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Candorville

Comics about things that are illegal .

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (73 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-29 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-29 Pub. Date: 2019-07-29
Image Number: 178781
Caption: Thank you for coming in on your day off, minion. It reflects well on your character. I thought my job depended on it. I don't know how you got that impression. I would never force you to come in on your day off. That would be illegal. You said Come in on your day off. Your job depends on it. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy ... that's just a figure of speech. You went on to say I mean it. That's not just a figure of speech. That was a figure of speech too.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-02 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-02 Pub. Date: 2019-06-02
Image Number: 177793
Caption: I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-24 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-24 Pub. Date: 2019-04-24
Image Number: 177325
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-19 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-19 Pub. Date: 2019-01-19
Image Number: 175845
Caption: I've never had so many people tell me to go !@#$ myself in my whole entire life, Susan. All I did was write an article called It's Time to Make Private Schools Illegal. You did what? The theory is, if the children of millionaires and billionaires had to go to public school, you can bet they'd make sure our public school systems were amazing. It's not a bad idea. Half the comments I got misspelled !@#$. So I wrote another article about how that proved my point.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-12 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172213
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-02 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171054
Caption: How long you think it be till unaccountability trickle down to the rest of us? The Democrats got Debbie Wasserman Shultz' people destroying ballots before they can be recounted. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to them. The president use his office to make money e'reday. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to him. What did you do, Clyde? Don't matter. That's my point.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-29 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-29 Pub. Date: 2018-04-29
Image Number: 170626
Caption: I read your article called We Still Have Slavery in America. What a load of nonsense. Everyone knows our dear, sweet and wonderful Congress abolished slavery with the thirteenth amendment. That's right. But that same 13th amendment says Except as punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly connected. Trump calls mass incarceration "good start". Black and brown people are stopped more often, and convicted more harshly than white people who've done that same stuff, our prisons are mostly black and brown. They force these people to work. Sometimes for next to nothing. But often for nothing at all. They lease convicts out to work in mines, to pick cotton on farms, to sew lingerie, to build weapons of war, and if they refuse to work for free, they're punished. Yeah, well ... slavery was in the 19th century. This is the 21st, ipso facto, it can't be slavery. Haven't you wondered why they've sent millions and millions to prison for smoking the wrong plant?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-14 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166587
Caption: I was walking along the sidewalk minding my own business … Dr Noodle … when a cop stopped me and ticketed me for walking without a driver's license. Then he took me to jail and held me there for seven hours. May lawyer found out he's done this before, almost always to black pedestrians. I tried really hard to understand why he does that. I thought "maybe he's just incompetent. Maybe he's emasculated at home so he overcompensates at work. Maybe he was trained to do this and so it's not his fault. Maybe the Mandela Effect is real and he came from an alternate universe where walking without a driver's license actually is illegal. People often go to great lengths to avoid noticing this particular elephant in the room. I'm told it's awfully rude to accuse people who do racist things of being racist.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-12 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-12 Pub. Date: 2017-09-12
Image Number: 162598
Caption: This is Nightly News with Martin Niemoller. First they came for the travelers from Muslim countries … then they came for the Latino criminals who were here illegally. Then they came for legal immigrants who don't know English. Then they came for the hard-working, decent, productive Latinos who were brought here illegally as kids and know no other country. That's too bad. Hey, I feel like a ham sandwich. Hey wait, you might want to hear the rest of this ...
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-25 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-25 Pub. Date: 2017-07-25
Image Number: 160758
Caption: Thanks for watching my boy while I was in Russia, Clyde. Ain't nothin', bruh. What'd you guys do? Oh, you know … watched some Sesame Street … Wreaked havoc, ran a epic hustle, inadvertently pitted the cartel against the yazuka … What did you do?! Whatever y'all do, don't take him to the Cobra Lounge, he ain't allowed there no more.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-19 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-19 Pub. Date: 2017-04-19
Image Number: 157014
Caption: Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting surveyed the five top newspapers in America after our attack on Syria. They found that the papers ran 18 opinion pieces about the attack. Guess how many of them were opposed to it? And how many mentioned it was illegal? I'm guessing it was less than 18. It was zero. What I win? I was right, so do I win somethin'? You win a military industrial journalism complex.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-31 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 153972
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. I think he really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? "A lie is not a lie if you believe it." America elected George Costanza president.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-25 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-25 Pub. Date: 2016-09-25
Image Number: 148272
Caption: It all started when I considered voting for Donald Trump. He's against illegal immigration. I'm against illegal immigration. So why not? People said that made him racist. But I agree with him, and I know I'm not racist. And if people were wrong to call him "racist" about that, maybe they're wrong to call him racist about everything. I started arguing with my own wife. I said demanding Obama's birth certificate wasn't racist. I said wanting to ban all Muslim immigrants wasn't racist. Trump saying a judge couldn't do his job because he's Mexican-American? I said that wasn't racist. I said the fact he kept retweeting white supremacists wasn't racist. But yesterday ... I caught myself saying "What's so racist about white supremacists anyway?" You're worried that supporting Trump is desensitizing you to racism? No, I just wondered if I can bunk here tonight. My wife kicked me out.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-05 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-05 Pub. Date: 2016-08-05
Image Number: 146692
Caption: Whachoo think of abortion, Big L? I think you're bringing up an emotional, divisive issue in order to distract me. Do you think Jesus woulda been against gay marriage 'cause he was black? Whatever, Clyde. I said I want that $2 you owe me. Did you know Jesus was an illegal immigrant?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-11 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-11 Pub. Date: 2016-04-11
Image Number: 141796
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying, an' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-12 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-12 Pub. Date: 2016-02-12
Image Number: 138875
Caption: What's wrong with you? I'm not sure whom to vote for anymore. I was leaning on Trump … but when he lost that first contest in Iowa, I realized he's not the "always-wins" guy I thought he was. Then I thought, maybe Cruz. He's strong on illegal immigration too. But on the other hand, as Trump said, he's an Anchor Baby. And I hate those. How can you hate a baby? Don't let their pudgy cheeks fool you. Anchor Babies are the worst.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-06 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-06 Pub. Date: 2015-09-06
Image Number: 131719
Caption: I want two things from our next president. First, I want him to be America's greatest cheerleader. I want him to constantly say that America is "exceptional." I don't want him focusing on "police brutality" and all the other things that make us look bad. I want him to make sure the whole world knows that the USA is the best place to live that there's ever been, in the whole history of mankind. What's the second thing you want? I want him to do something about all the foreigners who're so desperate to come live here that they can't wait a few measly decades to do it legally. Exoneration Nation. But ... I thought you wanted him to make America seem like it's the only place worth living. Not in an invitationy way ... more as a "nanny-nanny-na-na."
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-26 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-26 Pub. Date: 2015-08-26
Image Number: 131715
Caption: Can I use your computer when you done, Big L. No, Clyde. With just a few clicks, you'd have access to my journal, my bank account, my photos and my browser history. Or you could download a virus or do something illegal and I'd get blamed for it. When have I ever done anything like that today? Forget it.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-07 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121078
Caption: We're several different people, Clyde. Say what? When I was a kid, I hated wheat bread. When I was a teen, I hated jazz. When I was 25, I hated "Star Trek: Enterprise." Now I love all that stuff. I'm not the same person I was 30, 20 or even 10 years ago. You need me to get you a new ID? I know a guy.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-28 illegal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-28 Pub. Date: 2014-11-28
Image Number: 119348
Caption: Download the "Hunger Games" bootleg, Big L. I will not. People work hard to create entertainment. The least we could do it pay them for it if we watch it, Clyde. What "people"? You mean the "people" who live in big mansions in the Hollywood Hills where they pay they nannies slave wages and STARVE us of movies unless we pay them an arm and a leg? Them "people" brought this on theyselves. You're not Robin Hood, and "Hunger Games" isn't food.
     
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