. Date: 2019-09-06
Image Number: 179298
Caption: I had a horrible day, bruh. 'Member how you gave a speech at a high school the other day? 'Member how you threw up on them kids? I been tryna sell bootleg DVDs of it the past couple of days. Ain't nobody buyin'. E'ry last one of them kids had recorded it an' already posted it to Instagram ... for free! I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Internet be lettin' amateurs run us professionals out of business.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-18 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-18 Pub. Date: 2019-08-18
Image Number: 178993
Caption: Kelly messaged me again. After a year of silence. She sent me a photo of an ice cube tray. No words or anything. Just the photo. Dr. Noodle. How did that make you feel? Like she was trying to tell me something. So I studied the picture for a long time. And then it occurred to me: I'd seen that ice cube tray before! it was mine! In my freshman year of college, she stole it and refused to give it back. I see. What do you think this means? I think it means she still loves me with the same passion she felt for me back then, and that she wants me to drop everything and fly to her and run off with her into the sunset. Sometimes, narcissists will play games just to make sure others are thing about the ... When I asked what it meant, she said That hurts and blocked me!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-26 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-26 Pub. Date: 2019-07-26
Image Number: 178673
Caption: Clyde, what was going on between you and Ice-T on Twitter the other day? Jus' a Twitter beef, bruh. Even a O.G. I respect ain't above some schoolin'. But both of you just went back and forth about which one of you cared less about the back and forth you were doing. All day. Fools better recognize that I couldn't care less if they recognize.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-23 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-23 Pub. Date: 2019-07-23
Image Number: 178670
Caption: What are you so happy about, Lemont? Well, this morning Lionel and I had breakfast at Pancake-ville. When it came time to calculate a tip, I asked my phone What's 22% of $22.22? and my phone told me. That's when it occurred to me, we're living in the future! We have electric cars, drones, instant knowledge at our fingertips ... It's the future I've dreamt of my entire life! (Sigh) ... you always did hate math. Only in the future can a man track down his old math teacher on Facebook and gloat.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-22 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-22 Pub. Date: 2019-06-22
Image Number: 178165
Caption: Sir, what do you mean you restored the YouTube ad budget? I canceled that because our ads were running on white supremacist videos, and not on anti white-supremacist videos! We don't discriminate against minorities, Garcia. Not even against bigot-Americans. They're not a minority! That's it. I'm sending you to insensitivity training.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-21 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-21 Pub. Date: 2019-06-21
Image Number: 178164
Caption: We cut our ad budget for YouTube because of all the hate for hate of hate content. You … what? Well, first they demonetized a few bigots and white supremacists so our ads wouldn't run on their filth. We thought that was fine. But then they also demonetizes people who made videos opposing those bigots. As if both sides were equally bad. I'm so tired of both-side-ism ... on both sides. Stop that.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-17 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-17 Pub. Date: 2019-06-17
Image Number: 178142
Caption: White supremacist moves into town … Florida teen accused of posing as a doctor. Denies diagnosing patients … Middle school teacher secretly ran white supremacist podcast … AR-15 rifles to protect crops from hogs … What on earth do you Google that makes youtube think you want to watch all that? The most inbred people of all time.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-10 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-10 Pub. Date: 2019-06-10
Image Number: 178020
Caption: … So I said Yeah, I self-publish my own books. You know why? … Because it's not 1950 anymore. By self-publishing I keep all the profits. And since most people buy online, I can sell just as many books as a traditional publisher … So stop mocking for it. Bruh ... that was no way to talk to your momma.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-24 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-24 Pub. Date: 2019-05-24
Image Number: 177720
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a Trump Generator. You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like fantastic. I put it onling a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with Visit House of Jave Cafe. It's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong. I have no idea what you're talking aboutk. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are suprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man.!!!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-04 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177388
Caption: Where you been last couple days, Big L? The Star Trek Discovery season finale was incredible. It made me really want a Captain Pike spin-off. So naturally, I've been in every discussion forum and all over social media trying to motivate everyone on earth to sign the CBS, give us a pre-TOS Star Trek series w/ Captain Pike. Struggle is pointless. petition on Change.org. Naturally don't meant what you think it mean. How do you say please in Hindi?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-25 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-25 Pub. Date: 2019-04-25
Image Number: 177326
Caption: What're you doing? Just setting up. Dr. Noodle. I've livecasting a reaction video to my therapy. It's streaming on Facebook Live and Youtube right now. Well? What're you waiting for? I think I can dispense with asking Why have you come to therapy. Make sure you skip all the boring questions, I don't want to lose viewers.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-26 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-26 Pub. Date: 2019-03-26
Image Number: 176940
Caption: Wanna know how I know Star Trek: Discovery is a big deal? How? There are conspiracy theorists on Youtube trying to debunk it. I've seen people debunk the JFK assassination. I've seen them debunk the moon landing. Never in my life have I seen people try to prove that an insidious cabal of tv executives is deceiving fans into thinking a tv show is actually set in the universe they say it's set in. Their hour-long video about how the uniforms are 25 percent different from Captain Kirk's almost lured me in. Dios mio.
     
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