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The Instead Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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141. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-09-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-09-13 Pub. Date: 2015-09-13
Image Number: 131635
Caption: What shall we have with our barbecue? How about coldslaw? Did you say coldslaw? It's not coldslaw, it's coleslaw. That doesn't make any sense. There's no coal in it. But … it is usually cold. It's not that kind of coal. It's c-o-l-e. not c-o-a-l. What the heck is a cole? I have no idea, but that's what it is!! It doesn't matter. I changed my mind. Now I want potato shmalad instead.
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-16 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-16 Pub. Date: 2015-08-16
Image Number: 130397
Caption: Are you ok, Rudy? Yes. Fine. Just a flu I can't shake. Probiotics. You should be taking probiotics. And barnacles. Wait … head is fuzzy. What'd you say? It's an old trick Ernie Hemingway taught me when we were out on the high seas. You don scuba gear, go down to the docks, and scrape barnacles off a ship hull. Then you sleep with them stacked on your forehead and in the morning you stir them into your third mojito. I use ginseng tea instead of mojitos. Works just as well. I haven't been sick a single day in the last 55 years. I think I'll just stick to Robitussin. You're a corporate tool!!! You've got barnacle breath.
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-30 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-30 Pub. Date: 2015-07-30
Image Number: 130317
Caption: Twitter™. Twitter.com/Candorville. @Candorville - I read your interview with your old roommate who joined ISIS. It was heart-breaking, cuz it reminded me of my own daughter who also ran away to join terrorists … instead of staying home and ordering the brand new cotton flavored grizzly bear treats from tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. The pope is right, Capitalism is getting out of control. Twitter™. Oh, how I loved my daughter.
     
144. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-07-11 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-07-11 Pub. Date: 2015-07-11
Image Number: 129082
Caption: What's in the bag, Earl? Oh, I bought some organic vegetables. Can I see? Oh, shoot. The darn clerk must've put donuts in the bag instead.
     
145. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-05-29 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-05-29 Pub. Date: 2015-05-29
Image Number: 127242
Caption: Do you want another slice, Earl? No, thanks. One is plenty. Maybe if you put in fewer lentils and more water we could eat it with a spoon instead of a fork. Fine! You can do the cooking for a while, Mr. Food Critic.
     
146. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-05-09 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-05-09 Pub. Date: 2015-05-09
Image Number: 126183
Caption: Earl, why can't you pick up after yourself instead of expecting me to do it? I do pick up after myself most of the time. Ha! Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting! She gets her best one-liners from Judge Judy.
     
147. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-05-02 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-05-02 Pub. Date: 2015-05-02
Image Number: 125907
Caption: What's wrong with your ear? I burned it. Oh, no! How? I was ironing, and watching tv. The phone rang, I wasn't thinking … and you put the iron to your ear instead of the phone? That sounds like something I'D do. That is a terrible thing to say!
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-01 Pub. Date: 2015-05-01
Image Number: 126203
Caption: Boss … instead of sending me a tax refund, the IRS sent me a letter saying I owe them $9,000. Do you know anything about that? Nope. In a totally unrelated matter, did you know that businesses have to pay half the social security and Medicare taxes for their employees? And did you know that if a business re-categorizes workers as "independent contractors," then those workers aren't technically employees and become responsible for paying all their own taxes? Very. Bad. Man. I gave you your independence. I'm like Lincoln. You should thank me.
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-29 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-29 Pub. Date: 2015-04-29
Image Number: 126201
Caption: How would you feel about sitting by the window instead of here at the counter, Randy? Why? No reason. I just think you might be more comfortable over there. You wouldn't be using me as bait to lure in people who are drawn to my irresistible animal magnetism, would you? Of course not. What do you mean your boss thinks I'd be more comfortable eating in the stockroom?
     
150. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2015-04-10 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2015-04-10 Pub. Date: 2015-04-10
Image Number: 125084
Caption: Enlightenment sounds okay, but I've decided to go with willful ignorance instead!
     
151. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2015-04-08 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2015-04-08 Pub. Date: 2015-04-08
Image Number: 125248
Caption: I tried to get Attila to buy one of these Apple watches but he got a Microsoft watch instead. Does he like the Microsoft watch? I'm not sure. The cat just sits there looking out the windows.
     
152. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-04-05 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124313
Caption: Who are you knitting that scarf for? I'm not knitting, I'm crocheting. Okay … who are you crocheting that scarf for? It's not a scarf. It's a headband. Well then, who are you crocheting that headband for? Nobody, and now I've decided to make it into a tea cozy instead. She makes it really hard to pretend I'm interested in what she's doing.
     
153. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2015-04-04 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2015-04-04 Pub. Date: 2015-04-04
Image Number: 125002
Caption: You're so cute in that bow tie, Picasso. Thanks, Ed, but - You're adorable! You're like a little boy! Thanks but I'm a grown man so - can I have a beer instead of this Roy Rogers? Sorry, kid, I could lose my license.
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-03 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-03 Pub. Date: 2015-04-03
Image Number: 124961
Caption: Last night, I dreamt that you and I were married. Only instead of a hat, you wore a mohawk. And instead of being into science fiction, you were into Harleys. And instead of being sweet, you were a jerk. And instead of having a two-year-old son, you had no kids at all. But other than that, it was totally you. Dream-me is a very lucky jerk.
     
155. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2015-02-21 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2015-02-21 Pub. Date: 2015-02-21
Image Number: 123135
Caption: So what do you think about missing "Fifty Shades of Grey" and watching tv instead? Bravo. Well thanks! Glad to see you're taking it so well! I meant Bravo TV. It's classy trash. "Time for Mazel of the Day!"
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-06 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122490
Caption: You've reached Randy, The Dating Doctor. What ails you? My girlfriend. She's always dressing me in clothes I don't like, combing my hair in a way I don't like, and trying to get me to do things I don't like to do. That’s because she was impatient. Instead of finding the man of her dreams, she decided to just turn you into the man of her dreams. Run while you're still you. She replaced my running shoes with flip-flops.
     
157. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2015-01-23 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2015-01-23 Pub. Date: 2015-01-23
Image Number: 121442
Caption: Nelson, why are you drinking your root beer that way? Lap lap lap lap lap. I'm licking it like a tiger. How about drinking it like a human instead. That's boring! Don't worry. In a few minutes he'll be burping it like a sailor. Lap lap lap lap lap lap lap.
     
158. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2015-01-20 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2015-01-20 Pub. Date: 2015-01-20
Image Number: 121955
Caption: Edward … you might want to try sneezing in your arm, like this, instead of your hands.
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-17 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-17 Pub. Date: 2015-01-17
Image Number: 121464
Caption: You ever wonder what the world would be like if Lincoln had lived? Stop! I'm tired of everyone trying to blame my great-grandmother for what happened! I mean, sure, she could've let J.W. Booth down easy, instead of mocking and taunting him until the shame made him snap. But blaming her for what happened hours later is just unfair! The history books are so incomplete. She always got blamed for everything. Like the time she set off a firecracker at Fort Sumter. How was she to know?
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-19 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-19 Pub. Date: 2014-12-19
Image Number: 120328
Caption: This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.
     
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