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The Instead Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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261. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-13 Pub. Date: 2011-05-13
Image Number: 60781
Caption: Osama Bin Laden visits Lemont's dream. You're the last person I will ever speak to. Don't you have ANY questions for me? Ok, fine. One question … All across the Middle East, the people are finally rebelling against their tyrants, like you always wanted. But instead of a new Islamist revolution, they're demanding more freedom and self-determination. How does it feel to die irrelevant? Questions are overrated.
     
262. Comic Strip Signe Wilkinson  Family Tree 2011-05-06 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Family Tree
Viewable Date: 2011-05-06 Pub. Date: 2011-05-06
Image Number: 60396
Caption: You kidnapped my cat! I asked you to keep him inside! Instead, he's in my yard killing birds. He so gentle! How do you know it was my cat? Easy. By his distinctive plumage! Mitts!
     
263. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-01 Pub. Date: 2011-05-01
Image Number: 60249
Caption: What do you see, Murph? Nothing new. Some of them are reading a newspaper. Some of them are online. Still, I don't think they know anything. What's to know, really? That we're still monitoring them, just as much as we did under Bush. That we've grown so large we've got hundreds of departments and agencies operating out of 1,300 facilities all over the country. That the number of Americans with "top secret" clearance is approaching 1 million. That we've become an unaccountable leech on the treasury that few leaders have the guts to defund, so instead they pretend all that money is being stolen by teachers, nurses, cops, janitors, firefighters and little kids in "head start." They don't seem all that curious. Like I said ... nothing new.
     
264. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2011-04-16 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2011-04-16 Pub. Date: 2011-04-16
Image Number: 59578
Caption: Hey, sis. Whatcha doin'? Writing my pageant speech. But I'm not sure it's right. Listen to this: "Why do the beautiful, curvy, cheerleader types always win pageants? What if an average girl won for a change? Wouldn't this send a powerful positive message?" Sounds like you're trying to convince the judges to vote for you instead of Tiffany. Oh! It's perfect then.
     
265. Comic Strip John Deering  Strange Brew 2011-03-12 instead 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2011-03-12 Pub. Date: 2011-03-12
Image Number: 58358
Caption: Look, couch, the accessories and I have all talked, and you need to go find a job instead of just sitting there all the time!
     
266. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2011-03-11 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2011-03-11 Pub. Date: 2011-03-11
Image Number: 58627
Caption: Instead of middle age, I call it "Youth, the Sequel"!
     
267. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-03-05 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-03-05 Pub. Date: 2011-03-05
Image Number: 57822
Caption: What kind of sandwich is that, Earl? It’s a regret sandwich. A regret sandwich? What's that? It’s the kind of sandwich where you regret you don't have something instead of bologna between the bread.
     
268. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-15 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-15 Pub. Date: 2011-02-15
Image Number: 57399
Caption: Why should I be your Facebook friend? So we can chat. Spare change? But we're chatting now. It's not the same. If we're Facebook friends, I could respond to you at my leisure instead of having to do it in real time. And I don't even have to get dressed just to chat with you. This doesn't explain why you're not wearing pants. I don't have a computer. Spare change?
     
269. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-13 Pub. Date: 2011-02-13
Image Number: 57044
Caption: Let's say you DID give a brutha $2 to get you some Doritos … Let's say instead of acquiring said Doritos, this dexterous young man adroitly utilized it to procure a propitious thesaurus app for his iPhone. And let's say this gentlemen intents to employ commodious colloquy to obfuscate and confound while absconding with other people's currency. Hypodermically speaking, of course.
     
270. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2011-02-12 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2011-02-12 Pub. Date: 2011-02-12
Image Number: 57513
Caption: He's the most obsessively neat captain I've ever worked for --- He has a dustbuster instead of a hook.
     
271. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-08 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-08 Pub. Date: 2011-02-08
Image Number: 57039
Caption: Before I hear opening statements, I want to make an opening statement of my own … No judge wants to preside over a child custody hearing. They're spiteful and rife with negative campaigning. Parents act like politicians, attacking their opponent's character instead of making a case for themselves. I will not stand for that in my courtroom. @#$%&#!!! There goes our whole case! You may proceed.
     
272. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-02-04 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-02-04 Pub. Date: 2011-02-04
Image Number: 56867
Caption: My wife has started using sea salt instead of regular table salt. She says it tastes better. I say salt is salt. For as long as I can remember we've used regular table salt, now suddenly it’s not good enough anymore. Is that crazy or what? I prefer kosher salt myself. Although I also like Fleur De Sel and, on special occasions, Himalayan pink salt. Salt snob!
     
273. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-24 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-24 Pub. Date: 2011-01-24
Image Number: 56619
Caption: I think dreams are about wish fulfillment. Even the negative ones. We either wish things WOULD happen, or we wish they WOULDN'T happen. Our dreams tell us everything we want to know about our fears, our desires, our wishes. I dreamt that instead of running out of the clock so you can bill me more, you actually let me talk about the dream I had last night. We're out of time. Would you like to schedule another session to discuss that?
     
274. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-14 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-14 Pub. Date: 2011-01-14
Image Number: 56141
Caption: Hello baby, it's Momma. My new year's resolution is to stop giving you guilt trips. That's why, instead of waiting in vain for you to call your mother to find out whether she's alive or dead, I'm taking the initiative and calling you. Happy New Year, bab -- (cough cough) ... baby.
     
275. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-03 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-03 Pub. Date: 2011-01-03
Image Number: 55831
Caption: I resolve to become president. "President C-Dog," ruler and master of ALL you fools. That can't be your New Year's resolution. Your resolution has to be something that's within your power to do. Oh. Well then I resolve to hold doors open for people behind me, instead of letting them smack them in the face. ... No, something that's in YOUR power to do. I resolve to watch a little more TV.
     
276. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-28 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-28 Pub. Date: 2010-11-28
Image Number: 54485
Caption: Wuzzat? I said "I'm you, from decades in the future." I've come back through time in your dreams to give you directions - a roadmap that'll prevent a lifetime of financial hardship. Refuse any college loans. Instead, apply for ten credit cards and pay for college with those. Then, when you graduate, declare bankruptcy. Bankruptcy doesn't wipe out college loans, but it DOES wipe out credit card debt. Um ... I graduated from college over a decade ago. Oh. Which way is 1999? That way.
     
277. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2010-11-07 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2010-11-07 Pub. Date: 2010-11-07
Image Number: 53947
Caption: What are you doing? I'm writing a story about my hero, Leif Ericson, the great Norse explorer. One day, Leif Ericson came across a little lemming … who was about to jump off a cliff into a river. Leif said "Don't jump little lemming." ! And he gave the lemming to his assistant, who taught it how to wade across instead of jumping off a cliff. And the moral to the story is? ... If Leif hands you a lemming, make lemmings wade. Some people just don't like history.
     
278. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2010-11-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2010-11-01 Pub. Date: 2010-11-01
Image Number: 53714
Caption: Hey Boy. I'm out the door! Bam. So that's the video Luann and Quill made? Yeah. They spent hours together working on that. Pathetic, huh? That it was her instead of you? How could I lose to such a loser?!
     
279. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2010-10-24 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2010-10-24 Pub. Date: 2010-10-24
Image Number: 53139
Caption: Are you sharpening that pencil with your pocket knife, Grampa? Yes, I am, son, and you know, we're all kind of like this pencil. The most important part of us is on the inside. Sometimes we spend too much time erasing and not enough time writing. Or sometimes we do too much writing and forget to sharpen the pencil. And sometimes we spend too much time sharpening and we end up as a useless little stub. That's something to think about, isn't it? Could I be the pocketknife instead?
     
280. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2010-10-06 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2010-10-06 Pub. Date: 2010-10-06
Image Number: 52424
Caption: Every time I take Muffin for a walk on a leash she climbs up a tree. Now I'm using this cat carrier instead. I used to not be able to get near a tree without her climbing it, but now it's nota problem. Earl, would you mind prying us off this tree?
     
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