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The Instead Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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241. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-12-02 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-12-02 Pub. Date: 2011-12-02
Image Number: 73247
Caption: Well, as long as we're critiquing poor pronunciation, you're not perfect either. Oh? You always say "problee" instead of "Probably." It drives me batty. Oh, really? Well, you always mispronounce "archipelago." the "ch" should have a "k" sound, not a "ch" sound. I've never said that word in my life. Trust me, if you did, you'd say it wrong.
     
242. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2011-11-27 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2011-11-27 Pub. Date: 2011-11-27
Image Number: 72874
Caption: Gunther! You're wearing glasses again. Yup. Glasses are 'in.' It's called 'geek chic.' So you're wearing glasses now instead of your contacts? No, I've still got my contacts in. The glasses are fake! So my vision's still good when I take them off. Pretty smart, huh? Seems like there's a fine line between 'geek chic' and just ... geek. You're just envious of my keen fashion sense.
     
243. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-11-26 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-11-26 Pub. Date: 2011-11-26
Image Number: 73018
Caption: Why are you putting on an apron, grampa? We're having spaghetti for supper, and gramma is tired of cleaning tomato sauce stains off my shirt. Couldn’t you just wear a bib instead? Are you kidding? Can you imagine how silly I'd look wearing a bib? Yeah. Sort of.
     
244. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2011-11-20 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2011-11-20 Pub. Date: 2011-11-20
Image Number: 73380
Caption: Excuse me, sir, but you look cold. I am, I just came of the cryogenics lab. I've been frozen in a state of suspended animation for thirty-five years. Why did you have yourself frozen? The TV shows were awful thirty-five years ago. I figured if I could just go thirty-five years into the future, television will have something thought-provoking and enriching by then. Instead of the gratuitous sex-and-violence-type shows they had thirty-five years ago. What are the new shows now? Charlie's Angels and Hawaii Five-O. FREEZE ME. FREEZE ME.
     
245. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2011-11-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2011-11-13 Pub. Date: 2011-11-13
Image Number: 72210
Caption: I've realized something kinda weird. I'm into dozens of activities - school paper, clubs, volunteer groups, adopt-a-street, etc. You're the busiest person I know, Delta. But you do it all cuz you love it, right? That's the thing. Each activity gives me happiness. But all together, they make me stressed and overwhelmed instead of happy. Maybe you should drop a few activities. No! Dropping any will make me unhappy! Sounds like you're stuck. It's a sad thing when happiness makes you miserable.
     
246. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-02 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-02 Pub. Date: 2011-11-02
Image Number: 72410
Caption: I'm still trying to figure out why I spend the first year on health care instead of on jobs. After all, Bill Clinton did that, and it nearly wrecked his presidency. It's like I didn't learn from history. And for some reason, I waited until my political capital was almost gone before finally introducing the jobs bill. He really needs to work on his campaign ads. Obama 2012: Better late than never.
     
247. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-11-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-11-01 Pub. Date: 2011-11-01
Image Number: 26899
Caption: I'll bet if the city planted fruit trees instead of ornamental trees in the parks, we could feed all the homeless. Just think, they could have all the apples, plums, pears, apricots and cherries they could eat. They'd need to build a lot more public restrooms. True. (Published originally on 2008-09-30.)
     
248. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-03 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-03 Pub. Date: 2011-10-03
Image Number: 66211
Caption: I'm giving the closing argument tonight in Lemont Brown's custody hearing. Billy Meeks, Kid Lawyer. He's got no chance. I think instead of showing up, I'll get a "stomache," fake my own death, and move to Disneyland to start a new life. Um ... Lemont? Billy here. Disregard that text, it was meant for my friend Clem, and hat totally nothing at all to do with you.
     
249. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2011-10-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2011-10-01 Pub. Date: 2011-10-01
Image Number: 65974
Caption: Quill could return to Australia anytime. So we work really hard to not get serious. But any relationship can end for a million reasons. Why not just enjoy it? Because when it ends, it will be awful. Isn't it awful now? Yes, but it's good awful instead of awful awful. Sounds like an awful excuse, Luann.
     
250. Comic Strip Jerry Van Amerongen  Ballard Street 2011-09-16 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Jerry Van Amerongen
Comic/Cartoon: Ballard Street
Viewable Date: 2011-09-16 Pub. Date: 2011-09-16
Image Number: 65511
Caption: Alison rushed to investigate a suspicious fire, but instead found floodlight hobbiest Vern Staples.
     
251. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-09-15 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-09-15 Pub. Date: 2011-09-15
Image Number: 65490
Caption: Eating a donut, huh? When I was a kid I used to eat around the outside and just leave the hole. Then I'd wear the donut hole on my thumb, like a ring. And then I'd eat the hole all in one bite and make a wish. I'll bet you wished your parents would buy you real toys instead of making you play with donuts.
     
252. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2011-09-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2011-09-13 Pub. Date: 2011-09-13
Image Number: 65502
Caption: Instead of a report, I'll just read you all of my status updates off my Facebook this summer.
     
253. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2011-08-23 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2011-08-23 Pub. Date: 2011-08-23
Image Number: 64363
Caption: Superhero HQ. They feel more a part of the team if you call them a "sidekick" instead of an "intern."
     
254. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-08-21 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-08-21 Pub. Date: 2011-08-21
Image Number: 64538
Caption: Have you heard from Sylvia lately, Earl? No. I guess she's been pretty busy with work and things. I try calling her but she never answers her phone. She says I should send her text messages instead. She says she always answers her text messages. What is it with young people and their text messages? I think they like them because that way they can communicate with us without actually having to see or hear us.
     
255. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-19 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-19 Pub. Date: 2011-08-19
Image Number: 64453
Caption: In less than a month, it'll be ten years since 9-11. I thought we'd have rebuilt the Twin Towers by now. Instead, we spent the last ten years waging a war that half of us didn't want, wrecking our economy, bickering and being petty. That's your side's fault.
     
256. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2011-08-05 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2011-08-05 Pub. Date: 2011-08-05
Image Number: 64132
Caption: I went to a fast food place. But not they put the nutritional menu on the menu. So instead of a happy meal I got a morbidly obese meal.
     
257. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-26 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-26 Pub. Date: 2011-06-26
Image Number: 62378
Caption: You've reached Slummlerd Apartments. How may we hinder you? I'm Lemont Brown, apartment 38. Last week you raised my rent another $40. Today, I got a notice you're charging me a $195 "rental assessment fee." The city charges us an annual fee to assess how much we're allowed to raise your rent. They let us pass the assessment fee on to you. I"m already paying you $1,350! $1,390 this month, if you include the assessment fee. So instead of helping us out in these tough times, you're nickel-and-diming tenants who already pay you thousands per month. Do you know how insulting that is? Are you asking me to assess the situation? NO! NEVER MIND.
     
258. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2011-06-14 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2011-06-14 Pub. Date: 2011-06-14
Image Number: 62078
Caption: I've always wanted thin, graceful ankles. Instead, I've got these thick cankles. It's a family trait. All the women in our family have them, except my sister. How come she doesn’t have them? Because she's a family traitor.
     
259. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-13 Pub. Date: 2011-05-13
Image Number: 60781
Caption: Osama Bin Laden visits Lemont's dream. You're the last person I will ever speak to. Don't you have ANY questions for me? Ok, fine. One question … All across the Middle East, the people are finally rebelling against their tyrants, like you always wanted. But instead of a new Islamist revolution, they're demanding more freedom and self-determination. How does it feel to die irrelevant? Questions are overrated.
     
260. Comic Strip Signe Wilkinson  Family Tree 2011-05-06 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Family Tree
Viewable Date: 2011-05-06 Pub. Date: 2011-05-06
Image Number: 60396
Caption: You kidnapped my cat! I asked you to keep him inside! Instead, he's in my yard killing birds. He so gentle! How do you know it was my cat? Easy. By his distinctive plumage! Mitts!
     
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