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The Instead Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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321. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-08 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-08 Pub. Date: 2009-05-08
Image Number: 32174
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1948 happen instead of 2009. But for some reason, instead of allowing them to be punished, President Obama PARDONS all Japanese and Nazi war criminals. …So then at Nuremberg when the top Nazis said "We were just following orders," that made a lot of sense to me. You can't really punish folks for torturing prisoners when they were just following orders. ...I mean, what were they SUPPOSED to do? Not follow them. Well... yeah... there's THAT.
     
322. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-07 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-07 Pub. Date: 2009-05-07
Image Number: 32173
Caption: In an alternate reality, the events of 1948 happen instead of 2009. Sorry, boss, I can't possibly read this depressing news in an excited tone. I'd feel like a heel. Yer a good man, Brown. You got principles. But what the people want is excitement, see? I don't know, boss. I got another story for ya to read, then. The headline: "Miracle Cure for Principles Found! It's Called Getting Fired!" President Obama says "It's better not to point fingers" and pardons the Japanese war criminals who tortured our boys! Now that takes moxie!
     
323. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-06 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-06 Pub. Date: 2009-05-06
Image Number: 32172
Caption: In an alternate universe where the events of 1948 happen instead in 2009… A day of reckoning! The civilized world demands either prison or death for the Japanese who ordered torture of Allied war prisoners! President Barack Obama himself says the civilized world must hold these sadists accountable for their inhuman acts of torture! ...And that's why he vows to protect them all from prosecution! Wait, that can't be... Clyde, you been messing with the copy again?
     
324. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-05 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-05 Pub. Date: 2009-05-05
Image Number: 32171
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1948 happen instead of 2009. Tokyo! Imperial Japanese officers sit in grim silence, accused of waterboarding allied prisoners of war! I thought I was drowning. Sometimes they even did it five or six times a day. OH, THE HUMANITY! The entire civilized world is SHOCKED by what is clearly torture! Savages! Moider da bums! Why, I oughta... Mfmw.
     
325. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-05-05 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-05-05 Pub. Date: 2009-05-05
Image Number: 32032
Caption: If you don't want to be a blogger, Mom, you could just twitter instead. Twitter? Yes. A twitterer sends tweets to people in his or her social network. You're putting me on, right? No. This is how people are communicating now. Is it just me, or is the world getting sillier and sillier?
     
326. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-05-03 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-05-03 Pub. Date: 2009-05-03
Image Number: 31802
Caption: Why is the TV on with no sound? Oh, I just like the set on for atmosphere. Atmosphere? Uh huh. With the mute on, it's just pretty moving pictures. It's kind of like an aquarium, but with Regis Philbin, instead of fish.
     
327. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-05-02 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-05-02 Pub. Date: 2009-05-02
Image Number: 31801
Caption: I admire that habit you have of learning a new word every day. I think I'm going to start doing that too. I'm not doing that anymore. You don't? No. I've moved on to forgetting an old word every day instead.
     
328. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-05-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-05-01 Pub. Date: 2009-05-01
Image Number: 31800
Caption: Are you writing in a journal, Mom? Yes, I am, Sylvia. That’s so old-fashioned! You should be writing a blog instead. A blog? Yes. A blog is basically a journal that is available on the Internet. Someone who keeps a blog is called a blogger. Oh, I don't like the sound of that! It sounds like something you'd blow into a hankie.
     
329. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-29 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-29 Pub. Date: 2009-04-29
Image Number: 31998
Caption: Mr. Eye, your industry was nearly bankrupt. Dying. We gave you taxpayer money to turn that around. But months later, we see that instead of using the funds to revitalize your failing industry, you used it to buy…this can't be right… …15 million gold-plated cans of spinach? It wuz me contract that mandated I gives meself a bonus. Me hands wuz tied! Popeye.
     
330. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-04-04 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-04-04 Pub. Date: 2009-04-04
Image Number: 35566
Caption: Hello, Opal! Nice to see you. Hi, Emily! Nice to see you, too. Yes, it's nice to be seen, isn't it? Oh, yes. Very nice. At my age, I'm just glad to be seen instead of viewed.
     
331. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-31 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-31 Pub. Date: 2009-03-31
Image Number: 31249
Caption: Tonaya, internet's broken. What's that, Grandpa? I've been looking at this Lemont Brown guy's tweeter for months. "Twitter," Gramps. It's supposed to be all about politics. But there's all this weird stuff instead that I don't understand. (sigh) What are you talking about, Grandpa? Twitter. Vampire chasing me, trying to drink blood. Peace out. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
332. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2009-03-27 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2009-03-27 Pub. Date: 2009-03-27
Image Number: 31340
Caption: I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway.
     
333. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-03-12 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-03-12 Pub. Date: 2009-03-12
Image Number: 30425
Caption: Opal, why did you let me leave the house without telling me I had put on your big red hat instead of my own? Sorry. There I was walking happily through the park. Everyone was smiling and waving at me. I wondered why I was so popular. Oh, well. At least the humiliation is over now. Hey, Grandpa, I just saw you on You Tube wearing Gramma's hat!
     
334. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-03-09 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-03-09 Pub. Date: 2009-03-09
Image Number: 30422
Caption: Hi, Mom. What're you doing with the camera? I'm waiting for Earl to come home from his walk so I can take his picture. Why do you want to take his picture when he comes home? He doesn't realize it, but he put on my red hat when he left instead of his fedora.
     
335. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2009-03-08 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2009-03-08 Pub. Date: 2009-03-08
Image Number: 30846
Caption: Oral report. "If I ruled the world." If I rule the world, first I'd fix disease and hungerlessness. Children shouldn't go to bed and wonder if they'll get rice or sick. I'd also end cancer with other types of death. I'd end the war in Iranistan by making everyone drop their guns and bombs. I'd bring home our boys because there aren't enough as it is. I'd give free health so getting sick doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Also gyms would be free to get fit as a country, and it reduces stress which is well known to doctors. I'd make schools have subjects like hair and makeup that are useful instead of pointless like history - and boring. With more fun and many more social events to improve everyone's self steam! The world can be perfect! It just takes a ruler who can make the hard choices - like me! Wow. I don't know whether to laugh, cry or applaud.
     
336. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-02-09 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-02-09 Pub. Date: 2009-02-09
Image Number: 29919
Caption: That comes to $13.78. Oh, shoot! What's wrong? I don't know where my head is. Scratch. Scratch. I wrote 1908 on my check instead of 1909.
     
337. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-01-25 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-01-25 Pub. Date: 2009-01-25
Image Number: 29422
Caption: Yawn! AAH! That was great! I just took a power nap. I love the concept of power naps. Instead of taking a long, drawn-out nap, you take a short, but very intense one. It's much better. You cram all the rest you need into a few minutes. Now I'm going to go take a power bath. I'll get the mop.
     
338. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2009-01-14 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2009-01-14 Pub. Date: 2009-01-14
Image Number: 30696
Caption: Delta can't be cut from the trip! She's waited 3 years for this! I'm truly sorry. It was a fair draw. Then I offer myself instead! Wait. Why not just raise more money? How will you earn $800 in 3 weeks? Hm…What? Why are you looking at me?
     
339. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2009-01-11 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2009-01-11 Pub. Date: 2009-01-11
Image Number: 29066
Caption: I love Western shirts. You know why? Why? Because they have snaps instead of buttons, that's why. It's such a pain to have to unbutton each button, one button at a time, when you take your shirt off. Yeah, it is. Especially if you have arthritis in your hands. But with snaps you can just rip your shirt open! Pop! Pop! Pop! Oh, shoot. I forgot--I'm not wearing my Western shirt today. I'll get those buttons for you.
     
340. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2008-12-26 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2008-12-26 Pub. Date: 2008-12-26
Image Number: 30677
Caption: Well, you didn't get any of the fancy gifts on your list. Disappointed? Nope. I got a healthy dog instead. Way better. Y'know, you're becoming a caring, selfless, mature person. I can't pick on you anymore. Yeah, well you're a responsible firefighter that I can't criticize. So NOW how are we supposed to communicate? I dunno. Discuss the weather, I guess.
     
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